Marring Young

I say don`t listen to what people think! People who think you should wait are NOT in your shoes. When it comes down to it, only you know how you truly feel. I am sort of in the same position, as in I am 19 and we have been together 9 months. However we won`t get engaged until it`s been over a year and then get married when I`m out of college. But even if we got married this summer I`d feel the same about him. When you know he`s the one, you KNOW. Waiting is just for everyone else`s benefit. So if you feel that it`s right..if you KNOW it`s right, then do it, and don`t listen to anyone else`s opinion, it`s your marriage and your life. And maybe you will change when you`re out of school but if he`s the one he will help you change and will love who you are no matter how you change. :)

My advice for a 19yr old thinking of marriage would be to ask herself what the reasons are for wanting to get married right away. I dont think there is a set age for getting married. Years ago girls were married by age 13 and having children right away. Nowdays, there are people who dont get married untill they are in their late 30s or even 40s. I am 23yrs old and my boyfriend and I are thinking about getting married in about a year or two. I personally think that anyone who thinks they have found the person they want to spend the rest of their life with should hold onto them. However, there is no reason to rush into marriage. One of the best parts of the relationship is the boyfriend/girlfriend stage. You can be free to have fun together and date and not really have much responsibility. Then in the engagement stage you can still have fun together and plan your wedding. I think those two stages should be a couple years each, just for the fact that its more fun and less stressful. You dont want to worry about planning a wedding in less than a year because its ALOT of work. And I wouldnt recommend a courthouse wedding or eloping either because you wont have the great memories from it that you could have if your family is there.
If you are 19 and he is 21.....what is the reason for getting married right now and not 2 years from now or 4 years? If you are in college I would recommend waiting until you graduate to get married. There is no law saying you have to get married to stay together. And if you know you want to be married.....get engaged and then have a long engagement.

I got married at 19! Although finances were a struggle, and I hadn`t completed college, life seems to be going just fine for us. One thing I would suggest...Only you know if you are old enough to get married. Our heart tells our age, not our years. Are you ready to settle down? Have you finished "shopping" around?

If your truley and completely done being single, and there will be no turning back due to the fact you feel you didn`t look around enough, Then I say CONGRATS! And may God bless your marrage!
(Mary was 15 when she got married, and 16 when she had Jesus) God see`s our hearts.

I WOULD HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT IF YOU LOVE HIM THEN THE AGE IS NOTHING

I myself am getting married at 18...and studies are showing that the younger you get married the more adapted to each other you will be to each other and your everyday lives...(as opposed to getting married after college when you have to try to juggle around your job and such) also...the only reason people change between 18 and 25 is because they were people who had always followed someone else...if you truly love him...age won`t matter to either of you...

You cannot let others dictate the best time for you to marry. I got married young (20). So many people said "you have your whole life ahead of you, why tie yourself down now"? When you find the person you are truly in love with then why wait? Age does not determine your happiness. To the person that brought up changes throughout college. Yes, you will change but that does not mean your love will change. My husband and I went through college at the same time and it only made our love stronger. If you are in love, why wait? It is better than "shacking up"! Besides, if you are both young and he is ready to settle down that be glad! He must really love you. We complain about pre marital sex and we back this up by discouraging young marriages. Not a smart plan! Spouses are like cars, you want to get them new so you can break them in yourself.

Hi, I will be 19 in 2 weeks. My boyfriend of 3 years asked me to marrie him 8 months ago. We will be married on May 17, 2003, so I will still be 19. Like some others have said, this is one of those things you have to deside on your own. I do think that a lot of people get married for a lot of wrong reasons when there between 18-21. For example the thought of living a lone and having to support yourself can really suck for some people. I found Curtis almost 4 years ago when I was just 15 years old and he 19. Our familys thought we were crazy but I know it was love at first sight and after 3 years everone we know can see it too. More than anything we are best friends for life (very important). Now my largest goal is to become what ever I want to be and do that thing well. I just say that you need to think about your life with and without him. If you both will make it a point to live your dreams in support of each other then go for it but dont marrie for any reason but love. Lifes to short, make the most of it and never give up your dreams for a person. That person wont always be there but if you make your dreams come true that will always be with you. Make youself happy in all the areas of your life. Trust me I watched my sisters marrage fall a part because she married to early. You have to be happy in all the departments of you life if you know what I mean. Good luck and I hope you find your awnser. Remember look inside you heart, that is the only place you`ll find the truth. God Bless

