Am I Too Young To Get Married?

Ok my opinion on this, first let me start by telling you that I am 31 not getting married until next year. My fiance is 38. Me personally I knew when I was young that I would not get married until at least 30.

I remember my ex telling me when we first got together that he wanted to get married by the time he was 25, my response to him was wont be to me. Needless to say I had to explain to him I had no intention of getting married until I was 30, I knew that mentally I would not be ready, trust me I was not ready at 18 or 25.

Back to your question though: my opinion is graduate from high school, get a college degree (both of you) and then talk about marriage, even if you don`t go to college I would at least wait until you are both 22 or older.

I had friends when I was growing up that got married young, some between 14-18 and within a year or so if not less they were heading to divorce court.

Too many young people use marriage as a means to get away from their parents because they think they are mature enough to be married and live their own lives, they learn in a short period of time that the rosy husband & wife and white picket fence they had in their head comes with a whole lot more.

If the two of you really are in love then time will not hurt the two of you. Be a kid and enjoy life don`t be in such a rush to grow up.

Best of Luck.

HI Rachel;

Marriage is a big commitment and nothing to play around with.. I am not saying that you are not seriouse about this but have you really thought it through? Your boy friend is only 18 right? At this stage of life his testostorone is HIGH. Will he be able to stay with one girl the rest of his life... Be intimate with you only? Most people your age that get married end up cheating or being cheated on. Your life holds so much to look forward to before marriage. College, Bars, Parties, Homework, living on your own.... When you hit that stage it`s hard to be with one guy only. I went through that. I am only 20 yrs old and engaged but I know it is the right thing for me and my fiance. We have both lived many things and had to grow up to fast... Experiences (like having children) makes you mature fast and grow up. I did not have the chance to live my teenage years for I had my daughter at 16, I was left raising her on my own while holding a job and going to school. If I could do it all over again I would do some things different. Don`t get me wrong I love my daughter and wouldn`t change her for the world. I wish I would have been able to live a little and have fun... Not be involved with guys... Most of the time they don`t stick around... They usually don`t mature until they are in their late 20`s. I would be glad to give you more advice if you are willing to take it.. My e-mail add is izzylace@hotmail.com I am not telling you that your thoughts and decisions are bad or wrong. Only you know what is right for your life.

Isabelle

Right now , you need to be thinking about your future far as education. You are not even old enough to date yet, so why marriage. Date others when you are old enough to see if he`s what you always dreamed of. I`m not saying he`s not the one for you, but learn the quality of been a child and growing into that special woman.

Rachel-

I understand how you feel. I meet a very special person when I was 15 and he was 16. We felt like we knew then that our relationship was unlike any other. Over time we grew together and have recently gotten engaged! It`s been 6 years but the time has flown by.

I tell you all of this to say that waiting works. As much as I thought I loved my fiance at age 15, it was but a shadow of what my love for him is today at 21. We will graduate from college in the spring and we couldn`t be happier. We know that our love is a mature love, not a love that will fizzle out with time.

Don`t be afraid to let yourself grow into the mature, strong woman that you can be. If he truly loves you, he will want you to work towards gaining independence.

Mandy

You a lot of people are saying that you are too young, but really there is a good chance that the two of you will be just fine. What is too young and you didn`t say right now, but get the age thing out of your head there are so many people older than you and getting married then divorced, so I say if he makes you happy and in vice-versa go with your heart and everything will fall into place the important part is staying together and loving one another. Good luck!

You are way too young. I got married when I was 21 and am now getting divorced. I read all of the posts from the happy newleyweds who are 20 and 21. I am intersted to know what their advice to you will be in three years. Don`t do it. You have so much living to do. I am happy that you are in love and happy but wait to get married. You have your whole life ahead of you.

At 14 yrs old you have not dated enough or have experienced life enough to make any life changing choices like this.

You havent lived on your own , paid your own bills, had your own checking account, paid for your own car, WHAT are you going to do for a career? You have SOOO much life to live and SOOO much growing to do . You have to find YOUR way in life.

I would also like to know what does a 18 year old man have in common with a 14 yr old YOUNG teen girl?? You are WAY too young !!!

My gosh I doubt you have even had a period yet .

You need to go to school football games, join the cheerleading squad, have slumber parties, go to dances with your friends, go to the prom,go to the mall, go to college.

Not plan a wedding at 14. Your friend is making a huge mistake as well. Just sit back and see how things are going to turn out for her and then ask yourself if that is what you want for yourself.

This is nothing more than a teen girl fantasy.

Okay first of all it is 7 years away stop worring about 7 years and focus on today. A lot can and will happen between now and then. Enjoy being a young lady and having fun. Now, after saying that I was married at 19 and am still married today 11 years later. Marriage is by far one of the hardest things you will ever go through in your life it is work like you will never believe it is not HOUSE. If you have to ask if you are to young then the answer is YES. Age does not matter my husband is 8 years older than I am so age means nothing it is maturity and knowing that you are ready. Amd at 14 you do not even know yourself much less what yourself will be in 7 years. Enjoy life the life you have now. I have a 13 year old and there is noway that she would be engaged or even talking about engagment at this age or even in a couple of years and me be okay with it. Of course she wouldn`t be dating a 18 year old either no matter how long they`ve know each other. Anyway I hope that you take advise that you have been given and enjoy your life right now.

