HELP! Opinions And Suggestions Needed!
Hi everyone! I just needed a few opinions and/or suggestions and any positive attitude is greatly appreciated. I`ve seen people get a bit hasty on these boards. I know planning a wedding is a hectic time, but do people really have to call each other names on these boards to make them feel better?
With that said, I am actually planning a vow renewal because when my husband and I got married I was in school full time and the only income was from my husband so needless to say we had no money to plan a wedding so we went to the JOP with NO ONE. Not a single member of either of our family was there so we are wanting to have our vow renewal with a wedding we never had. And we aren`t doing this to get things because quite frankly we don`t give a care in the world about the gifts because we have pretty much have everything we need now. Our families were both pretty upset that we did it and no one was there and we just want to do it for us and them because we both wanted our "big" wedding which honestly isn`t going to be some extreme thing.
I mean we are going to have it all but we aren`t going to go extravagant and are definitely not wanting anything from our guests. So, my first question is how to invite people without asking them for any gift or any money?
And really, my second thing is, how to do this without going over board because I don`t want this to turn in to some crazy extravagant thing. The most I am wanting to spend is $10,000 but I honestly don`t even want to spend that. So any suggestions on how to save money on things that would be great!
Also, no, we do not have any kids, or any other obligations that we would be putting off in order to have this ceremony besides of course the regular bills like rent and all that but we are using my income for the wedding, and my husband`s for the financial responsibility at home.
So, I`d appreciate any feedback but I`m not looking for negativity of any kind because that just isn`t right. I wouldn`t come on here and bad mouth someone so I`d appreciate it if no one did it to me because I`m not looking for handouts, or sponsors or anything like that. Just suggestions that will help me on my way. Thanks! And sorry this is so darn long!!!
With that said, I am actually planning a vow renewal because when my husband and I got married I was in school full time and the only income was from my husband so needless to say we had no money to plan a wedding so we went to the JOP with NO ONE. Not a single member of either of our family was there so we are wanting to have our vow renewal with a wedding we never had. And we aren`t doing this to get things because quite frankly we don`t give a care in the world about the gifts because we have pretty much have everything we need now. Our families were both pretty upset that we did it and no one was there and we just want to do it for us and them because we both wanted our "big" wedding which honestly isn`t going to be some extreme thing.
I mean we are going to have it all but we aren`t going to go extravagant and are definitely not wanting anything from our guests. So, my first question is how to invite people without asking them for any gift or any money?
And really, my second thing is, how to do this without going over board because I don`t want this to turn in to some crazy extravagant thing. The most I am wanting to spend is $10,000 but I honestly don`t even want to spend that. So any suggestions on how to save money on things that would be great!
Also, no, we do not have any kids, or any other obligations that we would be putting off in order to have this ceremony besides of course the regular bills like rent and all that but we are using my income for the wedding, and my husband`s for the financial responsibility at home.
So, I`d appreciate any feedback but I`m not looking for negativity of any kind because that just isn`t right. I wouldn`t come on here and bad mouth someone so I`d appreciate it if no one did it to me because I`m not looking for handouts, or sponsors or anything like that. Just suggestions that will help me on my way. Thanks! And sorry this is so darn long!!!
Posted by Sarah; updated 07/11/06
Reply
Sarah,
We are working on a $10,000 budget too and are not having any trouble so far staying in those limits. I think it depends on where you live though. We are in a small town and are using as many local vendors as possible. That way there aren`t delivery fees.
We are buying most of our stuff at Joanns and using the 40% off coupons. We all signed up for the mail flyer and the email so we have plenty to use each week. The wedding and reception are both at the church so there are no fees for the location and no alcohol will be served which saves a boat load.
We`re using real roses for most of the decorations which we are getting from Sams. They are way cheaper than a florist. We`re also getting all the plates, plastic ware and cups from them. They are the cheapest in our area and have nice clear plastic which looks better than the white stuff.
Have you looked at the website www.theknot.com? You can enter a budget and they will plan out what to expect for everything. You can make changes and see just how much to plan for everything.
