My Fiancee Left Me!!! Help (sob)

Dear Ryan,

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. It may be a case of panic on the part of your fiance because alot of the pressures of wedding details and the event itself is put on the bride, so she may just be reacting to all the outside pressures and it probably has nothing to do with you. I would give it some time and give her some space to try and resolve this.

Hope you feel better.

Georgia

I really don`t have anything to say to make it all better...I can only imangine how much you`re hurting right now.
Just wanted to say that I`m sorry you`re going through this and I hope that things are able to be resolved. Hang in there!

So she`s gone now, took all her stuff from our house. I thoroughly emberassed myself pleading with her to stay, telling her it was a mistake.

She says she still loves me, and I was able to get her to take the ring with her. Maybe I can just get that kickass job now that I have my BSE degree, and prove to her that money is going to be a non-issue in the future.

Her parents told me that she said she just wanted a month to herself, to mull things over, and that there is still a chance for me to prove myself.... But I`m so worried that I`m just getting my hopes up. What do I do now? Thank you all so much for caring!

Ryan

Sounds like you really love this girl with all your heart. If she walks away from that for good, then maybe you are too good for her and you will find someone who can appreciate your kindness and love.Does she deserve you?I hope it does work out for you two if she can learn to appreciate what you have and not walk away from it. You might try reminding her of what she really has instead of begging for her. Finding someone you would consider spending the rest of your life with doesnt come along every day I hope eventually she will wise up.

I have been able to get a few hours of sleep today. I had a dream that she told me the wedding was back on and that we were gonna move back in after the wedding. I felt like a new person, and in my heart I was so sure that this was right and that it would work out!

Then I woke up and realized it had all been a dream. It`s like the breakup keeps happening over and over and its all I can think about. Oh my god it hurts so much! I don`t know if I can ever be happy again. I thought it would get easier with time, but it just seems to be getting worse.

She wrote me an email today telling me not to get my hopes up, because she read this posting on this site. She also said she still loved me and cared deeply for me, and that she loved the ring (which I found out she did leave behind).

I feel like the hope is all I have left of her. I still just can`t beleive this is happening. Do you think she`ll come back to me? I`m trying to be strong and move my life forward, but every now it just boils to the surface and there is nothing I can do but cry. She`s all I can think about when I try to sleep.

Anyhow, thanks to everyone for their comments. Somehow it does help knowing there are people out there listening, at least. I know I should just give her more time and space, but not knowing what is going to happen is just ripping me apart. Does anything help the heartache?

Ryan

I love this song.

Joe Nichols (That`d Be Her)

Have you ever seen a river ragin` in the spring
Rushin` down a mountain fast as anything
Well, if you can picture that wild water
That would be her,
Only deeper

Have you ever seen an eagle soaring high above the trees
Circling the world below
The epitome of free
Then you could imagine how I feel when I`m beside her
Only higher

I`m flying, I`m falling, I`m floating
And all I want to do is hold her
Closer and spend every day that passes
Thinkin` up new ways to love her more

If you`ve never had a vision
Of what perfect love would be
Just close your eyes and dream a dream
That just gets sweeter, an` that would be her

I`m flying, I`m falling, I`m floating
And all I want to do is hold her
Closer and spend every day that passes
Thinkin` up new ways to love her more

If you`ve never had a vision
Of what a perfect love would be
Just close your eyes and dream a dream
That just gets sweeter, an` that would be her

Just close your eyes and dream a dream
That just gets sweeter, an` that would be her

Ryan

Hi Ryan,

It is ok to cry. You sound like a great guy. As time goes on, it will be revealed to you why things worked out this way. Take what ever time you need to heal and know without a shadow of a doubt that better days are soon to come. Don`t hesitate to rely on the support of family and friends. Be encouraged.