If you all read what she said she`s not getting married until she is 21, also you can`t tell someone based on your own issues not to get married everybodies situation is different and as I stated before there are people well in their 30s, 40s that get married and divorced so what`s your point? Whatever happened in your marriage is your issue so don`t go feeding stuff to this girl if her mother has no problem with it what business is it of yours.

I met my husband when he was just 14 and I was 15 and we were married when I was 19 and he had just turned 18. We have been married nearly 25 yrs and together for 29 yrs. I am 44 yrs old now. My 21 year old daughter is planning her wedding for fall 2006.

My advice is to live your life and have fun. Do all the things girls your age do. If your relationship works out and you both want to still get married when you are 21 then maybe it was meant to be. I wouldnt make a commitment to get married to someone with a date 7 yrs from now.

A 18, I went off to college for a year and when things fell apart with my room mate (she got pregnant, married and later divorced) leaving me financially unable to continue at school so I came home and got a job. He wound up getting a fabulous well paying job and we felt that we were ready to get married and so we did. Do I regret it. Never. Would I do it again..........yeah I absolutely would but I think that marriage has to be worked at everyda and iIt isnt something to considerly lightly in any case. Too many marriages dont work out and everyone one of us going into marriage think that ours is going to work out but realistically more that 50% of all marriages fail. It has to be a well thought out decision between the two of you. Just know that many things change in 7 years.


Like I said in the beginning. Live your life and have fun...........if it works out and you get married in 7 yrs then wonderful.

Shelle

I don`t think 21 is to young to get married. I`m only 19 talking about getting married to someone who is 7 years older then me. I think marriage is a great thing between to people. But if you really want to get married to the person you LOVE should you really be asking if you are to young? Age doesn`t matter Love does. Thats what you need to tell yourself. If you love this boy then go through with it. I think you both are being very mature about all this and waiting until your 21. Unlike me I`m 19 and getting married so.....No I don`t think its to young for love.

I would love to talk to you more about your personal story. I am a TV researcher working on a new TV talk show , and we are doing a show on couples marrying young. Would you be willing to share your story?

Our TV host wrote on the show SEX & THE CITY and is a relationship expert. He will be able to answer some of your questions about marriage.

I got married when i was 16 to my best friend and lover at the time who was 7 years older than me. We had two children and we ended up getting divorced dec 2005 not because we hated each other but because we thought we got married way too soon. Now i am engaged but still have doubts on getting married again. It is hard to be divorced wth the kids because i went from seeing my kids all day everyday to everyother weekend. He got custody because he was older. I say wait. Getting married doesnt prove your love to him no matter what you still love him. Yall can live together for a while and spend time together and dont get pregnant! when you live with him you will get to see all the small things that men do that get on a womans nerves. I say do that first. If i would have lived with my exhusband for two years first then i would have gotten to see all his anoing things first and i would have never married him. Dont rush. Like my fiance now says we are supposed to get married july 21 2006 but i told him i am still scared you know what he told me. He said it doesnt matter when we get married and that he can wait a year or two more because those few extra years dont compare to the next 90 years that we will have together. Please take your time.

Ya that is true too we just dont get to do the get to know the parents thing my dad isnt around and his parents mom passed away and his dad lives far away. Yes you should spend lots of time together but when you live together you see all the things that he does when you wouldnt be there and sometines guys do stuff that women cant standfor example. When we didnt live together and just spent lots of time together he never farted but when we got together he couldnt just not fart so he let it rip all the time and i mean ever 15 min all day i dont care but some women cant stand that and i had a friend leave a guy for farting and burping all the time

If you have to ask the question you already know the answer.

Think about it.

Im 22 and my boyfriend is 23 and we have been together for almost 4 years. We are planning to get married within the next 2 years. We love each other very much and we have lived together for 2 years. In my opinion what keeps people together is their values, morals, and the effort they put into the relationship. Its not your calander age that matters its your mental age. My parents got married at 18 and they have a beautiful relationship and they are still very much in love. They adapted to change, overcame hardships, and worked together. Every relationship has problems and issues - its how you deal with them that gets you thru.
How smart are you when it comes to relationships? Do you both use common sense while having arguments, etc? How well do you know yourself? How well does he know himself? Answer those questions honestly. As for kids - dont have them until you are 100% healthy: mentally, physically, and in your marriage to your partner - you want to raise your kids right!!!
You are never too young to be married - just make sure you KNOW that you are in it for LIFE and be sure that you can get thru ANYTHING!!! GOOD LUCK!!!

Girl! age don`t matter.MY GOSH .Me&my husband met each other dec.95,and we finished school,but I didn`t go to collage cuz didn`t want to.My husband is a construction worker,We got married at 19,now we`re 271/2 yrs.old,we have 3 kids.and everyone on his side of his family said we werern`t gonna make it at all! we proved them wrong,gonna be 10yrs.now october 12th.You do what you feel what is right for you.Just cuz you get married young doesn`t mean your marriage is doomed a few years later,and who ever wrote that about guys not wanting to have sex with one girl ain`t true!!!! Marriage ain`t all about sex.Well,my husband and I wish you both goodluck,and don`t always listen to what other people have to say,beacuse it don`t always go the way that they think it will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Rachel,it`s me Maria.p.In my note I meant to say "9 years",pushed wrong button!have fun!