Really, I would suggest getting your theme first, plan everything on paper and then use the internet and the phone to start pricing. Don`t buy anything until you have priced it at least 2 or 3 places. And then once you decide on it and make a purchase, don`t keep looking for it cheaper somewhere else. Just move on to the next item on your list.
Mindy
We are working on a $10,000 budget too and are not having any trouble so far staying in those limits. I think it depends on where you live though. We are in a small town and are using as many local vendors as possible. That way there aren`t delivery fees.
We are buying most of our stuff at Joanns and using the 40% off coupons. We all signed up for the mail flyer and the email so we have plenty to use each week. The wedding and reception are both at the church so there are no fees for the location and no alcohol will be served which saves a boat load.
We`re using real roses for most of the decorations which we are getting from Sams. They are way cheaper than a florist. We`re also getting all the plates, plastic ware and cups from them. They are the cheapest in our area and have nice clear plastic which looks better than the white stuff.
Have you looked at the website www.theknot.com? You can enter a budget and they will plan out what to expect for everything. You can make changes and see just how much to plan for everything.
Really, I would suggest getting your theme first, plan everything on paper and then use the internet and the phone to start pricing. Don`t buy anything until you have priced it at least 2 or 3 places. And then once you decide on it and make a purchase, don`t keep looking for it cheaper somewhere else. Just move on to the next item on your list.
Mindy
Posted by Mindy; updated 07/12/06
Reply
Oh, as for how to word the invitation, you might try something like
"your presense is the greatest gift"
"No gifts please, your presense is the only gift we desire"
Or something along those lines
Mindy
"your presense is the greatest gift"
"No gifts please, your presense is the only gift we desire"
Or something along those lines
Mindy
Posted by Mindy; updated 07/12/06
Reply
Thank you very much for your suggestions and letting me know what you are doing. I also live in a kinda small town but we have a good number of things here too. I have no idea where we are having our ceremony because we aren`t a member of any church although we would like to be. I definitely know I want our marriage to be blessed by a church so I need to figure something out... Lol.
I have not yet tried theknot.com but I will because I didn`t know they had a budget thing. I think there is a Sams somewhere around my area so that will work. I think a big thing is photography. That seems like its going to be the one of the more expensive things. I wish I knew a photographer that was a friend of mine.. Lol. Again, thank you for helping. I greatly appreciate it!
I have not yet tried theknot.com but I will because I didn`t know they had a budget thing. I think there is a Sams somewhere around my area so that will work. I think a big thing is photography. That seems like its going to be the one of the more expensive things. I wish I knew a photographer that was a friend of mine.. Lol. Again, thank you for helping. I greatly appreciate it!
Posted by Sarah; updated 07/12/06
Reply
Or photographer is costing $979 total and we opted for the digital images, not the prints. We can get prints made at Sams for 12 cents each. He takes roughly 300 images so if we print all of them that is only $36.00. I`m searching for a nice wedding album to put them in. We will probably print a few larger ones too.
One thing to ask your photographer if you opt for the digital images is whether they sign a release so you can have reprints made. One of the photographers said they give you the release form on the couples one year anniversary. I asked why and she said because the prints are how we make our money. I`m sorry but $1000 for a days work is plenty of money in my opinion.
The guy we are going with has been taking wedding photos for over 25 years but he sells insurance full time during the week. We checked out his photos and were happy with them. We found him at a bridal show.
Have you been to a bridal show yet? There is a web site where you can find all the shows in your area. I don`t know the site but I`m sure if you searched you could find it.
Friday we have an appt. To taste cake frostings. Yum! Our local baker charges between $1.50-$1.75 per slice whereas the next cheapest we found was $2.00 per slice and more for fillings.
If you know any other locals who have been in the area long ask them for referals for everything, cake, caterer, photographer, seamstress, etc.
Oh, that`s another thing, David`s bridal shop was going to charge $120 to hem the dress and $35 to bussle it. Our local seamstress who works on wedding dresses all the time charges $10 or $15 per seam for hemming so that is going to total something like $40 and the bussle is $15. We bought the veil already made at Joanns for $9 ($15 less the 40% coupon) and my daughter is hand sewing beads around the bottom of it to match the dress. I`m the mother by the way. The veils at the dress shops are around $100+.
