How Much Is Too Much For A Wedding Registry?
Just out of curiosity, what do y`all think is excessive or greedy for a wedding registry? A family member is soon to be married and his future spouse -- who, for reasons too nu merous to list here, appears to be interested in nothing more than money and what she can gain from this wedding -- has registered at 4 different stores in town for an enormous amount of items, many of which are quite expensive. Five different types of Waterford crystal glasses (at $55-$60 a pop), with 12 requested of each kind. A $200 blender. Super-expensive bed linens. A ton of kitchenware and housewares that she will never use (she does not know how to cook). And on and on.
Also, two of these stores are the snootiest, most expensive places in town. One of them prominently displays local couples` registry selections (along with a card bearing the couple`s names and wedding date) in the front of the store.
This young woman already has had invitations sent out for showers, with all 4 registry locations printed on them. I find that to be a bit excessive and rude. Looks as if she`s expecting to get some serious loot (esp. Since the groom to be and most of his friends are financially comfortable -- not rich, but doing OK).
I understand that it may not be possible to find everything you need for your new home at one store, and that there are always a few expensive "wish" items on a registry list, but where should it end? I know that I shouldn`t care what someone else puts on their registry, but this family member is very important to me and I`m offended that his future spouse seems more interested in how many material possessions she can rack up than in this wonderful man she is lucky to be engaged to and about to marry.
Also, two of these stores are the snootiest, most expensive places in town. One of them prominently displays local couples` registry selections (along with a card bearing the couple`s names and wedding date) in the front of the store.
This young woman already has had invitations sent out for showers, with all 4 registry locations printed on them. I find that to be a bit excessive and rude. Looks as if she`s expecting to get some serious loot (esp. Since the groom to be and most of his friends are financially comfortable -- not rich, but doing OK).
I understand that it may not be possible to find everything you need for your new home at one store, and that there are always a few expensive "wish" items on a registry list, but where should it end? I know that I shouldn`t care what someone else puts on their registry, but this family member is very important to me and I`m offended that his future spouse seems more interested in how many material possessions she can rack up than in this wonderful man she is lucky to be engaged to and about to marry.
Posted by susanna; updated 05/22/03
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That seems a bit excessive to me, but she should probably get used to disappointment if she thinks she`s getting all or most of that stuff. I registered for a set of dishes, flatware, and some other pretty basic, inexpensive thing at 1 store and got very little of it for the wedding. We received alot of traditional gifts that we didn`t have on our registry (nice picture frames, crystal dishes, etc). They were great gifts, but I thought it was really interesting that we didn`t get much from our registry. We did get alot of cash gifts.
Posted by Kim R.; updated 05/22/03
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I`d have to agree with Kim R., this is a bit excessive. But you probably know, she`s not going to get all of that stuff! If she gets any of her crystal, it will probably be one glass at a time, or even a couple of people going in on one!
I was wondering about the greed factor myself when I was registering for our wedding. I ended up registering at only one store, and I did put a couple of higher ticket items on there (and by higher ticket, I mean $100+), but for the most part they are $20 - $60. While I would have liked to add that $200 food processor, a) I thought it would make me look very greedy, and b) I didn`t think I`d get it from anyone anyhow.
The things I did register for, they`re like yours Kim, just basic stuff - a set of glasses, flatware, things like that. I don`t really expect too much of my guests. I`m inviting them because I want them there, not with visions of loot. My dreams are small - like being able to eat from dishes and silverware that aren`t plastic, and actually matches! :)
K
I was wondering about the greed factor myself when I was registering for our wedding. I ended up registering at only one store, and I did put a couple of higher ticket items on there (and by higher ticket, I mean $100+), but for the most part they are $20 - $60. While I would have liked to add that $200 food processor, a) I thought it would make me look very greedy, and b) I didn`t think I`d get it from anyone anyhow.
The things I did register for, they`re like yours Kim, just basic stuff - a set of glasses, flatware, things like that. I don`t really expect too much of my guests. I`m inviting them because I want them there, not with visions of loot. My dreams are small - like being able to eat from dishes and silverware that aren`t plastic, and actually matches! :)
K
Posted by Kimberly; updated 05/22/03
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Really, when you register they recommend you pick all price ranges. They also say put dream items on it as you never know what could happen. I have a friend who registered for fine china and stemware. Her china was $115.00 a place setting and she asked for 10.She ended up getting 8 of them. She then bought the last 2 herself. Her family always had a china cabinet with china her Mom got as a wedding gift. This was big in the 60`s etc. And it is important to her. I say if she wants it let her ask for it. Her grandmother and aunts bought them for her. That is not my taste , but it is hers. So I say go for it. She also had a bunch of kitchen gadets and inexpensive kitchen towels etc, that I bought and made a nice basket. I spent about $60.00, which is my average but some of the things in it were only a few dollars. So I don`t think she is being greedy you can choose whatever price range you want to spend. As long as they don`t start asking for CASH I think it is totally acceptable to register for what you want just make sure that there is a price range for everyone. Also just because she is registered don`t mean you have to purchase anything from it. Go out and buy something else if you feel better about it.
Posted by Jemmy; updated 05/22/03
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Maybe several guests could go together on one large gift. Recently 3 couples purchased a BBQ for a gift and no the bride and groom didn`t ask for it.
Posted by Cheryl; updated 06/10/03
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I would think you could put a few items over the $100 mark on your registry because there are often a few family members who are very close to the bride or groom and want to give them something really nice that they know they wouldn`t be able to afford on their own. However, those should be few, because the people willing to buy those things will also be few. Supposedly you should take the total number of guests and multiply it by two and that`s how many presents should be on your registry....I would assume that about 60% of those gifts you register for should fall between the $20-$60 dollar range, which is a reasonable gift, and then a few things below that and a few above.
