Dear Helping From Parents Not Attending Wedding
You seem to be more interested in feelings than doing the right thing. I talked to 3 ministers and 2 rabbis and they said that I should not go. A wedding is not only a joining of the bride & groom but both families. By going to the wedding says that you support the union. I have gone to close to a 1000 weddings and if you listen to the service you will understand. Case workers for Dep of domestic abuse and dept of human services say that your daughter can end up dead with this guy. My decision is based on fact not feelings. I have researched deeply into this subject and am always surprised on how someone can have a solution with in seconds of understanding the problem. I am frustrated with that fact that my daughter is not going to realize the mistake she is making until to much time has passed for her to do much about it or even bring an innocent child into the picture. She will never be able to stand on her own, set goals and do something positive in her life. She can`t rely on others to make her happy or be responsible.
Posted by Darrel; updated 08/01/05
Reply
Darrell, I understand what your going thru and what your saying. I have NOT been in your shoes, I was in the other shoes, THE ABUSED! 13 agonizing years. People say: How could you stay in something like that? Well if you have never worn these shoes, you don`t understand. Do you know that women who have worn these shoes don`t ask the question,Why? They know.
I worry about your daughter, and know why you worry and you have every reason to worry. I can bet you dollars to donuts he has already abused her. He has told her not to listen to her family. Has belittled her to the point of her thinking she needs him. You will be the last to know. She will try everything to hide things to show you your wrong,and not tell you because she will be to ashamed. She is sadly mistaken if she thinks she can change him, it`s not going to happen. At some point he may even refuse for her to see her family, and she will do it out of fear. You need to watch for signs, and if you don`t go to the wedding, don`t lose touch with your daughter, it`s the only way can watch for and listen to the signs.Somewhere down the road she will need you. Maybe if you could get her to listen to some one who has been there, group, organization, anyone.
Let me know if you need to chat more, Take Care Sandy
Posted by Sandy; updated 08/01/05
