Shower Invite But No Wedding Invite?

I wouldn`t attend the shower either then. And no, a gift should not be expected. Frankly, i think that inviting a guest to the shower and not to the wedding is very rude and classless.

I`ve had the same invite situation - invite to the shower, but no invite to the wedding. I chose to opt out of the shower. Why spend the effort finding a gift to celebrate their marriage when I`m not even invited to celebrate their marrage on the wedding day!!! For the stagette, if it`s a bunch of friends go and have fun. You can always leave when you want to!!

If they are close friends maybe a small gift- if you would have given one anyway (even if you had not been invited to the shower /bachelorette party or wedding)

If you gave at the shower and bachelorette party you don`t have to send a gift for the wedding.

Or Maybe just take a card to both and say it because of buget- meanspirited I know, but so is saying you are good enough to shower me with gifts but I can`t afford to have you at the wedding.

Brides shouldn`t invite you to a shower and not the wedding. To me it says, you can pay for me but I can`t pay for you. And three in one year--whoah! No, it`s not a new trend in wedding etiquette, although with as many shower invites as you`ve received I can see how you might think so!

I agree that it would be rude for a bride to host a shower and invite people who are not invited to the wedding.

But what if it`s not the bride throwing the shower? Should you then invite the shower guests to your wedding?

In my case, some folks that I used to work with are throwing a small do at someone`s house, in my honour. I think this is wonderful of them to do this. I hadn`t invited the hosts to the wedding, but I still can, and I believe I will do so. Invites were just sent three days ago.

Aside from the hosts, I don`t know who is going to be there. By the time the shower comes, it will be only about three weeks before the wedding, too late to invite anyone else.

What to do?

K

Nobody disagrees about this- so I don`t see it becoming a trend either-

I am inviting guests because they are invited to my shower. We have a pretty flexible reception and they are mutual friends of the host. She ran the list by me and there were a few college friends that I haven`t seen in a while, but I`d love to see them so I added them to my invite list.

If people from work on their own decide to all get together and have a shower for you, you are not obligated to invite them to the wedding. But for any of the official showers given by the bridal party or family members you should not invite anyone that is not on the guest list. The shower list should come from the guest list only. If you are not close enough to invite these people to the wedding, why should they be invited to a shower. Again just for the gift? This is just not right. Poor Emily Post is probably SPINNING!

Ok, but what if the wedding ceremony is limited to close family only ( about 6 guests total) and this is a second marriage for both? I am hosting a shower and this has come up. Any suggestions?

Stacey, if only close family are getting invitations to the wedding, then I`d skip doing a shower. You cannot in good taste invite people to come provide gifts for the bride and then tell them they`re not invited to the wedding.

I have only seen a couple of circumstances where inviting someone to the shower and then not inviting them to the wedding would be considered ok. One-it is a VERY small private ceremony. Two-It is a destination wedding, and they are invited to the at home reception if there is one.HTH-Jenifer