Asking For Money For Gifts

I am looking for a way to ask for money aswell and i dont see anything wrong with that. So far i have come up with the idea of putting this in the invites.


"Wedding gifts aren’t easy to find so instead we had this is mind!
We`re Building a home and we`ve all that we need.
But financial assistance would be helpful indeed.
If youre willing and able we`ll make this request
A anonymous contribution placed in our treasure chest.
Decorated with butterflies; on a table it rests
You’ll see it there in the function room
To help build a home for us, Bride and Groom!"

What do we all think about this?? Has anyone any ideas that i could add or change???

No! Asking for any gifts, especially money, is inappropriate!

These are your ***guests***, to be treated w/ respect. They will likely *want* to offer a gift, & if you choose to have family & friends informally signal your desire for money in particular or gifts from your registries, it`s barely okay. But a wedding should never decline into a "beg-athon".

Want to finance your house? -- Then scale down your wedding to affordable means, & use the savings to fund more long-term priorities such as this home. You alone, not your guests, are responsible for funding your future.

Seroiusly, I think not registering and word of mouth are the only way to go! I know I woulld get the hint then. Also, I`d be less likely to give money if you asked for it, it does seem really rude!
But, its your wedding and whatever you decide to do is up to you. I just know from my point of view and also many others, it is rude! Hope this helps!

Hi I agree that not registering for gifts is the way to go. Alot of people bring money anyways, especially if you already are a home owner. My sister just got married and at least 50% of the cards had money in them. I think alot of people being it anyways.

Agreed! Don`t register for anything (or only a few things) and most people will probably opt to give a gift of money. That poem, however, is absolutely audacious. Please don`t embarrass yourself by actually sending it to your guests. It is rude and the cutesiness of the poetry only makes it even worse.

Boy, the travel industry will go to any lengths now to make more money. Now they`re telling brides it`s okay to hit their guests up to pay for parts of their honeymoon? Ugh.

That poem posted above is awful. I`m really hoping no one takes her advice and actually uses something so hideous. The very idea of mentioning gifts (presumptous and rude) in an invite makes me shudder.

I agree with these other ladies - the only way to `ask` for cash without ever having to do it would be to opt to not register. By not registering you are `telling` your guests "hey we have everything we need." Your guests are not dumb, they will put two and two together.

Good luck!

Not only is that poem awful but you`ll notice that it asks for ANONYMOUS CONTRIBUTIONS!!!!! So not only is she begging for money, but she doesn`t even want to know who gives it to her so that she can send them a proper thank you note. Wow! This is horrible!!! It`s like here`s a pretty box, please just drop cash in, I don`t care who gives it to me because I`m not interested in writing out hundreds of thank you notes. Besides, buying the stationary and the stamps would cut into my profits!!

I`ll post the same answer I posted in another thread of the same nature:

According to proper etiquette such as Emily Post, it is rude to ask for any gift at all. Now, that being said, yes, it’s your wedding, your family and friends, your relationships. You know what you can do and not do. Protocol calls for the invited guests calling your mother or Matron/Maid of honor and asking what you are looking for or where you are registered.

Money is always the best gift in reality. But for some reason people still consider it rude and inconsiderate to give. It is thought to take no effort to give cash. It’s the way we are. I personally love receiving cash. But I have been reprimanded for giving it. Even gift certificates are considered in poor taste. I also agree that this is bunk. The best gifts I received for my wedding was gift certificates and cash. We spent the cash on our honeymoon, when I wrote my Thank You notes, I wrote things like, “Thank you so much for your thoughtful gift. We enjoyed a fancy dinner (or Broadway Play) while in New York. Thank you so much for providing this opportunity.” The gift certificates we received were for things to do together, dinner, movies, ski lift, roller-skating, etc. That was so fun! We did things and went places we may not have on our own. This is something you can suggest to people who refuse to give you cash. This way they still have to put effort into it and you can really use it later, together.


Courtesy or favors are to be extended by the giver, not the receiver. It is always improper to ask for gifts. In fact, a wedding is a day you have invited people to your event. This makes you the giver, hence this is why you provide a meal, party and favors.

A wedding shower is thrown by a loved-one. Making them, the giver and you the receiver. It is still up to them what to give you; it is not proper for you to ask for something in particular. If they ask you what you want, you are free to tell them.

This is true of any gift-given event in your life, including Christmas and your birthday.

I registered for my honeymoon. A neat concept, at www.thebigday.com. It`s kewl your guests can buy a part of your honeymoon from your "wish list" and then they mail you a check periodically.
They even send little insert cards that you can put with your "save the date cards" and mail them to your guests. Ettiquette says you can`t put them in your invitations. Which doesn`t make sense to me and I am a Bridal Consultant. Guests are going to want to get you a present what better time to send the registry information. Some people your parents won`t be in contact with. Ah well just to let you brides know from a former and future Bride and Bridal Consultant also the big day lets you create a wedding website for free!

Sometimes - if you simply write "NO Boxed Gifts" on a card and insert it inside the reception card instead of a registry card usually gets the point across.

Asking for money or gift certificates is terribly tacky. Asking your guests to help you pay for your honeymoon or mortgage is PAINFULLY tacky! All this does is advertise WE HAVE NO CLASS!

A gift is a gift - you are not `owed` anything for getting married or otherwise. If people want to give you a gift out of the kindness of their hearts, you should graciously accept it, even if it is something you never would have bought for yourself. If you really hate it, write a kind thank you note and after a time, sell it on eBay (but NEVER let the giver know this!).

I truly cannot believe the complete lack of taste and class that some brides (and grooms!) have these days.