NO DATE SET YET
Hello,
I recently got engaged (12-9-05) after six years into my relationship. While we are both happy, I want to start planning and brainstorming but he seems to have no interest. In actually setting a date. Whenever we are asked when the date is - he will reply, "Date for what?" or "Six years from today" - I suppose this is in jest. I am wondering if I should be worried - as he addressed some concerns to me a little while ago that he hoped would get better once we got engaged.
I have a grandmother who is 85 years old and it is important to me that she be there. I fear the longer he dances around setting a date, the more unlikely this will be.
Any advice?
Posted by BA; updated 01/16/06
Reply
He may not want to set a date because he may not want to get married. One way you might be able to find this out is to give him 2-4 dates to choose from and tell him to choose if he does not choose fish or cut bait. You have to ask yourself if he is not willing to pick a date are you willing to allow him to string you along. You need to talk to him and find out what his issues are with setting a date. And what the issues are that he thought would go away with being engaged because if there are issues on either side they will only get worse with marriage. Sit down and talk to him let him know that this is important to you. If he truly wants to marry you it will become important to him as well. I hope this helps...........GOODLUCK
If you have any other questions email me at allicow75@earthlink.net
Posted by Alli; updated 01/20/06
Reply
Men are like that. I would not worry. He did propose and that is a huge step, that most men will not take. He seems like he is in his "comfort zone" and doesn`t want to budge. With some men, it takes a little time. I would tell him, "If we can`t set a date together, then why don`t I set a date?" See what his response is. To tell you the truth, I couldn`t get my fiance interested at all. So I set the date. He isn`t into that sort of thing, and no day is any better to get married to him. Whereas we tend to think about things like that. So now, planning the wedding, I give him options on the big things, and he prefers to leave the little details up to me. I think that a wedding day is our dream and then men tend to want what makes us happy with no preference personally. I hope that I helped. Don`t throw away a 6 year relationship, over something that can be solved.
Posted by Elizabeth; updated 01/21/06