Just an FYI, I am I bridal consultant, and my company does about 250 weddings a year. I can tell you statistics for my company alone, show that anyone under the age of 27 will be divorced within 5 years of being married. Most of them are within the first 1-3 years. We have quite a few "repeat" clients. I also was married at a very young age (20). I stayed married, struggled with finances, etc., for 8 years. I filed for divorce on our 8 year anniversary. I still love my ex, we still talk every few months, we justed wanted different things. Original we both wanted the white picket fence, 2.5 kids, the typical "american dream". In the end, he didn`t want kids, he started his own business, which took off and meant that I only saw him for 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the evening. In the end it is your decision...Just make sure it`s one that you can live with. In some ways, I don`t regret mine because it was a learning experience and I am a very strong person and was able to get through it ok. Divorce is a terrible thing for all involved (friends, family etc). Even though it was mutual between both of us, it was the hardest thing that I could have ever done. I would not wish that upon anyone.

If you no its right then just do it!!! im only 18 and getting married in 7 months (i will still be 18) but i just no its right. And were strong christians and "waiting for marriage" and the bible says that its better to marry young then to sin, so were doing it and we no that were making the right decision, well anyway best of luck to you and once again if you know he is right 4 you then go for it, god bless-

I have been with my finacee for six years. I was your age when we started dating and a freshman in college. I wanted to get married, but thanks to his mom. I waited. Reason why I said " thanks her" She had got married at the age of 18 young and divorce.. She had shared her experince. Although, two years later I got engage(1998). It was that year I realize not ready for that kind of responbile. I was honest with my love and we decided to have the wedding in the year of 2003. Meanwhile, I accomplish what I wanted; Completed my BS degree, Traveled to Europe and meet people from works of the earth. Now I am ready get married to my love this Summer

Hey! I don`t see anything wrong with getting married young as long as you know he`s "the one" for you. I am 16 years old and my fiancee is 19. We are planning to be married when I turn 18. A lot of people tell me to wait, but I don`t want to do what other people tell me too. I want to follow my own heart. So, just follow yours and everything should be just fine. P.S: Statistics don`t mean a thing when it comes to "True Love"! God Bless!

I think you`ll sense a theme from these replies - the people closer to your age do not see anything wrong with it. Those of us a bit further along (I`m 31) can share a perspective that has been fine-tuned through many more years of experience. In all complete sincerity, I know that it`s hard to believe (I TOTALLY remember being 19 - I was engaged for the FIRST time then - thankfully, I called it off before the wedding). I remember thinking I had maturity (which I probably did and you very well may), wisdom (that comes only with age), the ability to start a family/relationship (perhaps), and the ability to see this relationship through the good/bad, etc. Like I said, thankfully, I called that off WAY before the wedding because I spoke with many people with a longer-view perspective (i.e., older people) on this, who compassionately shared their wisdom with me. It`s not meant to be patronizing, trust me. I soooooo understand where you`re at. I`m trying to compassionately express something to you that I feel so deeply in my heart that I truly hope it doesn`t fall on deaf ears. The fact that you are here asking shows a great deal of maturity and foresight on your part, of that you shoudl be proud. I hope you are able to glean the more credible responses from here and save yourself a great deal of heartache.

