NEED ADVICE RE: BF HURTING FEELINGS
Was just wondering how I should handle this:
My best friend of over 15 years is getting married in March and when I started talking about being the matron of honor she cut me off and said she would be having her sister. (my best friend was my maid of honor)
I felt very shocked and extremely hurt by this. At least she could have had both of us.
They aren`t even as close as most sisters, and to top it off, her sister does not want to throw the shower/bacholerette party. Because she doesn`t care to have anyone else in the bridal party throw it - it has somehow become my responsibility. I really have no problem doing it. I would love to do anything for her, but I just feel like she already took that responsibility away from me by not having me as her matron of honor.
I don`t know whether to say something about how I feel on account of it`s her wedding day and I don`t want to sound like a whiney moaner, it`s just that it really hurt me.
I wondered, am I over-reacting and should I just keep my mouth shut and grin and bear it?
Posted by Janet; updated 10/28/02
Reply
I would try to just grin and bear it. I was reading in one of the bridal magazines that it is customary to have your sister as the maid of honor. Even though her sister does not seem enthused to be her maid of honor some family`s expect that sisters will be the maid of honor.
Posted by erica; updated 10/28/02
Reply
Weddings can be very stressful and she may be getting pressured, like I did, from her family. Even though it isn`t fair and she should have found a way to tell you before now she may not be thinking straight. But you don`t want to start a problem and stress her out over the most important event of her life. The event is about them.
I had this problem. The way I fixed was I had a maid of honor-my sister and a matron of honor- my best-friend. That way no one got there feelings hurt. And I could concentrate on more important things. I also had them where a lavender/ sliver color, while the rest of the bridesmaids wore a grape purple color. It made them both stand out more and made them feel special. But they all wore the same gown. It turned out to be beautiful. The contrast of the two colors together (light & dark) was awsome. The guys all wore black ties so everything came togther.
I know it`s hard my feelings would be hurt too but if you decide to approach her do it with caution. Take her to dinner tell her you want to talk to her, bring it up and no matter what she says don`t bring it up again. EVER. You could even give her my idea. Tell her you know she is under a lot of pressure and don`t want to add to it. Even if you do not like her answer be supportive of her wedding, be involved. You know you`ve done your part.
Kmartin1313@msn.com
Posted by Krista; updated 11/01/02
