Reception Menus

Hi there...
I am helping my cousin plan her 1PM garden wedding for August 5, 2006. That date has already changed 3 times. This will be her second marriage and she just wants an elegant yet simple ceremony at the very large home of our cousin. The hors d` ouevre /champagne reception would be there also.
Unfortunately, her fiance doesn`t want that type of reception...this is his first marriage. He doesn`t feel that they can have a reception without really FEEDING the people. In his mind they need to serve a heavy meal consisting of Fried Chicken, Potato Salad, Collard Greens, rolls, etc. He says he never heard of a reception like that. That proves he has a narrow mind! She doesn`t want that!..So we are stuck! They don`t want to spend thousands of dollars for a rental place as they want to spend it on a very nice honeymoon trip.
He doesn`t want to really physically participate in the planning as far as going shopping, getting supplies etc, but he wants to be in on the decisions. So far, all he has done is complain, but he hasn`t offered any ideas! My cousin is getting frustrated and I am about to back out as coordinator if he doesn`t change. What can we do to get him on board. The menu that we planned would have been light, filling, simple yet elegant. The decor of my cousins home and the sounds of jazz throughout would make it a most elegant affair. They are inviting 50 guests to his home..no children. Even though he has a very large home and we have had our family Thanksgivings there...the host didn`t want to bring out the really big tables to seat 50 people for a sitdown dinner, we want the guests to be able to mill around and greet one another. My husband and I actually had the same kind of reception for our wedding on Christmas Eve almost 8 years ago and it was wonderful. Please help! My cousin is beginning to give up on what she wants and I don`t want her to do that...any ideas would be appreciated! Her fiance is a really nice guy..being 51, I guess he is really old school.