My Fiancee Left Me!!! Help (sob)

Get over it!! Its not the end of the world!

That is so mean, Nancy. Maybe it doesn`t mean anything to you, but for me it is the end of the world. You must have a really cold heart not to understand that.

No as a matter of fact I have been in alot of relationships and have had some horrible break ups. It wasnt untill then did I really find out what I wanted out of life and out of a man. The very next relationship I had after that, I met the man of my dreams. I have been with him now for 5 years and we are engaged and I`ve never been more happy and inlove. Im sorry if I made you feel bad. Im just very experienced when it comes to people and men in relationships. I should be a councilor or something. I am very blunt. I dont know how else to put it. But do you really think that crying every day is helping you? You need to get over it asap because the sooner you figure it out the sooner you`ll be able to breath again with ease. She probably doesnt even give a **** about you right now and thats also why she did what she did. You dont need a person like that! There are so many more women in the world who are probably just dying to meet a man just like you. Also I think maybe your too nice. I mean TOO nice. And that usually doesnt work with women. You need to know when to put your foot down. I dont know where your from but I recomend listening to Dr. Laura Schlessinger on the radio. Or buying one of her books. I think it would help you alot. But please for the love of god move on with your life!!!

I don`t deserve this. She was my best friend, and the love of my life. I gave her everything I had to give. I put my future and my dreams and my love in her hands, and she threw them away like they were garbage, like she didn`t even care. I feel mutilated. I don`t want to live anymore. I just wish I could end the sadness and the lonelinesss. I want to die. Why doesn`t she love me anymore? I miss her so much, and she won`t even talk to me anymore. She`ll probably be out dating some other guy on the night we were supposed to be wed. I just wake up crying every morning. I`m seeing doctors and taking drugs that are supposed to help, but they don`t. I can`t go on like this. I feel like I`m a peice of garbage, and my life has no meaning. I feel like the rest of my days stretched out before my are just an endless suffering with no sunshine or happiness.

You have to move on. I read your original post back in May. Its time to stop dwelling on the pain. Your a big boy, you have to act like it. Stop living in the past and look forward to the future. Is this what you pictured when you grew up? Being a depressed, suicidal, drug taking lonely person? She probable left you because you are too needy. She sounds like a bitch anyways. Screw her. Your just giving her the satisfaction of hurting you by trying to talk to her and still being so depressed. Gotta move on man, gotta move on.

Are you kidding me? Look, stop listening to sad music on the radio. I think it would help you alot if you started listening to rock music. That used to help me when I was trying to get over a break up. Stop calling her cause your only gonna anoy her. Maybe she needs time to think. Maybe you can work things out. But you NEED TO STOP!!! trust me Ive been in your situation more than once. I regreted calling him every hour of the day for months. He ended up hating me. Trust me. Where are you from? are you a good looking guy? Im sure you can find someone else. Dont you have friends? or something? quit feeling sorry for yourself. Be strong. Have some dignity for god sake!

Nancy,

Sounds like you don`t have a lot of compassion

I think you deserve better, but you have to realize everything in life happens for a reason maybe it is for the good or bad you`ll just have to wait in see. I don`t think you should get back with her because if she can`t survive hard times to get to the good times she would probably have done you worse. All for the better. She could have had someone on the side for her to pick up in go like that. I would have waited it out with you.

I am so sorry about what happened. Time will heal things though. I am praying for you! Good luck.

As difficult and painful this is right now, know that there are reasons for everything. There are no chance meetings, no relationships (good or bad) that did not happen for a reason. Your special someone is out there for you...this break-up was meant to be...you will know why sometime in your future. Until then, grieve, but remind yourself that you are not alone, that somewhere in this world, others are feeling the same pain you are...but that your special someone is out there and when the time is right, you will meet.
I will think of you often.