Good luck, ask if you think of anything else. She`s only been engaged about 3 weeks but since I`m home all day we`ve been searching and planning nearly non stop.
Mindy
One thing to ask your photographer if you opt for the digital images is whether they sign a release so you can have reprints made. One of the photographers said they give you the release form on the couples one year anniversary. I asked why and she said because the prints are how we make our money. I`m sorry but $1000 for a days work is plenty of money in my opinion.
The guy we are going with has been taking wedding photos for over 25 years but he sells insurance full time during the week. We checked out his photos and were happy with them. We found him at a bridal show.
Have you been to a bridal show yet? There is a web site where you can find all the shows in your area. I don`t know the site but I`m sure if you searched you could find it.
Friday we have an appt. To taste cake frostings. Yum! Our local baker charges between $1.50-$1.75 per slice whereas the next cheapest we found was $2.00 per slice and more for fillings.
If you know any other locals who have been in the area long ask them for referals for everything, cake, caterer, photographer, seamstress, etc.
Oh, that`s another thing, David`s bridal shop was going to charge $120 to hem the dress and $35 to bussle it. Our local seamstress who works on wedding dresses all the time charges $10 or $15 per seam for hemming so that is going to total something like $40 and the bussle is $15. We bought the veil already made at Joanns for $9 ($15 less the 40% coupon) and my daughter is hand sewing beads around the bottom of it to match the dress. I`m the mother by the way. The veils at the dress shops are around $100+.
Good luck, ask if you think of anything else. She`s only been engaged about 3 weeks but since I`m home all day we`ve been searching and planning nearly non stop.
Mindy
Posted by Mindy; updated 07/12/06
Reply
Yeah, I`m very kinda clueless... Especially about dresses. I definitely know I will probably be going to a local boutique to get my dress. What exactly is a bussle? And yeah, I`ve been looking at different dresses and veils and things at local stores and the one veil I was looking at was like $80 and it was the most simple veil. Not embellishments or anything on it. I was shocked.
And I definitely agree about photographer pricing and how they think $1000 for a day`s work isn`t enough. I mean gosh, I`m sure they do tons of weddings. They don`t need to make money off the prints. I hope I do have someone around me that lets me do the digital like you are doing.
And I definitely agree about photographer pricing and how they think $1000 for a day`s work isn`t enough. I mean gosh, I`m sure they do tons of weddings. They don`t need to make money off the prints. I hope I do have someone around me that lets me do the digital like you are doing.
Posted by Sarah; updated 07/12/06
Reply
The bussle (and I may be spelling that wrong) is what they call the thing on the back of the dress when they take the train and button it up to the back of the dress after the ceremony. That is so you don`t trip over the train when you are walking around. You only want it trailing behind you when you walk down the aisle and get your pictures taken. After that, they put a hidden button hole in it with a loop on the underneath side, and a button on the back of the dress right about at your butt, you pull the loop up through the button hole and hook it over the button. Then the train is draped really pretty and smooth so it just looks like a lot of fabric on your back side. Depending on the length of the train, they may have to put 2 or 3 buttons to hold it up.
We`re going cake tasting today at 2:00. Yum. I`ve been told the frosting at the local shop isn`t all that good so I told them I want to taste what they have. Turns out they have 4 different types of frosting but most people don`t know that so they just use the cheapest, fastest or easiest, which isn`t necessarily the best tasting.
Do you know your theme or colors yet? What is your wedding date?
Mindy
We`re going cake tasting today at 2:00. Yum. I`ve been told the frosting at the local shop isn`t all that good so I told them I want to taste what they have. Turns out they have 4 different types of frosting but most people don`t know that so they just use the cheapest, fastest or easiest, which isn`t necessarily the best tasting.
Do you know your theme or colors yet? What is your wedding date?