Ryan,
I am so sorry about what you`re going through.
You asked does anything help the heartache. Yes, there is......FAITH
Faith that you will be happy again no matter how much you`re hurting now
Faith that there is someone out there for you that maybe you haven`t met yet
Faith in yourself - you shouldn`t have to prove to someone that you are worthy because I`m sure you are & if she can`t see that than she doesn`t deserve you

I was with a guy for eight years who one day up & left me without any warning at all. I was completely paralyzed & distraught for months. Looking back, I`m so glad that it happened because now I`m with the most wonderful guy ever who appreciates me the way I am.
So just believe in yourself & that things will get better because they will!
I know the hurt is terrible & it does take time but you will get through it.

Take care : )

Ryan,

This will sound cruel but you have to swallow the pain and get in control of your emotions. Marriage is a union of two people where both appreciate each other equally and do not wish to hurt one another. Your ex telling you that she still loves you after leaving you just shows that she is enjoying seeing you hurt, every moment of it. If you keep on whining, you`ll lose the rest of your self-esteem and this will not work anyway because no relationship can be built on insecurity or pity. It may hurt now, but trust me - you`ll be fine! People go through these things, they learn from their experiences and become stronger and more desirable. Screw her ( and I hope she is reading it) - go out, have fun, meet people! Fix your financial situation, do things for yourself! If the two of you are meant to be - you`ll eventually work it out, if not - Life is Beautiful anyway!
Best of Luck to you.

Just remember this as you try to get through this and heal:

"What doesn`t kill you only make you STRONGER."

If it is meant to be, it will be.

I think that she was waiting for a long time for you to propose. I also think that she wanted you to propose and then for her to leave you, just to show you how much it hurts to love someone and not do anything about it. Woman can do this kind of things. We love to see someone suffer for us. It is her time now.
It may not be your fault but just think about it. What would you do if you waited 5 years for her to go out with you. It is the same thing for us.
Re: financial situation some women don’t understand that man have to pay for the ring and that starting a family requires more money. No mater how much you know someone there is always the weird side of them that you would never understand.
I am telling you all of this because I think you sound grate and you should move on with a new attitude. You can’t make someone be yours if they don’t want that.

You all are so wrong. She never wanted to hurt me! She loved me! It`s all over now, and my life has collapsed like a house of cards. I feel like half a person.

I`m dying and I don`t even care anymore. I just want to end the pain. I want to find the most beautiful sculpture in the world and smash it into a thousand peices, because thats how I feel.

Ryan

_________________________________
Otis Redding
"I`ve been loving you too long to stop now"

I`ve been loving you too long to stop now

You`re tired and you want to be free
My love is growing stronger, as you become a habit to me
Oh I`ve been loving you a little too long
I dont wanna stop now, oh
With you my life,
Has been so wonderful
I can`t stop now

You`re tired and your love is growing cold
My love is growing stronger as our affair [affair] grows old
I`ve been loving you a little too long, long,
I don`t want to stop now
Oh, oh, oh
I`ve been loving you a little bit too long
I don`t wanna stop now
No, no, no

Please don`t make me stop now
No baby
I`m down on my knees Please, don`t make me stop now
I love you, I love you,
I love you with all of my heart
And I can`t stop now
Don`t make me stop now
Please, please baby don`t make me stop now
Good god almighty I love you
I love you, I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you
I love you in so many different ways...
I love you in so many different ways....

Dude...she is JUST a person. How can you lose yourself to a person, such as yourself. Get a grip

Ryan,

I think that instead of being sad and depressed, you should be angry and resentful. What kind of person just leaves someone after 5 years with no warning? Thats just COLD and HEARTLESS. Scared or not scared, thats the immature way to handle it; shes obviously not good enough for you. You need to find someone who shares your love, passion and devotion. And I hate to say it, but is there a chance there is someone else in her life? Does she even give you a good enough reason as to why she just left you and your home together? That takes planning and alot of thought. She was cold and cruel and is obviously self centered. I know its hard right now, but know that you are awesome and so much better off without someone so mean and cold. I bet the girls will be banging down your door when you are ready to move on. If I were you, I wouldn`t take her back without a DAMN good reason as to way she pulled the drama stunt she did. Nobody deserves what she did to you. Take it day by day, and just remember you deserve so much more than what she obviously had to offer. Go out, have a good time with friends and family and try to move on, everything in life happens for a reason. What doesn`t kill us makes us stronger, and my friend Ryan, you will have the strength of 10 when you realize what a blessing in disguise this could truly be. Please don`t be offended by the things I`ve said, I just hate hearing sad, cruel things like this happen to what seems to be great people.