UNfortunately, I did get married at what I now believe was "too young" - I was 23, he was 22. We are both professionals, college-educated (even graduate school, for me), both very "nice" people, both very mature for our ages (we were told), both reasonable, rational, responsible, etc. Problem is, even those reasonable, rational, responsible, mature adults that we were changed SIGNIFICANTLY in our 20s to the point where, by the time I was 28 and he 27, we realized that our tracks had both grown and that the growth was in opposite directions (we`re still both reasonable/rational/responsible/mature, it`s just that this has taken a very different "look" now). He`s a very nice guy. I still think so. So am I (he still thinks so), but two nice people do not always make a good match (we divorced 2 1/2 years ago). There are things a person discovers about himself and herself through their 20s that are best discovered unencumbered by the marital commitment. If it is meant to be, it WILL wait a few years - it WILL be there, trust me. If it`s not meant to be, then it`s MUCH better to know before marriage (and, especially, before children). If I could pass a law that no one could get married before age, oh, 28 or so, I think I would. I`m THAT convinced that the growth we do in our 20s is so significant. I commend you for asking this tough question and pray to God that He gives you the disceernment to recognize the difference between hindsight (which those of us in our 30s have) and, well, perhaps a bit of naieve optimism (ala some of the teens here) have. Blessings.

I agree that some young people are extremely immature. That does not mean we are all immature. In fact, I know some people that are 30+ that are more immature than some younger people. I see so many people that have taken the advice to wait until 28 to settle down and they get to a point to where "all of the good ones are gone". Most of these people end up settling. This is where the divorce and unhappiness occur. Why put off a good thing? If you cannot see yourself separated from this man and he feels the same way about you then why wait? When my husband and I realized that we wanted to be married, we both wanted it then. We knew that if we waited it would still be there but we wanted to spend as much of our lives together as possible. So many people that told me I should not get married so early had divorced or made stupid mistakes in their marriages. Why should we take advice from people who obviously are not happy? No offense to the divorcees but there are plenty of people out there who got married early and have been happy for 20, 30, 40, 50+ years. If we all try to live our lives based on morals/ values, things work out for the better. We live in a time where people change sex partners like socks. If more people would choose to wait and get to know their partner before they become physical, they would know every good and bad thing that is and could be. You get to know their limits, their temper, their likes and dislikes. It is the little things that can tear a marriage apart if you do not know his limits etc. Even if you cannot wait until you are married to have sex; at least wait until you know him completly and there is a committment. I hear so many people complain that their husband or boyfriend just wasn`t what he use to be. I ask them how early in the relationship they got physical and the average is 2-3 months after the first date. There is no way you can get to know each other in that amount of time. No wonder these people tie the knot and divorce within two years. Marriage and sex should be well thought out and not rushed into. If, however, you find the one and you know it is for you then go for it. Do not let anyone elses` unhappiness or experiences bring you down.
Think of this:
Just because your friend failed the test does not mean you will. Maybe you did your studying.

Ok, I was with my EX boyfriend for 4 years from the ages of 16-20. We were promised.TRUST ME! I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU FEEL!! PLEASE!~GO TO COLLEGE AND FINISH BEFORE MARRIAGE! I`M A JUNIOR AT PURDUE, I`M AM SO HAPPY WE AREN`T TOGETHER ANYMORE! HE TURNED ABUSIVE ON ME! THAT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU TOO! I didn`t want to listen to anyone else either! But please, there`s nothing glorious but the wedding day. Be independent, and finish college! GO GIRL!!! :)
Love from Purdue!

Again, not all cases are the same. I finished college. My husband is getting his masters right now. If your future husband is abusive, you will see signs before hand. For instance, was his parents abusive towards him? Toward each other? If he will not open up about these things, then marriage is not a good idea. If he does then he should be willing to go through counceling before ANY commitment is made. It is all about getting to know him and his past. Be nosy! You owe it to yourself to know everything about the man you plan on marrying.

Being married and going to college does not deny a woman of her independence. In fact, it does just the opposite. Put it all in God`s hands and his will will be done!

