Children At Wedding Reception

Believe me, it`s not me that does not want children at the wedding, its my daughter who has become, "Bridezilla."

Fran

There is no proper way to write NO children invited, just don`t include the names of the children on the invitation. As you start getting your RSVP you, the bride or someone appointed to do this may have to call the guest and explain that is an adult only affair and bringing children would not be appropriate.

Also, your daughter may consider having a list of reliable babysitters that her guest can call and "book" for the night. She may also want to consider hiring a babysitter and making her available for a few hours to guests with children.

I have had brides that did not want childern at the reception one way we did that was we provided childcare for those that needed it. There was a time limit so that the childcare providers were not taking care of and a donation jar plus the bride/groom parents paid the babysitters $4/per kid. Childcare was only provided for those 12 and under. In the invitations sent to those that did have childern was a note that stating that there was childcare provided from 7-11 for anyone that did not have childcare arrangements.
Now the other wedding that has not yet happened the bride sent a little note that basicly stated that it was an adult party and that childern were not invited. I am not really sure if there is a delicate way to tell people that their childern are not welcome at a "family" event. As a woman with 5 childern I look forward to getting away for a while....lol however when its a wedding your sitters tend to be there. I feel that if the bride does not want childern there than she needs to provide an alternitive. Weddings/receptions are a family affair and there is no reason why childern should not be welcome. I know that it happens as I stated before, however still I feel that it is not proper. Anyway I`ll stop typing now and I hope in someway this helps.

I am a bride myself. I do not want children at my wedding. I don`t quite think its fair that you call her bridezilla. There are many reasons why i do not want children. It is an night wedding, I dont want people leaving early, I dont want screaming children, I don`t want children bumping chairs, tables, knocking things over, I also do not want them to feel like they cannot be children. I am a teacher, I understand that they get bored at these events. It is ok that she does not invite them.
When you write your invitations you write Mr and Mrs. Thomas or whatever their names are...instead of the family. On the inner evelope is when you list everyone who can attend. It is actually rude to rsvp for more then what is listed! I myself am doing my rsvp on line. This way I can limit how many they can have. I also wrote on our website that it is an adult reception. I`m sure parents are pissed, but frankly its our wedding, we discussed it and thats how it is. That is also my response to anyone who feels like saying anything else.

My congrats to her, on making a stand that will not be accepted by many! Hope the rest of the planning go smoothly!

Fran, i too had no children at my wedding and on the invitation it said the adults name only( Mr & Mrs. Smith), and I let it known to family, friends, etc.. By word of mouth that this was an adult only reception, so everyone had an idea. I also had a card in my invitation that said" Ceremony followed by Adult Reception at blah blah blah!!! No one was upset and all went well.
Good luck,, Alli LV Catering
Also,, the company that does your invitations mighth have other wordings as well to choose from.

I myself am getting married in a year and my reception is going to be adults only. I am just goingto simply put on the invitations that the reception will be an adult only event. Its the parents of the childrens job to find a caregiver for their children not mine. They are not my kids. The reason I dont want kids at my reception is because of two reasons. One there will most likely be drunk people there and two its just not the place for kids to "PLAY"

Shame on you for insisting that the bride is responsible for providing your childcare. I am a mother of three and I would never assume that my children SHOULD be welcome to an event. The bride and groom are planning their special day and their guests should not have expectation to tote the kids along.......if you`re happy with them being with a sitter the bride provides then why not make everyone happy and leave them at home. Find your own sitter. Figure it out on your own. You were invited to a party. Since when is it the bride`s responsibility to provide you with eveything the night of her wedding??? It`s just embarassing as a mother to hear other mothers talk as though the world revolves around their little preciouses.

I definitely agree with Lola and want to add this: if you are invited to a nice dinner party (which a wedding reception basically is!) you wouldn`t bring your children along, much less expect the host & hostess to provide childcare. It is ultimately the couple`s decision and guests should respect it.

I am fine with people not inviting children. The frustration I have is that I don`t go places where my children aren`t welcome. People are upset that I don`t want to go to a wedding where my kids aren`t welcome. Don`t make them feel bad that they aren`t attending if you choose not to invite the children.

Most people with the attitude that they don`t like to go where their kids are not invited, are the ones whose children are the "adorable" ones who pick food off of other people`s plates, they run all over, spill things, throw things and have temper tantrums! They are the ones whose children do the "cutest" things when they spit and hit people. They are also the same people who did NOT have children at their weddings and now that they have kids, expect people to invite them to their functions. No bride should be made to feel that she is wrong for not inviting little monsters to her big day. She should also not have to provide babysitting, special kids meals or anything else that deals with someone else`s kids. They are your kids and your responsibility so take care of them!

