NAME CHANGE AFTER DIVORCE

No, there is nothing you can do. A legal name change, such as upon marriage, is an unconditional change, not one that is contingent on the marriage lasting. It really is hard to imagine anyone wanting to be called by a name that has such negative associations. As I said earlier, all the women I know who don`t change their names after divorce just want to have the same name as their kids (which is why thought should go into their last names, too).
I`m sure your situation is irritating, but legally, nothing you can do.
Junie, jd

Correct, there is nothing you can do. I kept my exes name for 13 years before I decided to change it. What make me keep his last name was to be the same as my daughters.

I`m currently in the same situation, where the ex won`t take back her maiden name. I don`t care so much about my husband`s and her past together. I`m concerned if she can ever use his last name and commit some type of fraud or get some kind of benefits in the long run. Does anyone know? Could she still mess up his credit as well? because that`s just the type of person she is, she has a history of it.

You`ve answered all my questions - I`m keeping my married name, thanks!! I`ve been separated for 3 years and am now getting divorced. I say I keep it for my children but the real reason is that I`ve had the name for almost half my life and can`t imagine being called anything else. It often reminds me of happy times and gives me hope that I`ll feel that way again.

Jennifer, No there is not a thing you can do to force someone to change their name.

I am appalled at the nerve of some of the women on this board who think they have any right whatsoever to tell a person what last name they can use.

I hope you all go ahead and try to force those exes to change their last names. You`ll be laughed out of the court room.

FYI - for anyone considering keeping their name or a hyphenated name for their kids...
After my divorce I took back my maiden name. It was wonderful, but hard having a different name then my kids. I changed the girls` last name it so that their last name is mine hyphenated with their father`s. I wish I had done it when they were born. They are very happy sharing both names, and I don`t have to use my ex-husband`s to feel like a family.
My experience: I wish I had never changed my name. I love having my own name and glad my kids now have my name, too.
Advice: Stop worrying about the ex-wives` names and worry about why they are divorced from your fiances! You should ask the ex-wife, not just your guy and his friends to get the whole picture. My ex was divorced before he met me and i thought his ex wife was someone to be jealous of, so I never spoke to her. I only found out after we divorced why she divorced him and why I should never have married him! More info is always better - you can judge for yourself what is important. Don`t bury your head in the sand b/c you want to believe whatever he tells you! Its your life and your name to choose. :)

Junie B

Wow, i was in this same situation...except my husbands ex had a child with another last name, and then got remarried to a different man and finally changed her name. 6 months later they had an annulment, and she was able to get my hubbys name back!!! that was upsetting to me. Now she is remarried again (3rd time) and has again changed her name, and is again having another child with another last name. But if they get a divorce, is she requests to go back to my hubbys name she can. Dont ask me why she would want to, but she did it before:( i just hope they dont get divorced!

Alright...how about this one...my husband`s ex-wife changed her last name when she remarried...now she`s getting divorced from her second husband and wants to take back my husband`s last name....what is proper protocol for that one?

The only way that I know of changing the name would be for her to get re-married or get a court ordered judgement saying that she doesn`t want his last name. I got mine changed back to my maiden name through the judge granting it. I put in for a change of name. Don`t let it bother you, it`s only a name, it;s not like they have joint bank accounts or other inappropraite things keeping them attached, right? I know several women who kept their ex`s last names,sometimes it`s easier than going through the hassle and wasting money in the courts. Besides who has him know, you. The fact is ,they were once married, that doesn`t change anything; now they are divorced but the past is always going to be the past. Even if her last name changes it won`t erase the marriage so don`t sweat it.

I want to change my name back to my maiden name. How do I do this in the state of Indiana? My kids are older now and I want this unique part of who I am, my name, to be associated with me. If anyone has an answer please let me know.

