Tired Mother-In-Law To Be

To be honest, as a wedding planner, I have told brides often to do just that - give the mother and mother-in-law something to do to keep busy. Either she wanted the information to see if she woudl change her mind (I tell all brides to get quotes, even if they have made the choice already - just in case) or she just wanted to let you feel included.

I wouldn;t take it personally. Be glad she included you, if she askes for more help and you have time - give the help lovingly. If she uses your info, great. If not, oh well. Think of it as a chance to bound with this girl who will be your family and look at your effort as part of that - rather then wasted time:)

By making an issue out of it, you will only cause strain between the to of you before the wedding even happens! Worse yet, if she it the kind who does not like to hurt feelings, she may change her mind to make you happy - and end up having you wedding instead of hers! You`d feel bad about that in the end to:) So, love her and do what you can. Forget what you can`t:)

Crystal,
I didn`t involve myself in their plans from the beginning, so I guess I don`t understand why the need to *keep me busy*. She`s a sweet girl and my son loves her, as long as they make each other happy, I don`t care where they get married. I`ll be there with bells on!!

I didn`t mean it to sound like she was tryign to keep you busy. Just trying to let you be included. I know from the questions brides have asked me many, many times that this is a common thing. Most brides express their desire to ahve the mother in law involved becuase this is a hugly important time of their life and they hope to be able to bond with you in the process. So, she was probably thinking that asking you to help out with something was a good way to get you involved.

I will also add that this happens to me A LOT!!! At least a few times with every wedding I plan, I will spend hours researching and finding quotes, etc and then the bride will end up doing what she was gonna do in the first place. Usually, the bride already knew what she wanted but wanted to be sure there wasn`t a better option out there she didn`t know about:) Actually, most wedding planners will tell you, if you already know what you want - still go out and get at least 3 more quotes. Just to be sure.

Crystal,
I`ve been happily married for 25 years. I guess I`ve forgotten the bride-to-be`s first instinct is to include and try to please everyone. Unfortunately, she`ll learn soon enough that is just not possible. I`ll be there for her, whatever she needs. Thanks so much for taking the time to respond, I feel better now.