SHOWER ETIQUETTE-Sorry For The Book!

I need some advice. My mother and soon-to-be mother in-law are hosting a shower for us. My fiance`s mother wants a jack and jill plus kids of the family that won`t attend the adult-only wedding. She also feels we should not open our gifts there, that we shouldn`t register (we should just take the money instead), and hired the dj we are using for our wedding to entertain everyone coming without asking me. I don`t mind the lavishness of the jack and jill but i just think everything else is not right. I would like to open gifts and register the traditional way (plus its fun for a new couple!) and with the dj...it feels more like a mini-wedding and I definately don`t want that. My mother-in law says I can have the wedding my way but let her handle the shower. I don`t know what to do! I`m a very simple person, I like tradition, and this isn`t me and I`m not sure how to go about it...please give advice! Thank you!