Vow Renewal

My husband and I are renewing our vows this summer. We went to the JP 3 years ago. This time we are having the white dress, tuxes, reception, etc. My dad is 81 years old and never had the opportunity to walk any of his daughters down an aisle. Although this is not `renewal etiquette` I can`t imagine not giving my dad this opportunity. Anyone renewing vows should go for what they want or can afford. Hats off to any others in my situation!!
Posted by laurie; updated 02/08/06

Reply

I totally agree that a renewal of vows can be as meaningful as the first profession of vows at a wedding. I am a minister and I have officiated at several renewal of vows. Marriage, I believe, is one of the three great rites of passage (birth and death being the other two) and they should be celebrated in a more formal way before family and friends. If you would like more information about this, please contact me.
(Rev) John Gaffney

Visit our page for more info: Interfaith Weddings

Posted by John Gaffney; updated 02/09/06

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I was having the exact same dilemna with renewal etiquette. My husband and I were married at City Hall on 6/16/93. We decided to renew our vows this year to have a fresh, new life... We were having major marital problems which we have been working on since and we wanted to have our marriage (and especially our family) blessed in church (we are Catholic). We have 5 beautiful children and wanted to keep our family together.

Well... We are having a full church ceremony and having a reception too. I can`t think of any reason not to have it the way we want it. I am wearing a white dress (no veil). My husband will be wearing formal wedding attire. Our two older sons will walk me down the aisle and two younger sons will be ring bearers. Our daughter will walk down as the flower girl (they will also be wearing wedding attire too for the roles in the ceremony). We are having a candle lighting ceremony (Unity Candle). Our parish priest said that since we are not recognized as a married couple in church, we need to apply for a new license. We also need two witnesses and my sister will be my Matron and his brother as Best Man. I am also asking his other brother and wife to be attendant/groomsman.

We are having 50 people at the reception. This pretty much breaks down to close family/close friends and everybody thinks it is a good idea what we are doing and we are all excited.

The only difference between our celebration is the fact that it is a vow renewal. We are not straying away from that fact. We are not having a bridal shower, bachlor/bachlorette parties, we are not registered, we are not expecting anything from our guests. We are not doing the bridal bouquet toss or garter toss. The first dance we are obviously doing, as well as the cake ceremony. We decided to have two more dances (a father/daughter dance and one where I will dance with each of my sons). My DJ is booked, my favors and invites are all done (and yes with the renewal wording). Videographer and photographer.

We are 4 months away from our celebration and I have been getting sick over the fact that I am comitting a major faux pas. I am so glad that what I have read in these posts, there are people out there the feel the exact same way. One thing I thought to do for the reception was to wear a dress that I can dance in... The dress for the ceremony does have a bit of a train, so I want something that I can dance in for the reception.

So... What I am trying to say is that I absolutely agree... In this age of divorce, broken homes, etc.. Why not celebrate your marriage in a fashion that suits your tastes/preference. Wear the dress, gown, veil, tiara, hire the DJ, photographer/videographer, hall, plan the party of your dreams if that is what you want!!! This is your day!!!!

Whatever you decide... I hope it is everything you want.
Posted by Denise; updated 02/15/06

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I had responded a short time ago to your request to have a vow renewal ceremony. I had said that I had done several of these and I directed you to my website: www.reverendjohngaffney.net. To learn more about me and how I approach ceremonies. The internet provided asked that I respond to you again. If you are interested in my services, please call me at my home/office which is: (301) 352-4175.

Rev. John Gaffney

Visit our page for more info: Interfaith Weddings

Posted by John Gaffney; updated 02/16/06

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Reverend Gaffney, I am not sure if this post was meant for me... If so, my husband and I are renewing in our parish. Thank you.

If not, thank you anyway!!!
Posted by Denise; updated 02/16/06