My Fiance Says No To Friends..HELP:(

No i doesnt matter...........what matters is that that is a special day symbolizing your love for each other........it is suppost to be a day when people who are close to you share with you....the pictures will be something that you will look back on when you are like 70 and wrinkly, and you wont be thrilled when you see that the important people werent a part of your very special day just because they were too short.....

Let him know that you want this to be a special day for the both of you and having your close friends by your side is a must. If that doesn`t work, tell him to pick shorter Groomsmen or get over it. Sorry to be so harsh! Remember, this is your day too and take a stand when it counts.

He seems to be a little insensitive, in my opinion. Its your day TOO, and your friends should not have to be judged my their height. Maybe you could ask them to wear high heels for the wedding, and change into more comfy ones after the ceremony.

If it were me, I`d be rethinking having a wedding at all. What a control freak you`re marrying.

I am sorry but I have to agree with Sharon. A wedding is about being around the people you love, not what looks the best. I am sorry, but he is being superficial. I have 5 bridesmaids, some short some tall, some skinny and fat, I didn`t even take into appearance what they look like on the outside, he needs to do the same.

I have to agree with everyone else. This day is your day TOO and everything about that day should reflect YOU & YOUR FIANCEE. This includes the colors, the decorations, even the "wedding theme" if you have one. Sit down and talk to him and ask him why he chose the groomsmen he chose and let him know that your 3 girlfriends are equally important to you and you want them in your wedding party. GOOD LUCK

Don`t let him control YOUR decisions. The wedding is about the 2 of you, but some decisions are yours and only yours. Height, wieght, age, and any other classification should have nothing to do with who you want in your wedding. It is about having the people you feel closest to that you want to be by your side on the most important day of your life! So just tell him to deal with his groomsmen and leave the ladies up to you. I just really really hope you don`t give into him!!! You will regret it!!!

Girl, you are heading for a world of trouble. I am a guy, and I am getting married in may. I don`t know who is going to be in my fiances bridesmaid party, and it is frankly none of my bussiness. He has the right to ask for someone to be in it , like a younger sister or something, but not to demand you "pick people at random".

Tell him to randomly pick people for his groomsmen and see how he reacts. This guy definitely has serious mental and or emotional problems. I would suggest you dump this dude in a hurry and find a real man.

Signed "real man dan" in KY

Even though the day is for both of you, the BRIDE is the decision maker, especially regarding her own attendants. I think it is very arrogant and enormously insensitive of your groom to base your decisions on the height of his friends! Surely he can see how important this is too you. Basing the decision on height and looks is extremely vain & self-centred of him.
I would try to explain to him how important this is to you, and if he doesn`t even try to comprise, I would be seriously reassessing your engagement.

I have to agree that this guy is being irrational to ask you to choose attendants based on height. Sorry, that`s just silly. And you`re also right that the bride should be able to choose her own attendants, just as the groom should be able to choose who stands with him.

But the idea of ALL decisions being solely the bride`s, that`s pretty silly too, at least in my relationship. My fiancé is as much a part of this as I am, and my decisions don`t take precedence over his. The only other thing he doesn`t get a say in is my gown, as he`s not going to see it until I`m headed down to aisle to him.

Just my two cents worth. :)

K

THINK OF IT THIS WAY.. THESE ARE YOUR BEST LADIES!!! NOT HIS, HE ALREADY PICKED WHO HE WANTEDON HIS SIDE AND IT ISNT FAIR FOR HIM TO PICK YOUR SIDE.
AND SHORTNESS IS JUST A EXCUSE,OR THE ONLY EXCUSE HE CAN THINK OF, FOR NOT WANTING SOME ONE HE DONT LIKE IN THE WEDDING. TELL YOUR "SOON TO BE FIANCEE`" YOUR LADIES WILL WEAR HEELS.( I PERSONALLY CANT WALK IN HEEL IN LESS THERE WIDE KIND)
HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT.

Let`s see if I have this correct, you`re getting married, best time of your life right? And you`re arguing about the girl`s heights. It doesn`t matter. Why doenst`he change his friends then. You shoudl both be able to chose whoever your wish. WHy would youwant to be with someone who yells like that at you anyway, especially over something so silly.

I would seriously rethink this marriage before it`s too late. This guy is already trying to control issues in your life that should be of no concern to him...he will alienate you from friends, then family....watch out! YOU pick your bridesmaids, NOT him. If he doesn`t back off, back out, because this is a sign of a much bigger problem than height!

Is your groom taller than you? if so, tell him you dont match up and find a new one!!!!! he sounds like an arrogant, controling person

MAYBE HIS FRIENDS ARE JUST TOO TALL ...........No one ever said that the people walking down the aisle had to even be close to the dame height............IF THEY ARE LIKE SISTERS TO YOU HAVE THEM IN THE WEDDING............LOVE IS COMPROMISE AND HE NEEDS TO............IF YOU LEAVE THEM OUT OF YOUR WEDDING YOU ***WILL*** REGRET IT LATER.............

I am really sorry to hear about your dilemna but I don`t think the height of your bridesmaids should matter at all. I am even more sorry that you feel it is necessary to seek advice to determine if you are right. You already know that you are. Bottom line? He gets to choose who he wants to stand beside him and share this day but you can`t. He is asking you to share this day with strangers or people you don`t feel comfortable with. Bridesmaids have responsibilities, helping you get dressed, running last minute errands, ensuring things are going right.....you need people beside you that you know, trust and love. Don`t make the mistake of compromising your feelings and your right to choose these important people for a mate that seems extremely insensitive. My advice: you should have a major sit down and figure out if this is something that you can do for the rest of your life because it sounds like you will be gaining a husband and loosing yourself.

I agree with the last responce.. But i would like to add, if you are going to let him choose your bridesmaids then your starting out with him choosing everything in your life..
It the beganing of letting him choose everything.
If you let him start now hes going to get in the habit of always doing it.

Does your fiance try to control other aspects of your life?
If so, ...is this what you want for the rest of your married life? If not cancel the wedding. Its a tough decision but there are plenty of other men out there. Hope you make the best decision for you :-)

I have to agree with everyone else, your groom - to- be sounds very childish, I am getting married in June 2004 and i already know who my bridesmaids are. My maid of honor is tall, and a little chunky, my sister is short and chubby and she is a bridemaids, and my other best friend is tall and thin, she is a bridesmaid, height/weight/looks really shouldnt matter, make your choice as to who you want in your wedding, dont let your fiancee choose for you!.. And him being controlling may be a big problem while your married, you have to ask your self if you want to live that way, and if you choose to have children, do you want them to grow up and be as controling as there father?.. Hope i helped
~*~*Heidi Lyn*~*~

Holy Moly.... Are you out of your mind? Marrying someone who wants to choose your bridesmaids. Sounds like you got a real winner on your hands. Listen, do as you please and have the wedding YOU have always dreamed of. If you cant stand your ground, you`ll be controlled the rest of your life!

Mary,
I see your original post was way back in January can you give us an update to what you decided? I agree with the rest, you should be able to cjoose who you
Want! I hope it all worked out for you.