Living Together Before Marriage

Personally, I do think that you have a right to be upset because your daughter should have told you they were going to be living together prior to it actually occurring. Let`s look at this from a few sides though. What is it about them living together that upsets you? You say that ladies don`t live together before marriage. Is it that ladies don`t have sex before marriage or the actual act of sharing a roof that upsets you? Would it make you feel as though your daughter were more of a lady if she was having sex before marriage without sharing a roof? The fact is, children grow up and they don`t always follow the guidance of their parents. Perhaps you don`t agree with her decision, but it is still her decision to make. A wedding is a celebration of 2 people who commit their lives to one another and want to share that with their friends and family. Just because they have chosen to live together before their wedding doesn`t mean that they shouldn`t be allowed to share their joy with their family. If you would have paid for your daughters wedding if they didn`t live together, why not pay for it now? You can disagree with her decision, you can be hurt she didn`t tell you before, but either way, she is still your daughter and she still has the right to stand in front of her friends and family and pledge her love to this man. Remember, if your reasons for disagreeing with her premarital sexual relationship and living arrangements are for religious reasons, God forgives his children for their sins, so why not you?

Being too strict.. Hello, its 2005, this is not that unusual.

I understand that you are upset by your daughter`s decision, but I believe that you are also being too strict. I am a strong believer that living together is not a bad idea. It is especially hard in some places to afford a place to live. Living together and splitting the rent/mortgage can actually help the couple start off more financially sound. Just keep in mind that you have given your daughter a great set of morals, but she might not agree with ALL of them. She is an adult and will (and should) make her own decisions...by trying to stop the wedding or not paying, you run the risk of losing your relationship.

I think that it makes no sense to live together before marriage. The reason marriage was made in my opionion is to protect the rights of both sides. When people sleep around with every tom, dick and harry, stds spread, children are born not knowing who their father is (and sometimes not knowing who their mother is), family ties are broken, and sometimes extended family is not known.

If God meant for ppl to live without getting married first, than why is it not allowed in all the major religions (Judiasm, Christinanity, and Islam)....

Well i want to place my opinion and i want to start by saying i respect everyones opinion so please respect mine. I have been living with my fiance since we were engaged in april. Just because you live with them dont mean your sleeping with them you can still save your self for your wedding night. Thats where people go wrong by judgeing ppl who live together oh god there screwing around what sinners......
When actually they are just every day ppl sharing a roof with each other the same thing that will occur when there married.
If you wanted to judge ppl for leaving with each other i v see more wrong with ppl living together who arient engaged or at that time in ther relationship than the ones who are just beacuse at least we actually plan on spending the rest of our life together not just a night or two.
Thats just the way i feel and just like the other girl said this is 2005 and as bad as you hate to admit it things have changed and dramatically todays society nothing shock me any more. So to the mother of the bride to be dont judge her love her share her joy and accept the changes that the world brings. Shes going to marry the man why not let her share her love with him under th e same roof a few months sooner than that after her wedding. Dont hold the money ordeal over her head either because thats scaring her not helping she needs you and this should be the most exciting time for you, planning your baby girls wedding. So go ahead forgive her and accept her and you will feel much better in a few months when there walking down the isle and exchanging vowels that you did take part in such a beautiful experence between two individuals.

I can understand that you would want your daughter to marry first (some use the phrase why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free) however I do not feel this rule has to apply to everyone. If the indivdual feels that it is better to wait then by all means go with your gut, but if that person would rather live with he/she before hand I feel that this should not be looked down upon.

I live with my fiance (and we will wed sept 9, 06) but again it`s what we feel comfortable with. It`s worked well for us and we have already experienced living toghter, merging his household items as well as income in addition to all of the other topics that comes in to play when you live with someone else,.So for me it was better to deal with these things first before hand. The only thing I can say is to voice your concern but at the same time respect her opinion