Hello! Your 19 and thinking of marriage. If you know that is what you want then go for it! Don`t let anyone tell you not to or give you excuses. I got engaged Dec.10, 2002, found out I was pregnant Feb. 4th, 2002 and got married March 26th, 2002. I was only 17 years old at the time when I got married AND your 19! I`m 18 years old now with a 2 month old and we live in a very nice, big 2 bed 2 bath apartment and we are doing just fine! I do not regret marrying my husband at all !Now, you aren`t pregnant that I know of and don`t have any babies now so it should be easier for you than it was for me at first. Go with your heart and what you feel and everything!

I think you should go for it! I got married at 18. Finances are tough, but that is life. Don`t let the negative people be an influence on you big decision. Good luck and God bless!

I am 19 but turning 20 in 22 more days! I have my wedding set in Oct of 2003, but may change to march 2004 so i will be 21. Basically if you know what you want then go for it. I have been going back and forth about doing this or not. The only reason why the wedding may be unitl march 2004 is b/c i wanted to finish college. We have not made the decision yet but eather way I love him and want to marry him. If you feel the same way go for it. Also if you need some one to talk to give me a holler at j3nnyz@yahoo.com Good luck!

Hey.... I think that if you are in love and it is true love..age makes no diff....But if u have any doudt then i suggest becarful and think it through..otherwise...go for it...Remember always live life to the fulist

Jen

Well, we have a great discussion going on! In my opinion I think you should wait until you know the guy for 2-3 years no matter what age you are. I was married when I was 19, and eventhough it worked out for me it did not work out for any of my friends. Marriage is not somthing to enter until you are positivly sure you will spend your entire life together. Why do you think that more than 50% of marriages fail? And let me ask you this, how do you know he is THE ONE? I know I have had 2 previous relationships that I thought we would be together forever, but they failed, I honestly thought they were "the one". What would I have done if I married them?
Eventhough it worked for my husband and I it does not always work out for the best. You have time to get to know your future spouse, so I would get to know them as long as you can until you get married.
I know you wont like this advice, I know I did not like anyone telling me that I should wait for marriage. But I wished that I would have waited to merry my husband a little longer, so I could have had more time to become a whole person before I was a committed couple. Too many of my friends I have known have gotton a divorce before they were 21 because they did not know their "one". I wish you luck in any decision you make. And no matter when you get married make sure you do everything to make it work.

If I were you I would take a little more time to decide on making such a commitment. Another 6 months or a year will definatly not hurt your relationship. You whole life changes when you get married. Take time to be individuals before being a couple.

I was married very young at 16. We were together a year before we got married and i was 4 months preg. We didnt care about being married, but our parents did . We figured we woudl be together whether we were married or not. So we went along with it now 5 years later and 2 childern later we are happier then ever and are about ot renew our vows. Dont listen to others jst your heart. Yes finiacially it was hard but now my husband is a successful computer tech and i am a manager a local company. Everyone who is young struggles fo r whatever reason that is jsut life.

I don`t know if you are still reading responses to this, but here is my opinion.

First, I do agree with those of you who have said that only you can decide when you are ready, and that age will be different for everyone.

But I would also recomend looking at your situation. First, 9 months in the grand scheme of things isn`t that long to have known each other. And if you are planning on being together anyways, whats another couple years of dating? I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and although I know I want to marry him someday, I still want to have fun with the dating stage of our relationship.

Also, I would seriously take into consideration the fact that you are in college. When my boyfriend and I started going out we made the agreement that school came first right now, no matter what. If our grades started slipping, or we started skipping classes to be with each other a little bit longer, then we had to end the relationship. Since then neither of us have gotten below a 4.0 for the quarter, its been good incentive. But for me personally, when I get married I want my marriage to be my number one priority, and if I got married right now, it couldn`t be. I need school to be my first priority and then once that is done, then I will get married.

I wish you the best of luck in whatever decision you make, and hope you enjoy your partner no matter what his title is to you.

