Step-Mother Of The Bride
I am the step-mother of the Bride. My husband and I have been married for 15 years. There has always been subtle tension between his children and myself, I assume because they don`t want to appear disloyal to their mother by enjoying spending time with me. (Although I had nothing to do with their divorce. I only met him long after their divorce). Over the past 15 years, their mother and I have only been in the presence of one another about 10 times total, but each time she manages to make some sly, cutting remark towards me. She`s agressive, and I`m reserved, so I feel totally nervous and uncomfortable around her.
Anyway, I`m good with computers, so at the bride`s request, I designed and printed the invitations and the wedding programs for her. I was considering not even going to the wedding because I don`t know how or where I fit in, but the bride told my husband that she wants me at the wedding since I helped with those items. My husband is giving his daughter away, so he will wear a tuxedo, but what should I wear? I have no idea what the other mothers (of the bride nor groom) will be wearing. I feel awkward asking, because I don`t know if they`d laugh at me and say, "It doesn`t matter what you wear, you have nothing to do with the wedding anyway." That would be a crushing blow.
The wedding colors are royal blue and silver. The bridesmaids are wearing royal blue dresses. The groomsmen will wear black tuxedos, white shirts and royal blue ties and vests. That`s the extent of my knowledge of the wedding attire.
What should I wear? Where should I sit? What should I do? Help! The wedding is in May. Time is running out and I am totally in a panic.
Posted by Margaret; updated 03/30/06
Reply
You should wear a version of blue that will compliment the colors of the wedding. Even a silver would go nice. You need to be there. You have nothing to do with what is going on and don`t feed into it. Go with a huge smile on your face and enjoy the day.
Posted by Mika; updated 03/31/06
Reply
MARGARET, I TOO AM A STEP MOTHER OF THE BRIDE. I TOO HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO MY HUSBAND FOR 15 YEARS. I TOO AM UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND HIS EX WIFE. HOWEVER, I RAISED THESE CHILDREN, SHE HASN`T DONE ANYTHING FOR THEM, YET MY STEP DAUGHTER STILL WANTS HER TO BE THERE (AS SHE SHOULD BE). HER FATHER AND I HAVE PAID FOR THE ENTIRE THING, I AM HER WEDDING COORDINATOR. I TOLD HER THAT HER MOTHER CAN LIGHT THE UNITY CANDLE, BUT I WANTED TO BE ESCORTED DOWN THE AISLE LAST AND I`M SITTING ON FRONT ROW. SHE AGREED. GO TO THIS WEDDING KNOWING THAT YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO YOUR STEP DAUGHTER. THE PROBLEM LIES WITHIN THE EX, THAT`S THE EX WIFE`S PROBLEM. HELP YOUR STEP DAUGHTER HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY. IN THE END, YOU`LL WIN OUT.
Posted by PAULA; updated 04/10/06
