RENEWING VOWS CEREMONY

According to the wedding industry "anything goes" because they are interested in making money. Period. According to good taste and social graces - anything does NOT go. You`re already married, so to put on a big production pretending to get married again would be your choice of course, but it wouldn`t be in very good taste. I would suggest you do a small renewal ceremony with close friends and family and enjoy a dinner reception afterwards to celebrate your anniversary. Definitely do NOT do a wedding registry and do not expect gifts, although you will probably receive some anyway. That will be nice.

Just keep remembering that this is not a wedding.. It is an anniversary celebration.

Sure you can have dancing! Have a nice party with food and music! I would not do bridal/wedding type things at your reception though. For instance I wouldn`t think it`s in good taste to have bouquet and garter tosses or to have a huge tiered wedding cake. I mean have a reception to celebrate your five years together by all means, just don`t turn it into a wedding reception. Celebrate what it actually is - your anniversary!

I also personally wouldn`t wear a traditional wedding dress. I know you want to have something that you feel you missed out on, but you`ve been married for five years. You`re not a bride. I`d wear something a little less foo foo and a little more sophisticated. You can still look beautiful, just stay away from traditional bridal.

As I said, the wedding industry has us all now believing that renewal ceremonies should be like huge weddings, because they are money makers for the wedding industry. But a vow renewal is not a wedding - it is exactly what is says, a vow renewal. It should be simple. Simple can still mean elegant and can still mean romantic and fun. But you don`t walk down the aisle alone or with your dad. You walk together with your husband. And you don`t have attendants and flower girls etc.

I know that a lot of people are going to tell you that I`m being old fashioned and that you should do whatever you want. Well, I`m not being old fashioned, but nonetheless you CAN do whatever you like. I just feel that you should know that some people get their information from the internet and wedding industry people who want them to everything. Just because a lot of people are doing it doesn`t make it right.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope it will be a beautiful day for you and your husband and your families. Good luck to you!!

Hi, I have found that 85% of all the sources I have researched (books, magazines, online) say it is acceptable to wear a wedding gown if you so desire. If you have and questions on what people will think then simply ask them.
When I stated planning my renewal of vows and found out that some sources say yes and say no. So I simply asked the people that I was planning to invite what they thought of the subject of me wearing a gown. And I only had 1 person out of 80 people I asked say it was not acceptable…79 said it was an awesome idea! And the ages consisted of 20 year olds to 90 year olds.

So when I was wearing my gown I was confident in my decision because the people that were attending all approved of my decision.

Yes, it may resemble a wedding, but there are differences you should make, like walking hand in hand, no veil over your face, how you say your vows.

I know some may say it is not proper, but too many sources say you are allowed to wear a dress, and most have nothing to do with the wedding industry. Etiquette books have info stating you can wear a gown if you never had one for the 1st wedding.

I say go for the gown if you so desire…its your day and you deserve to wear what you would like…if you have any questions on what your friends and family will think than simply ask them their opinion.

Good luck!
Hailey

Hey, you only live once, have that dream gown!

And CONGRATS on 4 years...may you have many more!

Hello Kimberly! My husband and I too, are planning a vow reaffirmation ceremony. I was skeptical at first about what is appropriate and not so I did a lot of research and here is some of what I found out. For the most part wedding professionals are saying that you should do whatever it is that makes you happy as long as it is done in good taste. There are only a few things that I found out that are no-no`s. Such as wearing a veil, being given away (bc your already married) and having prewedding activites, like a bachlorette party and registering for gifts. As far as the reception goes you can have whatever kind of party you want. I plan to have a dj, a cake (bc I`ve been told not only by professionals but by family memebers and friends, and others who have done this themselves in the past couple of years), and I`m considering a cater. You may opt to keep the affair simple and just invite a few guests or you may chose to do other wise. I didn`t have the wedding that I wanted either for reasons that couldn`t be helped at the time, but we plan to celebrate our 5 th wedding anniversary in a way that will be most meaningfull to us and I think that`s the most important thing to keep in mind. As far as the ceremony goes some people have told me they said their old vows and other told me they said new ones to reflect the past 5yrs. I`ve also heard of a ceremony where the guests where asked to say a vow all together to keep loving and encouraging the couple and stregthening their family ( I thought this was neat, and bc we are only inviting close family to the actual ceremony part, my husband and I have decided to use that in ours!) I have found different sites that have all sorts of ideas for vow reaffirmation ceremonies and I`ll list some at the end of this message. Also from what I`ve been told, you can wear whatever you want. For me personally, I think it depends on how formal your affair will be. I know people who have worn new gowns, people who have worn their old gown, and people who opted for something like a nice dress, even a bridesmaid or evening dress. I haven`t decided what I will wear, I`m leaning towards an informal gown. I also found out on different sites and from talking to various people that attendants are your choice too. Some couples use the attendants they had in their orginal wedding and others who didn`t decided to have some and others just included their children in the ceremony. Another good tip is to talk to an officant who has done many of these ceremonies, they can offer good suggestions and advice. By no means, you are not planning anything that is wrong!! Many people are doing this bc of many different reasons but ultimatly it`s bc it`s out of the love you and your husband share not just bc you didn`t have the wedding you wanted, your celebrating your marriage by pledging your love to one another all over again. Here are a few sites you may want to check out...
For invite wording lovetripper.com (click on vow renwals) and invitationcounsultants.com has many choices for wording your invites, weddingchannel.com has some good info., gettingremarried.com and foreverwed.com Also the bridal magizines have a lot of good info. I have found out a lot of other tips and ideas so if you want to know more feel free to email me. Kjeff2517@msn.com I hope all goes well for you, Krystal.

My husband and I were married by the mayor of our town in February of this year. My immediate family was present and it was VERY informal. We got married like that because of special circumstances, but wanted to plan another ceremony and reception within the same year.

I can`t say that I agree with one of the poster`s saying that you shouldn`t expect gifts, etc. Well why not? My husband and I are going to have a beautiful ceremony and a reception, we wanted to do it right this time with other family members and our friends present. We didn`t recieve any gifts from our first informal ceremony. Actually noone really even knew that we did it. The date that we are going to have our ceremony and reception doesn`t even fall on our anniversary date. I am wearing the dress of my dreams and doing the favors and all of that good stuff. Sooo, why shouldn`t we recieve gifts like any other kind of "traditional" wedding?

We will probably have a ceremony where we are just re-newing our vows. I plan on walking down the aisle by myself to meet my husband. My father will be present, but he was already present at our first ceremony, so he will not be walking me down the aisle, unless I change my mind.

Kimberly,

What did you decide to do?

Hubbie and I eloped to another city, and were married by the justice of the peace with a couple of witnesses 5/30/03. Our wedding had been postponed due to my hubbie being in TWO car accidents in 2001. That delayed our 2002 wedding, and moved it up to 2003. Well...in October 2002 we were rear-ended while in MY car!! We decided to elope before something else happened. I`m happy to say we`ve both recovered from all accidents, and have been accident free. We will be having a vow renewal next year and I am DEFINITELY wearing my gown. It will be a very intimate gathering of closest friends and family members. We plan to write our own vows. Tomorrow`s not promised to anyone, and you must do what makes YOU and your hubbie happy. The day will be YOURS to express your happiness however you wish. That`s all that matters. Good luck, and God bless.