Mindy
Posted by Mindy; updated 07/14/06
Reply
Well, I do know that the date we have is August 16, 2008 because I graduate in May 2008 and I wanted some time in between finishing my degree and planning the wedding so that way I don`t drive myself insane trying to finish both at the same time. Although, I do know it would be easier on most of our family members because I have some in Ohio (We live about an hour away from Indianapolis) and he has his family in Evansville which is four hours away from where we are. So I know it would be easier to have both kind of back to back so that way they don`t have to travel twice in a period of four months but I`m sure many won`t be coming to my graduation/graduation party as who will be coming to the wedding. So, I`m not too concerned about that now that I think more about it. I would be so stressed out! And trying to find a good job in the mix of all that... Whew!... I`m glad we are having a few months in between. Gotta pay off those student loans! LoL
As far as the colors, I`d like one of them to be like a light pink but as far as an accent color or anything like that I have no clue! If I even need one. I`m not sure, but the theme I`ve been tossing around has just been like classic romance because I`ve already found these invitations that I like and they are a silver color with black swirls and they just look kinda classy. Its kind of hard to explain them but I love them. I want to order them now, lol, but I think its a bit early especially since I have no idea where the wedding is actually going to take place.
As far as the colors, I`d like one of them to be like a light pink but as far as an accent color or anything like that I have no clue! If I even need one. I`m not sure, but the theme I`ve been tossing around has just been like classic romance because I`ve already found these invitations that I like and they are a silver color with black swirls and they just look kinda classy. Its kind of hard to explain them but I love them. I want to order them now, lol, but I think its a bit early especially since I have no idea where the wedding is actually going to take place.
Posted by Sarah; updated 07/14/06
Reply
Wow, you are really giving yourself plenty of time to plan. It is so easy to change your mind on something when you have that much time to plan so be careful you don`t buy stuff and then find somethiing you like better and change your color or theme or overall look. Then you would have just wasted money on what you already had.
With 2 full years before the date I don`t know if you will be able to lock in any contracts, like photographer and such.
Good luck with all of it, school, the marriage and the reception.
PS, I got married at 18, went to school and earned my MBA, had 2 kids while in school, and just celebrated my 26 year anniversary. Now I`m planning daughter #2`s wedding and hoping that daughter #1 gets engaged soon. I`m looking forward to being a grandma.
Mindy
With 2 full years before the date I don`t know if you will be able to lock in any contracts, like photographer and such.
Good luck with all of it, school, the marriage and the reception.
PS, I got married at 18, went to school and earned my MBA, had 2 kids while in school, and just celebrated my 26 year anniversary. Now I`m planning daughter #2`s wedding and hoping that daughter #1 gets engaged soon. I`m looking forward to being a grandma.
Mindy
Posted by Mindy; updated 07/15/06
Reply
Wow! Congratulations .. I can only hope that we stay together a very long time. I`m sure that we will because we are both the type of people that don`t believe in getting a divorce and we`ve already been together 3 years. Like every couple we have our disagreements but we get through them.
I`ve been tossing around the idea of getting my Masters and would love to but I know (or so I`ve heard) that you have to take a certain test before you get admitted in to a Masters program and most subjects I`m good at but math isn`t a strong one for me. I had a very bad experience with a math professor... He told the whole class once. "I don`t even know what some of you are even doing in here. There are some people in this class that should be at Ivy Tech because you are never going to make it here." Which Ivy Tech is a 2 yr. Voc. School. Of course, I dropped his class and got in to another math class and passed it with flying colors, but ugh, I don`t even know how that man became a professor. Ok, I totally got off the subject of weddings ... Lol ... But I do appreciate all your kind words and suggestions! Thanks so very much!
I`ve been tossing around the idea of getting my Masters and would love to but I know (or so I`ve heard) that you have to take a certain test before you get admitted in to a Masters program and most subjects I`m good at but math isn`t a strong one for me. I had a very bad experience with a math professor... He told the whole class once. "I don`t even know what some of you are even doing in here. There are some people in this class that should be at Ivy Tech because you are never going to make it here." Which Ivy Tech is a 2 yr. Voc. School. Of course, I dropped his class and got in to another math class and passed it with flying colors, but ugh, I don`t even know how that man became a professor. Ok, I totally got off the subject of weddings ... Lol ... But I do appreciate all your kind words and suggestions! Thanks so very much!
Posted by Sarah; updated 07/15/06
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