I was 19 when I met my husband, we were married had 20 him 28. We had three kids in 4 years, had a great life a little mentaly abusive and controling, i`m 34 feeing like i lost my youth in those years of raising kids now age 13,12 and 9. All great kids, but i feel i missed something.... Currently seeking counciling on the urge of separation, hurting tremendously,like you never hurt before there is so many lives involved. Including my own. My advise is although its wonderful to have kids young and grow up with them be sure you`ve done what you`ve wanted because its a big sacrafice. So please approch marrage,haveing kids cautously or you could end up like me...lost in myself.
Thanks for listening.

I was married two weeks ago, and I will be 19 in three months. Neither of us feel the need to look any further. We`d been together over a year, and he`d lived with me and my family for five months before going to marine boot camp. We`d been friends for three years before we began dating, keeping in touch through his moves to different states. My family loves him, & his (big) family loves me. They were all encouraging and helpful through-out and are thrilled for us. We chose to marry so soon because we didn`t know when else we would have an opportunity because of this world conflict. Otherwise we might have waited. It doesn`t matter, you can`t fool yourself. You KNOW whether you`re fantasizing about a life together or you`re serious. You can change appearance and ideas, you can`t change who you are inside.Good luck comes to those who follow their hearts, but you should listen to the advice of people who see you two together, they can see things you may not.

Hey I am 19 too and my fiance is 30 we have been together for 2 yrs and I have never been so happy in my life. We are to be married in June and I think that if you know that HE is the right one for you then don`t worry bout ages I sure didn`t lol.

Depends on how you and your boyfriend feel. No one can answer that for you.

First off great of you to ask! Second only you and your fi know that answer. Ask yourself these question and have your fi answer also --
Is this what I really want?
Am I ready to commit myself to him for the rest of my life?
Is he ready to commit himself to me for the rest of his life?
Can we both say we believe we can handle marital conflicts or whatever shall come along?
What is that I want in life? What are my life long goals? Will marriage complicated my goal?
What does he want in life? What are his life long goals? Will marriage complicate his goal?----
You both should be able to talk to each other about any and everything. Secrets whether small or big can and in most cases will destroy a relationship, so honest is always the best pull, even in the smallest of cases. Another major area that needs to be discussed before marriage is children. How do plan to raised them? Unbelievable as it maybe a lot of marital conflicts are over children: when to have them, how many, how to discipline them, are you going to be a stay at home Mom/dad ect. Several things fall here...Financial trouble is always a big downfall in marriage. Don`t ever let money make your relationship. Something I`ve learned is that in some conflicts, if you both stop and he looks at it from your side and your vice versa, it makes more sense. Often conflicts aren`t really as big as they seem but you often don`t see that until it`s over. Think before you say something rash....we often say now then think and then feel terrible ... Thing is sometimes once the damage is done it just is. If he or you, are that angry it`s sometimes better to put off talking about it until you`ve had time to stop and think. I personally cant go bed angry not at anyone, I just think its a terrible way to start a new day.
As you can see, I am full of advice. I am sorry if I bored you. My parents have been my greatest influence on life. They have had their share of conflicts but have always managed to get around them. Many of my friends I have seen go through bad relationships and I have learned from them. Most believe with age comes maturity, I believe with life comes maturity...everyday we go through life learning at least one new thing a day if not more and those life experience, ground us to be a better person.

I know what it`s like for people to tell you "oh, your so young! or You haven`t even began to live" Just listen, it may not be what you want to hear but just hear them out. They may think they are discouraging you but often they are giving you more things to talk out with your fi. So their advice can help.

Feel free to email me anytime @ ColoradoKutie@aol.com lol :-) Hope I helped at least a bit!

Holly (19)

My mom got married when she was 15! And they are still together!

Follow your heart.
What do your/his parents have to say about you two getting married? (parents SOMETIMES can tell you if you are mature enough.)
Do you have enough money to have your dream wedding? (do it right the 1st time, too many girls look back and wish they would have spent more money on the details)
Do you have enough money for your honymoon?
Have you talked about having kids/how to raise them?
Do you both know each other`s dreams?
How do you handle money (money is a big factor on fights).
Are you done with schooling, and do you both have great careers? (College and marriage don`t always work out very well)
Have you had a disagreement, and how well did you both handle it?
Do you have a place to live, or will you live with parents?

