Pot Luck Reception

Ultimately it is you and your future husband`s wedding, so i think that if you are both comfortable with the idea, then it is appropriate. What other people think about etiquette should stand second to your own comfort. Also, I am sure the members of your sinagogue will understand the situation and appreciate the invitation. Do make sure you have at least a rough idea of what everyone is bringing so you don`t fall short on food.
Congratulations and good luck!

(said by Adrienne) "What other people think about etiquette should stand second to your own comfort"

I`m sorry, but I could not disagree with this statement more. Etiquette is not about your own comfort. Etiquette is about making your invited guests comfortable. If potluck wedding receptions are the norm and acceptable in your area, then I see no reason why you shouldn`t do it. But if it`s unheard of in your area then you should seriously rethink your options.

I hate to rain on your parade, but asking them to bring food would be bad etiquette. Many guests spend a good amount of money just getting there. (buying something to wear, buying you a gift, buying you a shower gift, and either driving or flying to get there). In addition, who knows where they are rushing from to get to your wedding. (may come there straight from work). Asking them to stop and make food and bring is just too much. Also you would have to worry about trying to return everyone`s pans and trays to them afterward - what a nightmare!!! In addition, if any guests are driving long distances, are staying in hotels, or are flying that day, would not be able to bring a dish and may feel bad......so it just seems like a bad idea from every angle.

The best alternative is to do like Becky said and do your own catering, and recruit friends and family to be in charge of replenishing the trays as they empty. The other idea would be to have the wedding later at night and do just a desserts thing rather than a meal. Or you could be old-fashioned and return to the good old days where you just serve cake and punch.

Just be sure to write something in your invitations about what to expect so guests know to eat dinner before coming. On the reception cards or at the bottom of the invitation write something like "dinner and dessert following the ceremony"

Good luck!!!
Amy

If most of your guests are local, I think a potluck is a great way to cover expenses and break the ice, people who don`t know each other can talk about who brought the great food.

I would tell the guest who traveled in not to worry about bringing a dish, unless they want to. Most people have a prize recipe they love to bring.

If most of your guests are local, I think a potluck is a great way to cover expenses and break the ice, people who don`t know each other can talk about who brought the great food.

I would tell the guest who traveled in not to worry about bringing a dish, unless they want to. Most people have a prize recipe they love to bring.

I have to say that I firmly disagree with having a potluck wedding. You simply cannot expect your "guests" to bring food and a gift for you when you are the ones hosting the party. That is in very bad taste. If it is money that you are concerned about (which we all are) then you should be considering a smaller event, not a potluck.

It all depends on the tone of your wedding. If you want a formal wedding with lots of attendants and all that entails then you probably should go small vs potluck.

If you are having an informal wedding then go for it.

There may be an option that could cover both though,
Don`t call it a potluck on the invite. Just provide the main course, beverages and dessert and ask several friends in the synagog if they would bring a dish.

There are all ways going to be people who think everything they aren`t doing is tacky. However if you and your hubby to be want to include your congregation in your celebration you should be allowed to. Even if this means asking for help. It`s not about who pays for what and who had the best caterer and flowers. It`s about celebrating! Wether it`s with a four course dinner and a big band, buffet and DJ or potluck and those 3 guys who can play guitar & sing.

My sister had a potluck wedding. It went really well. We (bride and grooms family) did a lot of the food. We made salads and prawns, cabbage rolls, dinner rolls, beverages, etc. People who lived in town were invited to bring a dish but no gift (in leu of) (oh, and most brought a gift anyways). People who didn`t live in town were never even told that it was going to be a potluck (many found out and no one`s feelings were hurt or felt uncomfortable). I do not feel it is right to say on the invite that it is potluck though. Perhaps have the rabbi at your synagouge mention at the end of a service that anyone willing to help supply food please let the bride and groom know. Good luck

My fiance and I have been throwing around the idea of a potluck reception and I think we`re going to do it! It`s a second marriage for the both of us and we`re planning a family vacation vs. A honeymoon. That, on top of paying for our own wedding and reception this time around . . . Every little bit helps!! We want all of our close friends and family to attend and if we had to pay a caterer, then the invite list would drop down to about 10 people! I think if more economical things like this and honeymoon gift registries for example, were incorporated more often, then it would eventually become "acceptable" and wouldn`t be a question of etiquette. I honestly think unless your last name is "Trump", people know how expensive weddings can be, so it really isn`t a shock when things like this are mentioned. I am a stickler for manners and etiquette and such and potluck receptions are A-ok in my book! Not only because I am having one, but if tables were turned and I was invited to a wedding and asked to bring a side dish/salad, I would certainly understand and think it was a great idea!

My fiancee` and I are getting married in May of `08. We are only having our parents, siblings, and my childhood friend as guests to the ceremony. We won`t be having the reception until that following weekend (five days later.)

Seeing as my family is larger-than-normal (my mom was one of seven kids; my dad of 5; me of 5) and both my family and my husband-to-be`s families are very informal, we decided to go with a potluck reception where all of our family, friends, etc would be invited to. Since we are paying for everything on our own (no help from Mom`s or Dad`s here!) we vetoed the catering plan, and stuck with our family`s home cooking! How lucky are we to have such wonderful cooks in our family?

Anyone who has said it isn`t acceptable is OLD

Potluck weddings are totally ok! Just put on the invites to bring noms or $$ instead of gifts.

Anyone who as a guest would be insulted by this needs to realise that they didn`t need to get invited and it is NOT about them - its ONLY about the couple getting hitched!