Wedding Shower Blues

I don`t know of any written etiquette but she seems rude. I know that I would appreciate whatever my fiance`s family did for me. When it comes to guests there are certian people I know I would want there, but if his family had certain people they wanted to include that would be up to them I would think. Maybe she was nervous as for the thank you`s but if you don`t receive a nice thank you note after the fact, I would wonder about her. Just my opinion. I am sorry to hear you didn`t have a good time.

Now one thing that you didnt` mention is your relationship with her. I did not get along with my in-laws and they gave me a shower. What I did was thank everyone, send the thank you cards, and if I had a big problem with my future in-laws I would discuss it with my husband after the fact. One has nothing to do with the other. You were doing a nice gesture for her. Although if she gives you a list of guests it would be nice for her friends an family to be there, unless you know that they are giving her one too, then it`s not necessary to invite them. Also if you did not plan on spending as much and she definitely wants her guests to be there, then she should offer to pay for those guests that she wants their.
If there is someone that she reallly doesn`t want there then you should respect that. So long as she understands that specific guests can still get invited to the wedding. I mean the shower is for her. So if someone doesn`t get a long with her, then they don`t have the need to be there. Unless if the guest is the grooms family member.