These are just a few questions to ask yourself. Marriage should not be taken lightly. I was married when I was 19, and I think it was a mistake. We both are still happily married 4 years later, but I could have had a year or two to get to know who I was. If you two are meant to be together then you still will be together wether you are dating or married. And Marriage is not all that the movies make it out to be.

GOOD LUCK!

I understand what you are going through even though I am not in that exact situation. My fiance and I have been together 3 years and have lived together for 7 months and just got engaged in January. We are planning a March 2004 wedding. I am 22 and he is 21. Everyone tells us we should wait until we are done with school, but I feel we have waited. The first time we ever talked about getting married was after dating for 6 months but we both knew we weren`t ready to get married right then so we just kept dating and every once in a while we would talk about when/how we wanted to get married. When he finally did propose, even though we had discussed it, I was in total shock! I couldn`t believe it was happening!

Also, for those people who say to wait a long time:
I don`t know what the statistics are but I`ve always heard that couples that are together 6,7,8 years before getting married have a much higher divorce rate. What does that mean? They waited too long? I think if you know it`s right you should go for it.

Also, my fiance and I were each other`s firsts boyfriend/girlfriend and first person each of us had slept with. Don`t people also say you should experiment before settling down? I just waited until I found my love.

No matter what be true to your heart. If you want to wait he will understand and wait with you. Good luck!!

I think age has just little to do with what will make a marriage last. It depends on the maturity of both people. I have a friend who married last year when both her and her husband were 19, and they are perfectly happy. They just had their 1st child and I couldn`t be happier for them. They are both very mature people and knew what they wanted. I`ve always been very mature also, (I`m 23 and my fiance`s 28) but my fiance hasn`t. When we first got together (I was 19 and he was 23) he was still in "single/player" mode and I would never have thought to get married. And now that he`s older, he`s changed. Now we`re getting married July 2003. So, it`s the maturity of someone, not age. If you`re both mature and can picture yourselves with the same person for the rest of your life, then go for it. I wish you the best of luck.

I agree that age does not matter, however, I do believe very strongly that time invested in the relationship matters. I believe that at least 1 and1/2 years (2 or 3 is better) is needed to truly know someone. When you know your boyfriend`s daily routine, you know what he`s thinking, you know what makes him mad, how to tick him off, - when you`ve learned what makes you mad, how to argue with each other without yelling "it`s over", when you`ve discussed BOTH of your future plans and determined that they`re compatible and that one of you isn`t going to end up resenting the other for dreams that went unfollowed, then if you still love each other and can`t ever imagine referring to each other as the ex, then it`s time to consider marriage. If you never fight, then chances are you`re still in the honeymoon stage - we are all individuals with our own opinions, disagreements are inevitable. You do not want to have your first major fight as newlyweds. Without prior arguing experience, one of you will use the "D" word because you`ll think that marriage has ruined your relationship while in actuality, you`ll just be going through a normal relationship stage. I`ve been with my fiance since I was 16, I`m 22 now, recently engaged, and planning a wedding for next year. I`m just finishing school, I went away, but don`t regret it at all, our relationship was strong enough to survive the rough spots and now I`m positive it will survive marriage. So my advise to you is to wait another year, plan a wedding for the summer of 2004. This will give you more time to get to know each other and more time to plan the wedding - some of the churchs and banquet halls I looked into for may 2004 were all ready booked. I get the feeling that you need this time, or you wouldn`t be asking what other people think about marrying young. If you have any doubts, hold off and enjoy the relationship stage a little longer. I wish you the best whatever you decide to do. If you do decide to marry this summer, remember one thing, marriage is something that needs to be worked at, just like parenting, your career, your health, so if you truly love each other, never give up on that love.

I wish I had thought a bit more about getting married at the age of 18. I was married for 8 years, I am now 25 yrs old, separated and I have met my true soul mate. If you have thought about it and made up your mind stick with it. Marriage is a lot of work, but it has its rewards too.

