My Fiancee Left Me!!! Help (sob)

Ryan I`ve got it!!! You need a lap dance and a martini! I swear! I broke up with a guy once and I was really sad. My guy friend took me to a strip club to chear me up, and boy did it!!! It was a female strip club. It was great I recomend it. You need a beer too.

Yeah, thats a great way to get over a break up, with cheap women and getting loaded. So what do you suggest for when he wakes up the next day broke, hung over and feeling worse than ever? Do it all again? Nancy, you offer no valid or useful advice to this poor guy, stop posting crap like that. Not everyone comes from your fabulous trailer park lifestyle.

Dana, why dont you give it a try then. At first I felt sorry for him. Now its just plain stupid. I care ofcourse thats why I still post but Im so sick of seeing these messages. I wish he`d stop and realize we`re all trying to help. I think he just wants attention. Oh and I find it funny that you think I come from a trailor park when you have no idea! Does my name sound white and trashy to you? Oh, was that stupid? Exactly my point. You dont even know my backround. Its not gonna hurt him to have a drink and a lap dance for god sake! Are you engaged? Have you heard of bachlore/bachlorette parties? Men do it all the time. They are both legal and here for fun. However taking it too far is another thing.
Ryan,
Its going to take a while, maybe even a long while, but you need to begin the healing process. "Its better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all."

Ok Im done here. Please do not reply to my messages. Im done. Good luck. I know I say things in lame ways but I mean well. I do care about people even though I may not know who they are, like you. I was brought up by good parents. I know it seems like its the end of the world, but really its not. I think you need to focus on trying to figure out what you did wrong and if you did do anything wrong. Maybe you were too clingy, maybe you were too nice. It is possible. Women are very emotional and crazy alot of times. Men are usually here to stabelize us, balance us. Thats how I feel about my fiance. If your too nice to a woman she might take advantage of that. You need to be the man and know when to put your foot down. Take control of the situation. Know how and when to say No. My fiance and I have that 50/50 thing going. He used to be alittle too nice until I had a problem with it. He finally started saying no to me and being more aggressive. Which is exactly what I needed for my personality. Otherwise I`d be demanding things left and right. He would be my B****. So thats the bottom line. Focus on yourself.

Anyhow, Nancy. You are mean. Thanks to everyone for their caring. I just had a really bad weekend, very emotional. I`m not really that suicidal most of the time. I`m sorry if I made anyone mad. I`m just being honest about how I feel, whether it`s "weak" or not. I know I have to move and, I`m doing the best I can. People on this board have shown sympathy and have given me good advice. Some of you even seem to care. Thank you for those gifts, they help me to cope.

I miss her. I MISS her.
I miss her.
I`m losing myself.

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I`ve done a lot, god knows I`ve tried
To find the truth I`ve even lied
But all I know is, down inside
I`m bleeding

....and crawling on the planets face,
Some insects called the human race,
Lost in time, lost in space,
And meaning....
Rocky Horror Picture Show

I hope you are feeling better these days. Here`s a new one for you Ryan..."It`s better to have loved and lost then to have lived with the biatch for ever". Think about it! Good Luck. Xo

Don`t call her that. I still love her.

I have cried for her so much this week that my eyes actually hurt. I have been crying so violently in my sleep that I wake myself up. I`m scared to go to sleep, scared of the dreams of her.

I think about suicide for hours every day. I almost lost control of my car at 90mph this week, and it was not accidental. I wasn`t looking at the road, I don`t remember if my eyes were even open.

I`m not good enough for the woman I love. The pain is too much. I can`t take it anymore. People say that the pain lessens over time, but it is a lie!! It only gets worse.

I have to leave this place. I think I`m almost ready to leave.
~Ryan

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Give me back my steel,
Give me back my nerve,
Give me back my youth
For the dead man`s curve.
For that icy feel when you start to swerve,
Give us back the love that we don`t deserve....

John Hyatt
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You are seriously flipping out, go check yourself into a mental hospital, nobody can do anything for you if you cant do anything for yourself. I usually read your posts because quite frankly I find them amusing. But you are either looking for attention or need profesional help.
I must say I dont blame your fiance for leaving you, most ladies like a strong, confident man. Go back and read some of your last posts, would you want someone like this. Wedding message boards should hold positive notes go find a suicide board, or something more in tune with your needs.

