Rehearsal Dinner Question HELP Please
Ok.. Wedding is April 9 - 1 month away!!!!!
My groom and I are paying fore MOSTLY everything on our own. Just a few things here & there that we got help for because our parents insisted on helping!!! Anyway, my fiance & I are very plain & just enjoy having a good time.. Nothing prim & proper & stuffy!!! (no offense to anyone that likes that stuff) We decided that for a rehearsal dinner we would just like to have pizza & such and just hang out at the one center our church has.. It is huge with gym & kitchen (basketball and a few other things) We just want this time to be fun and enjoyable and take our minds off the next day that is going to be hectic & HAVE gooood food the day of the wedding.. We come from families that are both divorced & remarried! So big family - we want to stay as relaxed and easy goin as we can - NO stuffiness :)
Anyway.. We had been planning no rehearsal dinner or no BIG rehearsal dinner for months & his family knew that.. But now His mother in law said that there is no way we are having a rehearsal dinner like that.. That we should go to a restaurant and have a sit down dinner.. I said that isnt what we want - we want it relaxed - she stated that is isnt what we want.. This is our time to honor our friends & attendants not ourselves..
Should we cave??? or do what we believe.. I know our friends don`t mind pizza and such.. I know most prefer the pizza and such..
What do you all think?? please advice welcome :)
Posted by meg; updated 03/10/05
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If you are paying for the rehearsal dinner, then you should very well have what you please to have. It is what you want as it is your day but if the parents are paying then they choose.
Posted by Gina; updated 03/10/05
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First of all, I really don`t understand why only pizza in a church gym is a relaxed dinner. You can have dinner served to you in a casual restaurant and have a relaxed dinner. You`re just not making much sense there.
But, even so, it is your dinner and if you are paying for it then you can do whatever kind of dinner you want.
Posted by Linda; updated 03/10/05
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Well I see it as being more relaxed in a church dining area & gym because we can be spread out and mingle in along everyone! Eating at a restaurant we would be crammed around a table staring at each other! (4) sets of divorced parents in one room.. Not fun in the first place - even though they all can "get along" no point in being stuffed like that!!! My fiance really wanted the gym because he & the guys can shoot some hoops and hang out when they are finished eating.. They are all around the 23yr old range.. So they don`t want to sit around listening to women gossip & sit and talk.. So we feel the church is more relaxing for EVERYONE!!! only 2 people have been upset about it being pizza.. That is his sister whom is in the wedding.. And his step mother! But we are paying for it all. I mean. We are going to do what we want.. I guess my main question was just.. Is it usually dinner in a restaurant for most.. And does it actually "honor" the attendants that way.. Or doesn`t it really matter?
Posted by meg; updated 03/11/05
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Your rehersal sounds relaxing and fun. You are paying for it so go for it. I was in a wedding where the bride and groom just had a B-B-Q dinner at their house. So anything goes anymore.
Posted by Janine; updated 03/14/05
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This is so easy- then go out to a pizza restaurant! Compromise and do something in the middle- or go to a mexican place- its casual and you can all sit down and enjoy. There has to be some sort of middle ground on this!!!
Posted by Jana; updated 03/14/05
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Why do so many live by "rules" when getting married... Who said there needs to be this and need to be that! I am confused on that! but its ok. We have decided to stick with our plan and have it at the church center & just enjoy ourselves.. No matter what anyone says. We are paying for our wedding & everything.. So in the end, it is our decision.. It was his STEP mother that didn`t want us to have the pizza & such! his real mother is all for the pizza and said that no one should change our minds.. Thanks for all the input. It may not fit the guidelines of what everyone thinks is the correct way to have a rehearsal dinner.. But it is what is best for us!
Thanks :)
Posted by meg; updated 03/22/05
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Who cares what other want? If they don`t like it, then they can pay to have it somewhere else. Do they realize how much it would cost to have everyone go to a sit down restaurant? It would be AT LEAST $10 a head, most likely close to $20, that adds up!! 20 people and that`s $400!! My mom did the same thing at my brother`s wedding. They just wanted pizza in the church basement becasue there were so many people attending that it just seemed like a waste to go somewhere and may close to $1000 when it is only the rehearsal dinner. My mom whined (even though she never offered to help pay) and you know what? She didn`t end up coming to the rehearsal dinner. And we did not give a crap because we just did not want to listen to her complain!! Do what you want, it`s your wedding!!!!
Posted by Gina; updated 03/22/05
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I myself do not think it matters who is paying for what. Of course you need to be respectful of everyones opinion (and they ALL have them), but the one thing that everyone seems to forget about is the actual meaning of the day! You`re getting married because you love eachother and you have chosen to spend the rest of your lives together. It`s not about if you wear an expensive dress, have an elaborate reception or whether or not you eat filet mignon in a restaurant or pizza in a gym, it`s about YOU and YOUR HUSBAND to be. If your personalities are that YOU & HE feel it`s appropriate to have pizza in a gym/hall then that`s what YOU should do.
Posted by Laurie; updated 03/23/05
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Hi, we are having the same problem. I have been to many rehearsal dinners where everyone crams into a small restauarant and it`s hard to talk or socialize (except to the people who are sititing around you). So we decided to have a picnic/bon-fire at our house. We still plan to make it nice with lots of decorations and candles. Well my mom was livid- claming that it`s not a "real" rehearsal dinner. I would like to know when people came up with these stupid rules about what is right and what is wrong. I say do what you want! I know that my fiance, myself and our friends will have a lot more fun this way. We just need to stop listening to other people`s opinions and remember that is OUR wedding. Best of luck!
Posted by Jen; updated 03/25/05