If you can`t afford anything on their registry then just give them the cash, or if you hate that, then just buy them a gift certificate to the store they are registered at. Then if they really want those pricey items, they can add their own money to your contribution and get what it is that they want.
If the crystal they register for is expensive, don`t feel bad about buying them just one glass. No one says if you buy one you have have to buy the whole darn set....that`s where the other guests come in.
If you feel like they`re being jerks, who says you have to go to the wedding at all? problem solved!! Or just buy them something somewhere else that they didn`t register for.....that`ll teach `em not to offer more options!!!
If you can`t afford anything on their registry then just give them the cash, or if you hate that, then just buy them a gift certificate to the store they are registered at. Then if they really want those pricey items, they can add their own money to your contribution and get what it is that they want.
If the crystal they register for is expensive, don`t feel bad about buying them just one glass. No one says if you buy one you have have to buy the whole darn set....that`s where the other guests come in.
If you feel like they`re being jerks, who says you have to go to the wedding at all? problem solved!! Or just buy them something somewhere else that they didn`t register for.....that`ll teach `em not to offer more options!!!
Posted by Amy; updated 06/19/03
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If you don`t ask for what you want you`ll never get it.
And if you by a $20 blender you`ll be replacing it before long.
I don`t make much money, but I do spend it wisely. And buying cheap gifts from Target is not wise. If a couple doesn`t register for quality things their guests are just throwing money away.
It sounds more like you have issues with the type of girl this bride is than what she registered for. From your description she is a lazy snob who can`t cook and is marrying for money. If you are right, don`t complain about the gifts she wants- warn the groom.
And if you by a $20 blender you`ll be replacing it before long.
I don`t make much money, but I do spend it wisely. And buying cheap gifts from Target is not wise. If a couple doesn`t register for quality things their guests are just throwing money away.
It sounds more like you have issues with the type of girl this bride is than what she registered for. From your description she is a lazy snob who can`t cook and is marrying for money. If you are right, don`t complain about the gifts she wants- warn the groom.
Posted by Jewel; updated 06/20/03
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Hey-
Just an FYI, some stores give a discount on items on a registry that people don`t receive. And, it can sometimes be 20-30%. Alot of couples put extra items and expensive ones that they don`t intend to receive, but that they would like to get for themselves at a discount later!
Just an FYI, some stores give a discount on items on a registry that people don`t receive. And, it can sometimes be 20-30%. Alot of couples put extra items and expensive ones that they don`t intend to receive, but that they would like to get for themselves at a discount later!
Posted by chris; updated 08/15/03
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I think that 4 different places to register is a bit much. We are registering at 2 different places (both chain stores so people can get to it from their own cities without having to go out of town). We are keeping our list fairly small with items ranging from 15-20 and all the way up to 150. I look at if we get some items on our wish list, great, but if we don`t, it won`t break my heart. I`m just going to be glad that people come to share our special day. I think the bride to be (original message) needs to learn that.
Posted by Sarah; updated 08/15/03
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I think this article is complete BS. My husband and I registered last year at one store and didnt put it on our invitations. Because that is tacky to do that. I never registered for more than one Waterford Crystal vase and received 5 Waterford items..even though I registered for one. Register wherever you want just dont put where you registered on your invatations..because that is completly tacky and that is not good etiquette no matter what wedding guide you read. Perhaps the girl was also receiving cooking lessons as a gift from her mother-in-law..I did as a gift and now I know how to use every one of my items. If you want a Waterford crystal vase register for it..dosent mean your gonna get it..but it is nice if you do. I dont believe in this budget calculator either..I will get the bride and groom a present that I can afford..I am not going to do some tacky formula to figure out how much I need to spend on a friend. I figure she gave me a bridal luncheon gift last year and no wedding gift..so she will get one or the other. No worries! I can`t believe a budget calculator even exists that is the tackiest and rudest thing you could ever send to a guest for your wedding.
Posted by Jenny; updated 03/09/04
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Its fine to register at 4 different stores. That way, people can choose which store they want to buy a gift from. Also, some stores dont always have every single registry item in stock. She can register for stuff, but that doesn`t mean she will get all of it. It does sound kind of greedy, but people will only buy what they can afford, you know? (Anyway, I think its classier to register at several stores, than ask people for cash)
Posted by Missy; updated 03/10/04
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I just set up the registry for my upcoming wedding and I was a bit worried myslef that some of the items were very pricey. I think the most important thing is to have items in all price ranges. The guest will not likely spend more than they are comfortable with just because the items on the registry are expensive. Picking out too many high end items will probably leave you very dissappointed when you end up with a bunch of presents not from your registry that you don`t know how to return. I wouldn`t be afraid to put lots of things on a registry so people can have options.
Posted by Liza; updated 03/10/04
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I had a friend once who registered for a bunch of expensive china and silverware. She got most of the china, some for the shower, some for the actual wedding, but most from family members at Christmas and her birthday (for a couple years following the wedding). The one thing she did get at the wedding was the chest to hold the silver she registered for. Too bad she didn`t get one piece of silver though! Her problem was that her registry items did not fit the average income bracket of her guests. You HAVE to take that into account, and like most people posted have a selection of all price ranges. As far as registering at different stores, you really only need to register at 3 tops, in my opinion: an everyday place like LNT or Bed, Bath and & Beyond; a quirky place like Target, REI, or Pier 1; and, if fine china/crystal is desired, a fancier store. Personally, I left out the fancy store and just registered at two places. I found them more than adequate for our needs and the convenience of guests, what with the internet and everything.
Posted by Beth; updated 02/28/06
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