How kind you are to assume something about me when you don`t even know me! Assuming something abut someone without knowing them shows the kind of person you are. I feel sorry for your friends. I can promise my children are better behaved than you. Obviously your parents forgot to teach you manners and what it means to make snap judgements. Even my 4 year old knows better than to do that!

Back the the original person who posted this. My only point is that you should not make people feel bad if they don`t attend - because they don`t want to leave their children at home.

WOW! She did say MOST. As in MOST people with your attitude is what she said, she did not say YOU. So that was an assumption on your part. I can understand Mary`s point. I understand how people feel. Also, if you want an adult only reception, state that on an insert, put the persons names directly on the invitations and fill in the number of people on the RSVP card so that lets people know for sure that their children are not invited.

Her assumption is an admission of guilt. The guilty party always speaks up. The truth hurts and they get offended. She is offended because I spoke the truth about her little monsters. Wonder what they are doing while she is on here offering her "advice".

I guess her last sentence was not directed at me either?

"They are your kids and your responsibility so take care of them!"

That doesn`t seem like I am assuming anything to me. I thought the point here was to answer this person`s question not bash other people or their opinons.

I understand why she reacted that way to your statements. You obviously hold some bitter feelings towards children for some reason. Being a mother I know its often hard to be away from my children, I feel safer having them with me especially for as many hours as a ceremony and reception can last. Calling children monsters because a woman said she didn`t want to go away from her children seems pretty cold to me.

As a soon to be Bride, I am not inviting children to my wedding. The children who are in it, are also not invited to the reception. I have paid a babysitter to take them to a nice restaurant, after the pictures they will change their clothes and go to a restaurant that has places for them to play and have fun, they will go to a movie and go home. I feel this way, my reception is from 6 to 12 and open bar all night. I would not take children to a bar and I hope that parents would not take their children to a bar either, so I would not invite them to a reception where there is open bar all night and people drinking. I want parents to have a wonderful time alone to enjoy the night. The only babysitter I am offering is for the flower girls, ring barer and bell ringer. That is it. Parents are on their own to get their own babysitting if they want to come. I am putting the names of the Mr and Mrs on the invitation and on the reply card, I am putting in the number for them. It is that simple. There are people who have children who I wouldn`t invite to my home so why would I want them at my ceremony??? I know how I would raise my children and I still don`t expect anyone to invite them to their functions, if they do, that is on them. I can only speak for me and my function and I am not going to pay $185 for a 4 course meal and open bar for a child who is not going to eat the meal, get restless and the mansion that I am having the reception at, is not a playground.

Maybe I am a little late to add this. My daughter is marring in November. And although we are very family and child friendly she is in hopes of not to many children. We too are Considering childcare arrangements. In our case family and friends will have to travel to us. We moved away a few years ago and so most of them will have the expence of travel etc. One thing my daughter is considering is to provide an on site playland with "childcare" to be included. We have rented a 200 year old mansion to include it`s grounds and Large reception addition. We are considering turning the back grounds...a part we are not using ...in to an on site funland...with bounce houses etc...It`s an idea at least... And at least in this area these arraingments are not very expensive. Best wishes, and no matter how you decide to handle it...if it`s done with class for this one time the bride gets to make the rules. Enjoy! Beverly

I agree that children of guests should not be broght to wedding reception, especially a night affair. But I also feel a little hipocritical because I am having my own niece and nephew in my wedding, but as a bride it is my choice to have my family in my wedding. Because they are soooo cute and they are mine and it is my day. RIGHT!

The lady said DO NOT MAKE HER FEEL BAD TO MAKE THE CHOICE TO STAY AT HOME. YOU WHO ASSUMED HER CHILDREN WERE NOT BEHAVED-I BET YOUR PARENTS DID NOT GET INVITED MANY PLACES-CAN YOU GUESS WHY? YOU ARE A PRESUMPTUOUS PERSON WHO WOULD BENEFIT IN TAKING A COURSE IN READING WITH UNDERSTANDING-NOW I AM NOT CALLING YOU STUPID? BUT ANY ONE WHO READS 1/2 THE CONTENT OF A STATEMENT CAN GIVE NO BENEFICIAL INPUT. LOOK SHE SAID SHE DOES NOT MIND NO CHILDREN INVITES JUST KNOW AND RESPECT THAT SHE WILL NOT BE THERE!!!