Interracial Wedding

Dear Cassie:

How are you? Yes, I think that you are being unreasonable. What is more important your daughter`s happiness or your own personal pride? Don`t be scared. They and their children will be socially accepted. If you look around there are more interraccial marriages occur, and it is not about the pigmentation of someone`s skin it`s about the heart and the bond that those two individual`s share.

Reconsider, because your presence will mean alot to her, but you not being there will set a precedent that you will not be apart of their lives. I think that if you are asking the question, you are having doubts. Go and show your support of the union and love them.

I have to say that I totally agree with the above post. You are being unreasonable and selfish. Your daughter will be your daughter no matter what. No matter who she dates, no matter where she ends up. Support your daughter, it doesn`t matter if YOU agree with what she does.

My father is 60 years old and married a 24 year old Philippino girl last year. He found her online and ask her to marry him the first time they met, might I add that he FLEW to the Phillipines to do so. I didn`t agree with it, I still have doubts and at first, I refused to talk to him about it. I refused to meet her when she got here. As soon as I met her, I accepted to be the Maid of Honor. She is wonderful to my dad and he is happy.

Go support that daughter of yours!

It`s sad that in 2006 we still even need to talk about this. It seems that the only person with a problem is you and you are trying to pretend that you are concerned what others will say and do to your daughter and grandchildren.

If you were that concerned you would be the first person at the church and the most supportive not matter if they have problems or not.

The more you behave this way the more likely it is you will push your daughter way. It`s sad you can`t see that at your age.

You are right to worry but what you are worrying about is the wrong reason to worry. I love my family no matter whom they marry. 12 years ago my cousin married a wonderful black man and they have 3 beautiful children who are accepted by society. One however will die very soon. She needs to have a bone marrow transplant and none of us could give it to her. Not his family and not my family. We worry about their children for different reasons. You are worried about society and right now, I am scared that when she asks us why she is dying and why we can`t help, what our answers will have to be. Love does not know skin color, it is just there. We are only black or white here in America. I went to France with my boyfriend and we were Americans. Didn`t matter that I am white and he is Puerto Rican, they didn`t call my sisters husband black, we were all called Americans. When you get over your racist attitude (and that is exactly what that is) you will see that there are far more important things to worry about. I don`t think you are worried about what society will feel, I believe that you are worried about what your friends will feel about you and your daughter. Get over yourself or you will lose out on your daughters happiness and your grandchildren. YOU WILL LOSE OUT! Have a wonderful evening.

I know that i am replying to this post a little later on, but I am going to say what I have to say. This affects me in two ways really. I am a biracial child, and even though there were some people who did not accept me, the majority of my peers were ok with that. They did not care if I was biracial, the liked me for the person that I am. The other reason why this effects me is that I am dating a white guy. His parents are like you, they will not be attending our wedding. The only thing that I have to say about that is that is something that they are going to miss out on. He tells me that he loves me and that if they do not want to come, that is their problem. That will not keep him from loving me. So, as it stands they are still not coming, but they have about 11 months to change there mind. Face it lady, there are more interracial couples in the world. All, I can say is if a person makes you happy it should not matter what their skin color is.

I am posting a little late, but I wanted to say Yes you are being unreasonable. It is really sad that in this day and time race is still an issue when it comes to love. What I find sad is most of the time we attribute interracial marriages to black and white. Lucille Ball was White and Desi Arnaz was cuban, that was in interracial marriag, but people were more accepting of their union. If a white and a hispanic, asian, etc. Marry it is not pegged as an interracial union as much as black and white. As long as you are a part of the human race, to me no marriage is interracial.

You should be there, and realize that times have changed. Some people still live in the past, but there are more and more mixed couples now than ever before. I am married to a black man, I am white. Our children are gorgeous and have no issues with their race. They are molato and happy to be. My family dis-owned me 12 years ago because he was black, but after 2 years of never hearing from me or seeing my children, they began to realize they were missing out on something. Now, my father who HATED black people, now adores his grandchildren more than anything once he realized, they are no different than if their father was white. They are still fun, loving, beautiful and happy. My Grandmother hated me so much for years, now finally got it together and even has a new best friend who is a black woman. Also, I must say, my Grnadfather was my idol. I was his shining star. When I met a black man, he dis-owned me. He sadly suffered a bad heartattack and was on life support. Not seeing him for years, I flew down to see him one last time. I left my half black daughter (2 yrs old) at home so I wouldn`t upset the family for disrespecting him by bringing her there. Well, in the end, I wish I had brought her, because by some miracle he came out of it, and was walking around the following morning after I stayed up holding his hand all night in the hospital room. When he woke and they unhooked him from the machines, he said "where`s my great grandaughter?" In dis-belief and shoked by the mere question coming from him I said "she`s in Alaska with her dad" he said "Why didn`t you bring her? Aren`t you moving here? I want to know my great granddaughter." I sadly had to tell him I was returning to Alaska the following day. When I left, 2 days after returning home I got a call that he died. He never got to meet his Great Grandaughter because he let the color of my husbands skin, stand in his way. To this day, 10 years later, I am saddened and regret so much that he didn`t get to see her before he died. It is heavy on my heart. But relief did come from knowing that he was finally at peace with the human race and the differences we have.
So, I beg you to take my families lesson and experiences to your heart and put your best self forward and go to your daughters wedding. She will be much happier to know she has your blessing. We are all the same under the tone of our skin. We all love the same, feel the same and hurt the same. If you let this moment pass you by, you can never turn back time to get it back. Please, please, look passed the color of his skin, and look into the man that he is. Maybe then, you can see what it is that made your daughter fall in love with him, and then, you will be pleased at her choice, because remember, this is the beginning of her family, and by joining hands with a man of a different color, she will be making your families color palet much more beautiful. Good luck and God Bless You!