How Do I Ask Them To Be A Bridesmaid?

No offense, but I got a letter in the mail asking to be a bridesmaid and I was offended. I thought it was tacky. If you can`t even ask people in person, are they really that good of friends to have in your wedding? Maybe you could ask your bridesmaids and then when they say yes, send them something. Maybe others have different opinions, but I thought it was very tacky to get a letter in the mail. Everyone that I have asked seems to think the same. Just to let you know, don`t mean to dump on your idea!!

I think asking them in person and then giving them a cute card to commemorate is great - but I agree - asking by mail only seems so impersonal.

You could attach a photo of the two of you to the front and put in some special "remember whens" and then an "I would be honored to have you continue our life long journey of friendship and stand by my side on my wedding day as a bridesmaid."

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I think it`s a great idea as long as you give them the cards in person - which is what I am doing. This is the wording I have used:
"We have been best friends for nearly 15 years and the time has come for me to marry the man of my dreams. I love you and I will always cherish our friendship. We started out as sweet little girls and we have grown in to lovely young women with diamonds on our hands and love in our hearts. I would love for you to stand beside me and support me during the coming months. Would you do me the great privilege of being my Matron of Honor?"

I`m having trouble wording my other maids` cards though. Any ideas?

Here is a poem I read from the Knot:

Roses are red, violets are blue, will you be my bridesmaid? please say "I do!"

Thought it was cute and simple.

I guess I don`t really agree with the mail being inappropriate . Many people have friends that live out of state, including two of my bridesmaids. I think if your friends know it is from the heart, and you can`t meet in person- who is anyone else to judge? It is your friendship- do it in a way that makes sense in your situation.

I am offended by these comments. I live in Indiana and my three bridesmaids live in Missouri, Arizona and Florida. I made personalized cards for each of them since it is impossible for me to ask them in person because of geography. Instead of simply blurting it out on the phone, I wrote each girl a message telling her how much her friendship meant to me and how much it would mean if she stood beside me on my wedding day. I also wrote a note for them to call me when they received the cards so that I could share in their excitement as they figured out that I was asking them to be my bridesmaids. That way, we were as `in person` as we could get and they also now have a cute little keepsake from when I asked them. There is absolutely nothing tacky about sending a card!

I think sending cute handmade cards is a great idea! I don`t live close to any of my bridesmaids and I am going to do that. They all probably already know they`re going to be bridesmaids, so I think receiving a card asking them to be one and telling them why I am choosing them will make their day.
I can see maybe if your friends are very traditional or something you maybe want to do it a different way, but I don`t have money to throw around and think cards will be great!

Asking someone in person might not be an option. I understand if you live close to the person. However, if you don`t, a card and maybe a phone capable of doing. For example, my sisters live 4 hours away, my best friend now lives over 16 hours away and my fiance`s sister is currently living on the other side of the world.

Just remember that it is an honor in of its self. More importantly, you are being asked to celebrate a marriage between your friend/family member, be happy.

If you have an issue with the way the bride handles any situation. You need to confront her and only her. Unless she gives you permission to post something negative about her online, don`t do it. That wouldn`t be an act of love.