I tried to kill myself last week. I can`t let go of her and it feels like I never will be able to. I`m sure there was no one else in her life, but undoubtedly there will be in the future, and that just kills me. I just want her back! I just want her back.
I slept in our old house again for the first time last night. It is so hard. Isn`t there anything I can do to make her come back to me? Every night I dream of her. Every single night.

HI Ryan,

I completely understand your pain, I do. Serveral years ago I had a similar experience, and I too, thought of killing myself. Then I thought to myself about all the other people in my life that love me, and how selfish committing suicide is, how cruel it is to put lots of people through the pain you are going through over one person. But in your case, she`s not dead, she could come back over time, but you wouldn`t if you were dead. You CAN live without her, no person is worth suicide. I know it feels like 10,000 knives in your heart, and you wake up from what little sleep you`ve got and for one minute you forget the pain, and then it happens all over again when you realize that she`s gone. I know this cause I`ve lived this. Now I am getting married to someone else, who loves me completely. I am so happy and I can realize now that the person I once loved, was not for me. That he was selfish with my love and didn`t have good understanding of what love is. There are people out there like you and I. Support groups. FInd one and in time, you will eventually heal, and realize life works out in mysterious, but good ways. I am incredibly lucky to have met this person, and if I had killed myself, I wouldn`t have got to meet him. Please understand Ryan that it will take time to heal and to love again, but you can and you will if you let yourself heal. Spend lots of time with family and freinds, have them stay over with you at the house you once shared. If you own the house, I suggest selling it. It will only keep the pain real. Buy a home for YOU, get a pet. I have 2 dogs that really make me smile everyday. If you need to talk, feel free to vent. We are hear to listen.

Kathleen

I feel like I have already died, and I`m now undead. Nothing matters to me, I`ve wasted so much money trying to keep myself distracted, futile. I found a note that she left me just a few days before she left. It says"I love you" with three exclamation points. My soul feels empty. It`s been weeks and I still can`t stop crying.

I used to think I was strong, but I am so weak without her. I`m ashamed of myself for being so weak. I landed some incredible job, but I don`t even want to go to it. I just want to hear her voice, and hold her in my arms one more time. I tried talking to other girls but they are all nothing compared to her, I can barely even keep up a conversation with them, and their eyes seem so dull. I found out one of my old grilfriends got married to a guy I hated. Whats the point?

Obviously your not going 2 be into new girls, for crying out loud you just got dumped! Got 2 give it time, be patient. Sounds 2 me like u have your mind made up about life and how its over without this great girl (so great she dumped you with no warning) so you should stop posting, your not taking anyones advice or even saying thanx for their kind words. Move on, it happens, thats life DEAL with it. I think you are writing on here for her attention, but if shes reading this, your pushing her away with your dramatics. Get over it, everyone else does.

Hmmm, that last posting was mean. I do appreciate all the advice everyone has given me, please don`t think I`m not taking all of your advice/suggestions to heart, but sometimes it`s hard to listen.

I`m thinking now that she must have cheated on me. It`s really the only explanation that makes sense, of why she would suddenly push me away like that. I hope she thinks about how much she hurt the person she loved, and for nothing but lust. I hope the guilt burns in her forever.

I`m worth so much more than that. I`m worth so much more than her. Someday I`ll find a woman that knows how to be faithfull, and communicates with me like we always should have (and cares about philosophy like I do). I feel like such a fool for trying so hard to get her back, when I should have known all along that she had been unfaithful. Maybe I just wouldn`t admit it to myself.

Any thoughts?

That`s the spirit Ryan! I am so glad you are coming to your senses about this girl. You are so much BETTER than her. You have heart, and someone out there is just waiting to have you open it up to them. You will find happiness again, trust me.