Loosing My Sanity

I have been on "the shot" since August of 2004. I had used it in the past several years ago with no noticable side effects other than loss of my period which at the time I thought was great. Now at 35 years old this this is really taking a tole on my body. I read all of the information that the Dr. Gave including the obscure side effects and decided it was the best choice for me. I have been severely depressed. In this forum where I am unknown I will say that I was even suicidal. I had no reason to live I felt. I also developed phylebitis an inflamation of the veins in your legs that can lead to blood clots and you can DIE. The Dr. Passed by very quickly the possible that the shot could be contributing to this. Also since August I have gained @50lbs. Granted most of that I do feel because I didn`t get out of bed for several months because of depression and severe body pain. I have always had alot of body hair but now I feel like a bear and my skin is very dull and lifeless. Also I have had the vision changes that several others have spoken about. I know that I am 35 and that my body is going through some changes but I just don`t feel that is should be like this, so fast and so severe. I am scheduled for another shot on the 12th of April. And I am not going. I am dreading the effects of what my body is going to go through to get back to normal but it can`t possible be worse than this. My advice to anyone thinking of this birthcontrol is to carefully note where your body is right now, before you start and if you decide to go through it document every small change you experience so that you can evaluate if it is worth it to you. At this point in my life I have decided that a child would certainly be better that death. Best wishes, rexanne