My Fiance`s Twin Brother =satan
My fiance David and i are getting married in the near future, and we`ve worked hard making plans and whatnot. Everything is pretty good except his twin brother. David would think asking his brother to be his best man would be the natural thing to do. But i dont think its a good idea. David`s brother Andy is the biggest jerk on the planet, he will literally say or do anything to make ur feel bad about yourself if it is for his own benefit. He`s a self rightous egotistic jack-ass that for the 3 years ive been with david, has made me feel like crap everytime im around. He makes fun of his identical twin bro, and belittles him all the time, and whats sad, is he doesnt even think he`s hurting anyone. Its not so much the fact that he`s going to attend something so sacred and important to us, its the fact i dont want him opening his mouth and saying something to make me feel any less of myself or dave on one of the most perfect days of my life...ive considered asking david to reconsider his decision and thought about telling him i will remove my sister from my maid of honor position if he will reconsider his brother as his best man....am i being mean? or do i have the right to feel this way? i love my sister, and i cant even see myself telling her she cannot be my maid of honor. Im scared. I dont want Andy to ruin "our" day. If anyone has any ideas, i would totally apreciate any feedback...help.
Posted by Crystal; updated 05/30/03
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It`s your fiance`s decision as to who he wants for his best man. You don`t have to like his choice, but it needs to be HIS choice. My advice would be to grin and bear it.
Posted by Valerie; updated 05/30/03
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Hi,
I don`t think you are being mean. I also don`t think it`s fare for you to remove your sister unless she is as big of a jerk as David`s brother. You can very nicely ask David to remove his brother from the position. Just explain to him how you feel, etc.. Does David feel the same about his brother as you do?
Don`t forget it is YOUR wedding as much as it is David`s.
Good luck my dear and keep us posted.
Please read my post called "need advice" and let me know what you think.. I have a very similar question that I posted.
Regards,
Posted by Kristina; updated 05/30/03
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Well, he does feel threatened by his brother and his brutal attitude all the time. He feels very obsolete towards his brother. I also know that david would be very scared to tell his brother that he`s not welcome in that position. He`s worried most likely that his brother will shun him, and that he would have burnt a bridge. He tries to deal with his brothers cruel lifestyle and attitude basically because they were cracked outta the same mold, but i dont think its fair to take the risk in chancing disaster. Thanks for the advice hon...much appreciated. At least i know im not alone.
Posted by Crystal; updated 05/30/03
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I think he assumes he is...dave hasnt put a definate on him, just because im worried about the situation. I dont wanna look like a spoiled little brat and tell him that i dont want him to be in the wedding...frankly, if i had it my way, i wouldnt have him even attend but well, thats just my jealous side coming out. I know he will have to attend, but its the opening his mouth part during his speech that is making me really worried.
Posted by Crystal; updated 05/30/03
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Yes, i did reply to u....and honey...u did the right thing.
Posted by Crystal; updated 05/30/03
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Here`s a story and please take it for what its worth. My cousin so wanted to have her sister as her maid of honor. About a month before the wedding her finance had a falling out with the sister and DEMANDED that she be removed from the wedding as he was not speaking to her. My cousin did her fiance`s wishes. My other cousin was pulled out of the wedding. The marriage lasted 10 years, and the bride has many more in regret that she listened to her fiance and not her heart. Now she`s planning on remarrying and believe me she`ll have her sister by her side. The moral of the story, as it was her decision to make as to who to have as her attendant - she listened to her fiance. For years she felt deep resentment that she had. If your fiance really wants his brother in the wedding, let it be his decision. Don`t influence. But try to make him understand that whoever he choses it has to be someone that he wants from his own heart. Maybe with his heart; his brother isn`t really his final decision? But if it is... Let him have it. It`s his day too. Don`t talk him out of it and start your life together with a chance of regret.
Posted by Kim; updated 05/31/03
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I will consider that..thank u
Posted by crystal; updated 05/31/03
