I Need A Little Advice
I am having a problem, some may think its small but for me its a huge problem, the thing is a year and a half ago i moved out of my familys house in Ithaca, NY and moved in with my now fiancee in New York City (5 and a half hours away) the Problem is that we set our wedding date for June of next year, but when i told my family in Ithaca that i was getting married, the first thing that came out of my father`s and my uncle`s mouth * My favorite uncle at that!* was that they were not going to come to the city! .. I can`t ask my fiancee`s family to travel for 5 and a 1/2 hours. I just dont know what to do, any suggestions would help. Thank you for your time
Posted by Heidi Lyn; updated 04/26/03
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Maybe you can meet somewheres in the middle
Sid
Posted by sid; updated 04/26/03
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What do your mom and aunt say? If your wedding is a year away maybe they have time to sway the men`s opinions. Is there a reason they would not want to come - ie money being tight? Although, I always thought that traditionally the wedding took place in the bride`s home town, it is your wedding and you should have it where you want. Also, I wonder why is it okay for your family to travel that far to NYC but not his family to Ithaca?
Posted by Fries9130; updated 04/30/03
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What do your mom and aunt say? If your wedding is a year away maybe they have time to sway the men`s opinions. Is there a reason they would not want to come - ie money being tight? I always thought that traditionally the wedding took place in the bride`s home town, but it is your wedding and you should have it where you want. Is your dad paying for it? Maybe that would be a reason he would want to have it at home. Also, I wonder why is it okay for your family to travel that far to NYC but not his family to Ithaca?
Posted by Fries9130; updated 04/30/03
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Well, my mom could care less, i havent seen her in 5 + years.. Long story, and my uncle is single.. And My fiancee is handicapped.. And i dunno how we WOULD get to ithaca.. And i love it here, but i did talk to my grandma and she is going to try to talk my father and uncle into coming.. But still the thing that makes me upset is that fact that they didnt even congratulate me, all they said was "we`re not going to the city" - how is that supposed to make a daughter feel?
~*~*Heidi Lyn*~*~
Posted by Heidi Lyn; updated 04/30/03
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HI...I`m wondering if things have settled down since you posted your message?
I know it must be hard for you...I am running into a similar situation. Family can be so self centered sometimes. Just remember this is YOUR wedding and you can do with it what you wish!! If your family chooses to be there, then so be it...if not, so be it! You can`t please everybody. If your family can`t understand where you are coming from and your situation than they don`t deserve to spend your wonderful day with you!
Do what you want with my advice. It may sound harsh, but it is the only conclusion I have come to with my situation.
Good Luck!
Posted by Kerri; updated 05/02/03
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Heidi, I`m a photographer and I`ve seen a lot. One thing that I always seem to see is that once the wedding day comes, everybody behaves themselves! I was at a wedding where the father and mother (divorced) had not spoken in over 10 years! and yet they were not only cordial they spoke to each other!
Your father will come, as will your uncle. I think they will give you grief about it in the interim and they sould be ashamed of themselves, but really is your father not going to show up when you ask him to escort you down the aisle? will your Uncle not show after you ask him to be an usher???
If it really is the case that they won`t come to NYC to support you on your WEDDING DAY, how will you really feel about moving it to Ithaca? Have they told you that all they want for you is happiness? Then supporting your wedding decisions will help ensure that.
Stick to your guns. This wedding is about the two of you! Be happy.
Zim
Http://www.zimphotography.com/wedding/wedinfo/WeddingIndex.html
Posted by zim; updated 05/02/03
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I think the situation is very similar to many of my brides. FAMILY is always an issue when it comes to weddings. One of my most recent ones was a bride did not want her biological father to escort her, but wanted her step-father, because he`s been there for the most part of her life. So the biological professed that he`s not coming down to TN and so forth and so forth. Well to make a long story shor, they made arrangements where both men could escort her, they were happy she was happy and mentioned that she never could have imagined not having it done any other way. Her mom and father even spoke and carried a conversation wiht one another. So go with your heart, they are being difficult in the beginning, but they will come to their senses shortly and will be in attendence in your wedding "in the city". It`s your wedding, be happy and enjoy everyday of your new life together.
Posted by Tamikia; updated 05/02/03
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Well heres an update for everyone, i just spoke to my uncle about 20 minutes ago through aol instant messager, and he said that he never said he wasnt going to come (even though he did! ) and he said he`d come even if he has to take the bus, and as for my dad if my uncle drives than my father will most likely hitch a ride with him :) iam happy now, and thank you everyone for your advice!
~*~*Heidi Lyn*~*~
Posted by Heidi Lyn; updated 05/02/03
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That`s silly, this is your day, they need to focus attention towards you and away from themselves on this day which is yours. My in-laws are coming to los angeles all they way from new york!
Posted by sandra; updated 05/20/03