I agree with most of these people don`t worry about what others think. If you truly love this man then you do what you feel is right. I`m 18 years old i`ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and he asked me on our 2 years dating anniversary hes 20 and we are going to wait for a year or so. But i really dont care what people say. Im happy for me and thats all that matters. My sister got married at 16 years old now shes fixing to be 21 shes been married for quite some time now and they have a 2 year old son and shes happy.

Hmmm.... A tough one! I have enjoyed reading what everyone has posted. I am 21 years old and have been with my boyfriend since we were 15.... So here`s my advice... If you are meant to be you still will be 6 years later.... There`s no rush. We are going to have degrees from Indiana University and be capable of starting a family and having a large wedding without being concerned about money. So on one hand I agree with everyone else when they say if you love him go for it, but I also agree with those who say don`t because if you are sincere about spending your life together you already will be even if you wait a few more years.... Good luck and best wishes.

I am sure you stopped reading these messages and worked out your answer by now,but I just stumbled onto this post while on another wedding message board.
I got married at 20 and a sophpmore in college when my "Now husband "joined the Army and was being shipped out.We will be married 28 years next week!!!
We talked about waiting until we were financially stable to get married, and that would be SOON...LOL!!!
Now our son is married and in the Army, and our daughter is finishing Grad School and getting married this month.Yes, we had some hard times, money wise,but now the kids are grown,we have the typical house in the Suburbs,4 cars,4 computers,4 T.Vs,4 phones...2 more of most things than we need.
But as they say Money can`t buy Happiness,and we have had fun stretching the $ going on picnics,to museums and historical sites.I`m sure you will too.
GO FOR IT!!!

Hello! So many good responses! As for my experience; I would wait. What bad will come out of another year? I was engaged "to the ONE" after 9 months...and good thing we waited! 9 months is just not long enough to know someone VERY WELL. Yes, it works for some people, but the divorce rate is very high and I can`t help to wonder what went wrong in the marriages...maybe if they would have known each other longer they would never had gotton married?

As for the people that said they got married 20 or 30 years ago and are still married; 20-30 years ago it was a different way of life. At 18 you were ready for marriage, you knew how to cook and clean, you matured faster! I know plenty of 20 year olds that can`t cook or clean...and I would be scared if they came to me and told me they were getting married!

As for myself, I was married 4 years ago when I was 19, and he was 20. If I could turn back the clock I would. I would still marry him, but I would have finished college, made something of myself, I would have saved up enough money to have my dream wedding and a decent honeymoon. I rushed into marriage and regretted it for a long time. It was so much harder to get an education, hold down a full time job and have any social life! We both have dreams that will never see the light of day.

But on the positive note, I knew we were ment to be together, and 4 years later we are extreamly happy! But we had a fair share of troubles, some which could have been avoided if we would have known each other a little longer before marriage.

GOOD LUCK!

I would like to ask why you think you want to get married now? Don`t just say because I love him. He will still be there when you finish college. Think about it this way.....I know this is bad...but what if.....something happened to him and you are stuck without an education. What happens to you then? Finish college, and then get married. Why be in a hurry. You have the rest of your life. Enjoy college. Being married and trying to go to school is too much for anyone to handle. It will make it alot easier on you to wait. I understand that you love him and want to spend the rest of your life together, but get your education out of the way so that if anything happens you will be able to support yourself and your family. I am 28 and getting married in October. I finished college and now have a wonderful job so that I will be able to support myself if anything does go wrong.

I am 16 years old and this summer i am thinking of asking my parents to allow myself and my man get married oh,, by the way did i mention my man is 4 yrs and 8 months older than me??age ain`t nothing. We are going on 2 yrs and we feel that the time is right

I say do what you all want, but what I did find funny was, half of the girls who are saying they are marrying young (16-19) have spelled the words "marriage, marrying, married, fiance" WRONG. Can I stress that education is important here?