Thanks to all of you. It helps to have your support. This morning was really hard, I had a really intense dream about her last night, and woke up and cried for about an hour. I`m really depressed right now. I really miss her. I always feel better in the afternoons and evenings though. I`ve met a lot of girls who have shown interest in me, but I`m just not able to respond to them, I just don`t even have any interest in them. I think I might buy some sort of mp3 player this weekend, rock music really does help (and the guy in the cubicle right next to me always talks SO LOUD). I wish he would shut up already, lol.

I miss her so bad. I`m so lonely! I can`t let go.

So I read this yesterday and thought of you.

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn`t want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that`s not meant to
Be. Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly
Happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
Deserve then heck no, you can`t "be friends." A friend wouldn`t mistreat
A friend.
Don`t settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don`t
Stay because you think "it will get better." You`ll be mad at yourself a
Year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who`ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn`t marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you
Any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you,
Speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man`s behavior. Change comes from within.
Don`t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he
Has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing
Less. Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else`s man. If he cheated with you, he`ll cheat on
You.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way
Street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute
About baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new
Relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship
Consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not
Supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn`t turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and
Your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother`s house.
Never co-sign for a man.
Don`t fully commit to a man who doesn`t give you everything that you
Need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

I know its about men but I thought alot of these can apply to women too. Think about it.

Then dont let go and keep thinking of her. Keep crying yourself to sleep and keep listening to those sad songs. Keep posting measaged for people to feel sorry for you. OR... Try and forget about the bad things. Look on the bright side. She is not right for you because if she was she wouldnt have left you. I belive she did you a huge favor. I garantee you, you will really meet a woman who will make you happier than you could ever even imagine. Its in your future. Trust me I know. The sooner you pull yourself together the sooner you`ll meet woman you were really meant to spend the rest of your life with. That should sound great to you.

I can`t do this anymore. I`m not getting over her at all, and it`s been almost 2 months. I can`t take the pain anymore. I can`t take the dreams, and the crying, and the loneliness. I think I`m going to buy a gun this week.

::crying::

Then do it. Give up. If you actually think theres no point in living anymore. Shes gonna think your a real winner, and so is everyone else. Dont forget that you`ll also go to hell for that. You just want attention.

Okay Ryan, even I can say that sounds like a cry for attention. You must be an extrmely needy and co-depentant person. She stomped all over you and you cry and want to take your life? You need proffesional help, not a message board. I have been very patient and have tried to help but its going no where. You just don`t listen or try to make life better. Do what you have to to make the pain go away. If that means commiting suicide, then thats pretty pathetic. Not to mention selfish and mean to all the people who DO care about you, and not that BITCH you called your girlfriend. Shes not worth any of this, and you know that. STOP dwelling on it. You know, there are MUCH worse things in life than breaking up with someone. How about getting cancer or aids, or losing a loved one in the war or to something just as horrible? How do you think people who have been married for 30 years feel when they divorce? I can bet its much worse than what you`re feeling, and they persevere, they move on. No one said the pain would go away overnight, but if you keep dwelling on it, and keep thinking about it, it will never go away. Shes not coming back. Face it. Wake up and move on. It wasn`t meant to be. And if you are doing this to hope she`ll feel sorry and see the error of her ways and come back to you, you`re wrong. Your just making her resent you even more. And do you know shes probably screwing lots of other guys, laughing at how pathetic your acting, making her have even more fun at your expense? I hate to be so mean because I know how you feel, but even widows move on faster than you. People who post stuff like "I`m going to buy a gun" are just asking for attention, and I am not going to pay it anymore. Good luck to you Ryan, hopefully you`ll grow up and realize that suicide is no solution to any problem.

At least you don`t have any kids...you need to get off a wedding message board and onto a singles board. You`re a man, there`s less men than women, do all those single ladies a service and go get you one of them already!!!!

Ryan,
So sorry about your loss. All I can do really is pray for you. Being more spiritual has helped me tremendously but that does not come easily to everyone and sometimes needs initiation.
You can call me whenever you feel low. Just email me if you need my phone number.
-Jo

Ooh and my email is jyothsna_nair@yahoo.com