Ok I completely understand. I`ve been married to a wonderful man for 3 yrs. And his ex-wife still has his name and they DON`T have any kids together. So there`s no reason for her to still have his name. The thing I don`t get, is that when he filed the divorce papers, SHE checked the box to change back to her maiden name. It`s still the same?! (and I don`t need to ask her why they got a divorce, that was a very rude thing to post)!

To the woman in Indiana:
You can change your name without a lawyer for about $100. You must fill out some forms and put a notice in the newspaper (in case there are creditors who need to know you are changinging your name). You can get everything you need at the link below. If you can`t open it, just google "Indiana name change"

Good luck!!
Junie, JD

Http://www.in.gov/judiciary/selfservice/forms/name_change.html

Please Help!
When I got divorced not that long ago, I kept my ex-husbands last name so that my 2 year old and I would have the same last name. Now, I want to know if I can change my last name to (ex`s name-my maiden name). Has anyone else done that or know someone who has? I want to be able to use my maiden name mostly, but still be able to add in my ex husbands name with anything that may apply to my daughter. I hear good and bad things about hyphenating a name. Any Advice would be helpful!!!

My husband`s ex kept her maiden name after marriage to him and they divorced 7 years ago. They have one child of 12. I married my husband 3 three years ago and took his name. This year, we found out by accident that she has suddenly started to use her ex`s name - completely out of the blue. First she lied about is but subsequently admitted that she preferred to use the name and there is nothing we can to about is. Am i stupid to feel hurt? my husband is also extremely unhappy but we both feel helpless.

To Lisa and all the others that like to live in the past, do you remember why you chose to change your maiden name to your married name in the first place? What exactly are you hanging on to now that you are divorced? I would think the name you grew up with would mean more to you that the name you assumed after you married someone you are no longer with. Identity crisis? I can see maybe if you share children, but believe it or not, people are clever enough to remember if you are the mom of children with a different last name than yours. What do you think happens all over the world where women don`t change their name in the first place? You are not empowering yourselves at all and honestly you just look like losers who won`t let go and get on with the rest of your lives. So sad. Shame on you.

Hi, I am in the process of divorce and cannot wait to change my name back to my maiden name. I also would like to have my children`s name hyphenated. How do I do that? Do I need their dads permission? I wish I would`ve done it when they were born.

Desiree,
You can include taking back you maiden name as part of your divorce decree. In fact you should do this, because it saves you having to go to court a second time. Second, to change your kids` names, your ex has to agree. Then you can file for a formal name change for them to the hyphenated name. Its not a big deal. If he does not agree, you will need to file a motion in court, as i did. The courts look favorably on hyphenated names and either your ex will agree when he sees you will prevail anyhow, or you will have a hearing and likely prevail, too.
Good luck!!

Here`s to simplifying the divorce name-change process! www.GetYourNameBack.com

Jo,

Believe it or not, changing a name can be a huge hassle, especially for a woman who has been known professionally, legally, and socially by her married name for many years. It is a divorcing woman`s option whether or not to change her name and just because one might choose not to do so doesn`t mean she is hanging on to her failed marriage or her ex-husband. She likely hasn`t given either of you a second thought.

It seems to me that the losers here are the jealous and petty fiances who can`t seem to accept that they aren`t the first wife. Get over it already.

I personally think that both sides make great points. I am on the verge of marrying my fiance who is divorced and his ex still carries the name. She has the right to change it back but honestly she hasnt. I dont know if she is to lazy to(it is a hassle) or is doing it because of her kids or to just be down right spitful. I do not think that she should keep his last name just because their relationship was built up on false pretences and personally I would want my last name back. She is no longer a part of that last name physically. But like one of the ladies said its not like people wont know their your kids(if that is indeed her excuse). I think that once divorced its not right to keep the last name unless you have a REAL HISTORY with it. They were only married a couple of years. But i think everyone will make their own decisions no matter how we want them to. Either way im going to marry my fiance and be happy so there is no hurt on my end. I admitt at first i was upset but Im over it because Im with him not her and if holding on to his last name makes her think shes doing something then more power to her.