Ryan,
I fell in love with the WRONG man two years ago. When we broke up I thought I would die. I was sick, couldn`t eat couldn`t sleep, I thought about him constantly. Finally I got up and brushed myself off, life had to go on with or with out him. I leaned on my friends for support dated a few more losers and finally fell in love with the right man. We got married last month. I know everything sucks right now, certain songs, movies you loved before, laughter. I promise it will get better, you have to want to get better. I know you probably think she was the perfect woman for you, maybe she wasn`t. I`m sure you loved her and that you still do. You always will. You are only as miserable as you allow yourself to be. Who ever said it was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved before probably hadn`t ever been really hurt before. One day you will look up at your beautiful soul mate, your wife and thank God for all the prayers he didn`t answer to bring her back. Love is out there real honest good love. It will find you. Until then maybe you do need to talk to someone, there is no shame in that. Best of luck Ryan.

I AM SO SICK OF PEOPLE RESPONDING TO THIS THREAD, ESPECIALLY YOU RYAN. GET A FREAKING LIFE RYAN AND MOVE ON. YOU ARE PATHETIC. EVERYONE GOES THROUGH A HARD BREAK UP IN THEIR LIVES, BUT YOU NEED SERIOUS HELP. PEOPLE KEEP GIVING YOU ADVICE AND YOU DO NOT LIKE IT, SO WHY DID YOU WRITE IN THE FIRST PLACE? SO YOUR EX COULD SEE THIS AND FEEL SORRY FOR YOU? IT HAS BEEN MONTHS, MOVE ON. I SEE WHY SHE BROKE UP WITH YOU, YOU ARE A FREAKING BASKET CASE. I FEEL SORRY FOR THE NEXT GIRL THAT COMES YOUR WAY. YOU SURE COME ACROSS AS ONE OF THOSE PSYCHO KILLER EX-BOYFRIENDS. GET A LIFE AND A NEW HOBBY!!

I understand what you are saying Gina and you are right on when you say "get a new hobby". If, and that is a BIG if, you WANT relief from your grief, you must take ACTION Ryan. Wallowing in dispair only breeds more dispair so really, get a new hobby, get a new life, volunteer for a group who needs your energy. Put all that energy you are wasting crying into something that results in good things FOR YOU. Learn to play the guitar (now there`s a chick magnet!), learn to speak Spanish, learn how to raise chickens. Whatever turns your crank. You are wasting WAY too much energy for NOTHING IN RETURN. Get that straight!! If you do nothing to HELP YOURSELF, then in fact you do not WANT to feel better. There is an expression "Act as if..." act as if you are happy, act as if you are enjoying yourself, act as if you are ok, and you know what? you will find, in spite of yourself, that you are happy, you are enjoying yourself, you are ok. All of the suggestions posted to you require ACTION on YOUR part....the rest is UP TO YOU. Do you want to get/feel better or not???????????

"Oh don`t talk of love" the shadows purr
Murmuring me away from you
"Don`t talk of worlds that never were
The end is all that`s ever true
There`s nothing you can ever say
Nothing you can ever do... "
Still every night I burn
Every night I scream your name
Every night I burn
Every night the dream`s the same
Every night I burn
Waiting for my only friend
Every night I burn
Waiting for the world to end

The Cure

Ryan;

Everything happends for a reason.. That`s what they all say and it`s true. Things also always get worst before they get better. Your fiance had her reasons, weather she got cold feet, or just didn`t think it was the right thing to do. You have to respect her decision and move on. I know it`s hard trust me. But you have to remember that you cannot give up... That something good will eventually come out of it. It takes time and that`s the hard part. I`m sure you will be ok. I`m positive that everything is going to look up for you in the future.. Kepp your head up high and your options open.

I actually met a new girl I really like this weekend. She is crazy too, lol. Mmmmmm she is a professional chef, and we have a lot of common interests. She is freaky, omg. Rebounds are helpful, I think. I still miss my the other girl terribly though. She was wonderful.