Problem With Bridesmaid- Help!

First breathe.. I see your point of being upset but lets look at things from her end, it is difficult seperating yourself from your boyfriend. If someone said you couldn`t bring your boyfriend somewhere you`d be upset too...I can understand her surprise and anger at the thought of him not being able to go. I think she should have put her foot down with HIM long before you got wind of it though and she should understand that you don`t need someone there that is mean to you. I also understand her frustration with the Sunday wedding. Not that it makes it right but she does bring up good points to you. I`m currently dealing with the same issue where the wedding is on a Sunday and we are driving from out of state, most of the grooms family is from out of town and it is during that time that kids will be in school. I realize that things are already booked for you. But as your bridesmaid she is to help with the planning and getting you to open your eyes at some good and bad points is your job. So thank her for her concern...she is only looking out for the best of your wedding day and your guests...everyone will have to take off work, depending on when your wedding is kids may have to miss school so people may just choose to not come rather than do all of that. She just doesn`t want you to be upset when that happens...which it probably will.

I think you too are due for a little girl time. Swallow your pride and ask her to lunch, discuss the fact that you feelings have been hurt by the boyfriend and that you feel that she isn`t very supportive. Listen to her and make sure she listens to you. My guess is that there is more to the story and maybe this will help.

If it doesn`t get any better then .then tell her that you don`t need the extra stress for you wedding day and tell her that if she decides to come to the wedding then you will find something for her to do but that you are relieving her of her bridesmaid duties and that you will miss her if she doesn`t come. Then let it go, you may loose a friend but maybe she`s not a friend anyways.

I hope this helps.

After being in so many wedding I have come to realize that girls can be very evil and selfish and that is why I am keeping my bridesmaids to family. This way my friends can go to the wedding with their dates and have a good time without the hassel and heartache of being a bridesmaids. Blood is always thicker then water, remember that. Your future husband is going to be your blood and this girlfriend of yours is not. Sounds to me that she is very jealous of your wedding and is doing everything in her power to show it. How long as she been w/her boyfriend? Years? Then she is jealous.... Not so long, then she is no friend of yours taking his side and not yours. Would you stand for someone who talks about your friends behind their back? Then why is she allowing him to talk about you? I would tell her that after thinking about it, you`ve decided that it would be best that she not be in your wedding and that because it is your day you are picking the guest and he is not one of them, therefore it will be her choice to show up or not.

Weddings bring out so many positive and negative emotions however I don`t feel that these people seem to be honoring you or your future husband. Is this someone you really want to stand up for you? After the wedding day it will be just you and your wonderful husband. Your bridesmaid won`t be living with you. You must stand with your future husband.
I don`t want to come across like this is easy or you haven`t thought of it already. Just moral support.

Planning a wedding is stressful enough ( trust me I know that is waht I am doing) this is a time when you need supportive people the most not ones that will bring you down. I am sorry but this is YOUR WEDDING you have the right to choose who can come and not come. Your "friend" should understand that. If she is going back and forth between being in or out, GET HER OUT NOW!!!!!!!!! That way on your wedding day it won`t be one of he, NOT days.

Good luck and enjoy the day!!!!!!!!!

If you really don`t want him there then dont` have him there. But if you really want your friend to be there then you have to think if seeing his face for a few hours is really going to kill you. You`re going to be too busy anyway to worry about him even being there.

Dump her. You don`t need the added stress. You both have valid points, but it`s nothing to get hot and bothered about. You have enough to worry about. Get rid of her and lessen your stress.

If you cant think for yourself to resolve this, how are you going to handle anything bigger later on

Tim~ This is a board about advise and if all you have is comment like that, why even bother to post a reply. I wanted other peoples oppinions so I don`t think back that I was over reacting. To give you information I have been dealing with her boyfriend for 2 years and I have been friends with her for 12. My fiance will tell him he is unwelcome at our wedding if he shows up and I am trying to prevent more of an issue from occuring. I did tell her that it would be best due to all the feelings between us it is best if she was not in the bridal party. Our friendship hasn`t changed at all since. We both understand were the other is coming from. I just want to thank everyone but Tim for their thoughts and support!