Help With What My Sister Should Do

Ask her what is in her perspective to do, I mean , no offence, she sounds kinda bitchy to me! I`d purposly make her hand out programs ... No offence. Although I dont have a sister, I can`t really justify, good luck!

For gosh sakes she is your sister!! That is reason enough to be a bridesmaid at your wedding. You don`t have to be "close" to her to have her stand up in your wedding. She`s your sister.

I think that just because she is your sister she should be included as a bridesmaid. Let her get all dolled up at her sister`s wedding! It doesn`t cost you anything to include her as a bridesmaid, just a small gift. You could use this opportunity/chance to reunite with your sister and as a way to reconnect and bond.

If you are completely adament against having her involved, she could be an usher, man the guestbook, or hand out programs. All I know is that if I was given a job like this at my sister`s wedding I would feel very unneeded, unimportant, and bad.

You may not be close to her now, but she is your sister and your relationship will evolve throughout your lives. Even close friends are going to get busy, move away, marry- you won`t be close to them forever, probably not as long as you will know your sister. This is a great chance to be unselfish, generous even?

If you do decide to ask her- I hope you do- do it soon, and try not to make it seem like you are just giving in because she pestered you, that even worse than being left out in the first place.

Thanks to those who actually named somethings for her to do -if you knew her you would understand why we are not close and why i do not want her in the wedding party, i think i might give her a few of the little jobs and hope she will be satisfied with that. And all of my bridesmaids are married or don`t live near and we still manage to stay close.

Mmmmkay then. Now it`s clear why you`re not close with her.

I also forgot to mention that she is 16, so it is not like she is too old to do other jobs. My brother who is 11 is an usher and i told her she could do that with him also and that is still not enough and her and my mom think that there is NO WAY a girl can be an usher ( i have seen it in weddings so i don`t think it is unusual. ) i just asked for some suggestions on what she could do other than being in the wedding party not for critisism on her not being in it. But thanks anyways

What an insult. Your own sister is practically begging out to be a bridesmaid in your wedding and you just keep insulting her with these little "jobs" to try and keep her busy and out of your special little "me and my close friends" clique of sorts. I know you don`t want to hear it, but you should really listen to your mother - she knows what she`s talking about. You are being very self centered and stubborn. And if you already weren`t close with your sister, just think how much less close you`ll be after this wedding. You`re a meanie poo.

I could be wrong but in about 99% of all of the weddings, magazines and websites i had been to or looked at the wedding party is made up of the most important people in your life those who you are closest to. Meaning that since i am not close with her that she would not be in my wedding party. And i don`t count on being in hers (even if she was in mine ) i wouldn`t be bothered one bit b/c we are not close. It is not manditory that brothers/sisters be a part of the wedding party. At least i am trying to let her do something my brother is more that happy with being an usher even if he is 11

I wonder if you actually sat down with your mom and sister and told them how you felt about your sister if any of the family would still be in your wedding. And a question whos paying for the wedding is it your mom if so that explains why you dont want to say any thing. And i agree with the person above you are a meanie poo but i would have said something stronger.

I can relate to you. My sister is pissed that she`s not in my wedding party either. I didn`t ask her to be my MOH and she threw a fit. She`s 23 and we don`t get along at all. She thought that she was going to be MOH just cause. When I asked her to light a candle in our father`s memory she told me that she was going to be the MOH or nothing else. I had already asked my bestfriend to standup with me so making her MOH was out of the question.

I think that you should just have the people who are closest to you stand with you. Plus if you two don`t get along with each other, then you don;t need the added stress of having her in the wedding. You need to elimate all stresses around you.

You do what you need to do to feel good about this day.

Good Luck

You could ask her to grow up and be more interesting so that you will like her. Because she isn`t important enough to wear a dress and stand for an hour. I am afraid of her if you are the older sister, how immature is she?

Stephanie,

Don`t listen to all the negativity on here.

Wow....alot of you are acting like her younger sister!

I have a large immediate family and I am the youngest and I am getting married in a few months. Choosing the bridesmaids was a very hard decision. I am only having 1 of my 5 sisters as a bridesmaid and my 4 brothers are the ushers. I don`t get along with 1 of my sisters. Well I guess none of us do. She is very selfish and immature. All of my family understands why I am not having her do anything in the wedding.

Remember this is your day! Do what makes you happy, not everybody else. Because if you try to please everybody you will end up pleasing nobody.

I hope I helped and Good Luck!!

Kerri

I have to agree with the majority here. She should be a bridesmaid. It makes me wonder why you aren`t close. It seems to me that you are painting her as the total little b*tch, yet it also seems to me that you are excluding her just to hurt her. I too didn`t get along with my sister when i was younger, but i grew up! Your sister, like it or not, is a young lady who is growing up and beginning to form adult opinions and relationships. If you block her out now, you will be forever blocking out any chance of a closer relationship with her in the future. I also think it is rude to include your 11-year-old brother as an usher, but tell her she can hand out programs. If you are absolutely steadfast about excluding her as a bridesmaid, have her do a reading of a poem during the ceremony or sing a song or something.

Everyone is chipping in a bit on the wedding and i have told them how i feel and she wants to be a bridesmaid and that is it. As i said before her and my mom don`t think that a girl can be an usher, so i have tried giving her a few smaller things but that isn`t making her happy. But it is MY day and she will have to take what i have offered her or i will give those duties to someone that will be more that happy to do them. And thanks to those who can relate to me.

And sorry for those who are related to you.

It`s your wedding, so throw her a scrap or two so you can blame her when she`s insulted.

And for those who don`t relate to Stephanie, be grateful for the loving relationship you have with your own families.

I have a suggestion for a couple of jobs that she could do. Have her be the proxy at your wedding rehersal. That is really a pretty big job.

Another suggestion is to let her be an honorary bridesmaid. I did this in my wedding. I have a lot of friends. I have a about 5 people that I am really close with and 5 that I am just friends with. My husband was only having 5 groomsmen, so in order to be even I chose my 5 close friends. I placed a small table to the side at the front of the church. On the table was a pretty crystal vase filled with long stem roses. I set aside a special pew for the honoraries. Each girl went up to special music and took a rose from the vase, then went to their special pew. I even mentioned them in the program. I think it would be acceptable to have her do something like this. It would probably satisfy her and you.
Most of all, do what you want to do. Don`t let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn`t do in this matter. It is your decision. If you and your fiance are happy with the decision, that is all that matters.

Last year I attended the wedding of an old schoolmate. She was 27, her sister just graduated from high school. Given that the bride had been away at college for four years and then at grad school in Philadelphia I doubt these two were that close. But she extended the courtesy because they were sisters. I am having my 1/2 sister who will be 9 and my 1/2 brother who will be 13 in my wedding. Of course we are not close but it would create quite a family feud if I didn`t. I`m having my stepmom in the receiving line even though I would rather stick a fork in my eye but that would be nothing compared to what I would go through if none of the above were taking place. My sister and I hated each other for years...now we are the best of friends. Sometimes we just do what we have to do even if we don`t want to. Stop the arguing and stress. Just hold your head up high and include your sister. Someday you may be glad you did. I know that`s not what you want to hear...

Who isn`t a pain in the butt at 16? Try to treat her kindly, because when she grows up she`ll probably be a completely different person. Don`t burn bridges just because of how she acts now - you may be closer later in life. Whether or not you choose to have her as a bridesmaid is your decision and nobody else`s, but I think you`re being a little harsh given her age.

I have to agree with Traci, alot can, and will change over the next few years as your sister matures. The last thing you want to do is look back on this day and regret NOT having your sister involved.