LOL nina - I wasn`t going to say anything, but . . . . Yeah, I noticed. ;) I`m so glad I got my higher education (and then some) before settling into marriage - marriage is hard enough without the pressures of school on top of it (likewise, school is hard enough without marital issues heaped on).

I also noticed that most of those who said "Go ahead, get married at 19 after having known the guy for 9 months" were quite young themselves. Not that I wish to engage in ad hominem arguments, but, well . . . I guess I just have to wonder - what`s the big rush anyway? Relax. Enjoy courtship. Have fun. Sure, marriage is fun, don`t get me wrong, but it`s a LOT of hard work - much harder than courting. And why miss out on that period of your life to rush into marriage? *sigh* . . . But I`m sure many of the people we`ve heard from are simply going to have to learn from their OWN mistakes - telling them about ours doesn`t seem to sink in quite as much . . . I wish you the best, whatever you decide.

If you truely love him, than get married, i will be 19 when i get married next June. Yea i know alot of people say its too young, but to tell the truth i act like iam 30.. I`ve had alot of life-theartening ordeals in my life. So if you feel its right, than do it.. Dont let anyone else tell you what to do

My husband and I were both 19 when we got married. That was 32 years ago. I`m on this web site because the last of our 3 daughters is getting married, and I had a question. Finances were tough, and we went through some lean times, but both of us eventually completed college (with children at home), have carreers and homeownership. If you love and support each other, age doesn`t matter. And if it is RIGHT, then the length of time you have known each other or dated doesn`t matter either. We met, dated for 4 months and were married 6mos. After we met. The same happened to each of my other daughters, and they have been married 9 and 6 yrs. Respectively.
The oldest was 20 and the youngest 18. LOVE KNOWS NO AGE OR TIME!!

My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years just asked me to marry him and trying to decide wheather im to young we were gonna wait 2-3 years you know a long engagment do you have any advice for me

I don`t really think that age matters a whole lot when it comes to marriage. I have seen many young marriages go the distance.

However, what I will tell you is that there is nothing wrong with dating someone for a long period of time prior to marriage, and there is nothing wrong with a long engagement.

My fiance and I have been together for 6 years now and we are planning our wedding for June 2005! We will have beeng together for 8 years prior to marriage!!! I have known from the beginning that I wanted to marry him, and he knew that same. We just chose to devote ourselves to eachother without jumping into a marriage. The fact of the matter is that people change as they get older and many things in life happen. I think that it is better to wait for marriage until you are finished with school and the stresses that that brings.

No matter what you choose to do it is important that you think things through thoroughly! Make sure that you are confident in your decision as it truly is life altering!

I think the question one needs to ask herself/himself here, is, do i want the wedding or the marraige? ask yourself honestly, what is it that excites you most when you think about getting married? Is it the flowers? Is it the dress? is it the presents? or is it companionship? Love? acceptance? get married because you want the marraige, not because you want the wedding. Weddings will come whether you are 18 or 40, but marraige is a reality that needs to be faced with commitment and maturity. And as for getting married sooner because you want to wait until marraige to have sex (for those who believe sex before marraige is wrong), getting married because your horny is the worst reason of all to get married. I had 2 friends who got married (she was 17, he 23) before they had sex (they only dated 7 months before their wedding). They soon realized after they got married and had sex that they werent ready for marraige. They are now both brutally unhappy and are separated (only 6 months after their vows). So, if you love each other, there is no sin in having sex. It would be more sinful to decieve yourselves into a marraige simply so that you can experience sex. And no, i`m not easy, i believe sex should be saved for when your in love. I waited until i was almost 23 and had met a man who i loved. We now are engaged and have been together for 2 1/2 years. I don`t feel as though i`m a sinner.

Hey girl, don`t listen to what anyone says. I`m 19 and getting married as well. Just make sure that you`re getting married for the right reason. I took a few days away from my b/f, before we got engaged, and it really strengthened our relationship. If you love him, there`s no reason to wait to share your lives together

You will be a different person in 5 years. I say wait.
You have not even known him long enough to know if he is right for you. Ask Jesus... He will tell you what to do if you really listen