Money Dance

Hell no.

NO!

Oh my God, no.

I don`t think there is anything wrong with a money dance, it shows support for the couple who is just starting out in their life together, its a fun tradittion plain and simple. I am a part time wedding photographer and have shot many upscale weddings, and honestly i can`t remember shooting one wedding where the couple didn`t partake in this tradition.

Ultimatly though, its up to your personal style. Just don`t worry about it being tacky. Its the same as throwing your boquet or feeding each other cake. You just have to ask yourself if it`s really you.

I have heard of this in many cultures but as an American marrying an American, I know that this is not apart of my culture so I am not doing this. I know that people fashion their weddings after some other cultures, I have been to African weddings by many African Americans who have studied the culture but have taken many things out because it was not their culture. If you do it, it should be because it is apart of your history and your culture, not just for extra money. The bride chooses the type of wedding that she has. She doesn`t have to choose one that is so expensive that she has to do this dance just to get extra money.

I agree with Kimi. I have never been to a wedding that they do this at....hence it is not done in our circle of friends or perhaps even our part of the country. If it is indeed part of your culture do it. When brides come on this site and are asking how it is done, or when it is done, this tells me culture no, trying to get money out of your guests yes.

I was just simply asking if any one was doing this...I can remember my cousins like 15 yrs ago doing it and my girlfriend who got married 2 yrs ago BUT today things have changed so much and you do what ever you want, its with any tradition....things come and go

I did not do this at my Wedding, nor have I ever been to a Wedding where this was done.

It all depends on where you are and your friends and family. I am doing it, I have never been to a wedding where it WASN`T done, so I am on the other side of the spectrum here. My guests would think it is abnormal for me not to do it!!!

The problem is that this tradition has gotten way out of hand. It seems that the brides and grooms have taken it upon themselves to actually plan and initiate this activity themselves. That`s where it gets tacky. You don`t plan activities at your reception that involve soliciting money from your guests.

The actual tradition is a nice one. However it is the GUESTS that initiate it. It`s a nice thing for them to do to honor the couple. Asking for it yourselves just ruins it.

See, but it is hard NOT to plan it, when you go to book your reception and they have the bottles of alcohol for this dance on their price list and when they ask if you are doing it so it can be added. But again, like I said it all depends where you are.

Thanks to JEN for bailing me out so many negative comments!!! Jeez..people can be so bitter, when it was such an innocent question!!!! I am from PA and it is done at many weddings and this is not a poor area for all you UPSCALE people WHO never heard of it.......

Actually, this dance is done at many African American weddings down south. They have done this for years. It came into play because of segregation and not being able to purchase gifts at some stores so they decided to do the money dance and pin dollars on the brides down for her to dance with them. It was a way of giving them their start (if my memory serves me correct). I asked my friend why they did it at their wedding and she said it dated back to slavery times. I am not sure of its history, it is from one co-worker to another. I have seen this done at her wedding and we were blessed enough to be invited to her home town in Alabama so it was great to see other traditions. It is a way to have a chance to dance with the bride and the groom because there is barely a chance to spend time with them. It was initiated by her brother first after she danced with her father and her husband. Her brother paid her $5 to have a chance to dance with her (not long, maybe half way through the song). It was really fun and exciting to see. So many things that are done in weddings are picked up from other traditions and cultures. Jumping the broom, wishing wells, Unity candles (it actually started out with Jewish cultures). Throwing the bouquet is from France, throwing rice is Irish, giving each other rings is from Rome and wearing it on the left hand on the ring finger is from another culture, wearing a veil is something that was started in Great Britain by a princess who did not want her husband to see her until they were ready to kiss and some say that it was to fool evil spirits but many say that is why you have 7 bridesmaids so that the evil spirits are fooled. The three tiered cake is believed to have been inspired by the spire of Saint Bride`s Church in London, England. Wearing a garter (especially a blue one) dated back to the noble order of knighthood in Europe. The ring bearer is actually from the English page boy. Getting married in June dated back to the Romans who did so because it was the month to take the annual bath. Wearing white is also something that started with Queen Victoria, not an American tradition. The grooms cake is also something that originated in the south. All of these things are in etiquette books so nothing done at weddings is of any one culture. We have borrowed from many cultures to create a wedding.

I think it`s very tacky. Guests are already giving a gift...why are they giving you more money? Just enjoy the evening with your new spouse and savor the memory. Don`t do the money dance.

Unity candles didn`t come from Jewish culture and they`re not used in Jewish weddings.

And wearing a veil was not started in Great Britian by some princess. Read the Bible and you`ll see the wedding of Jacob and Leah (who was wearing the veil to disguise herself as Rachel). The veiling of the bride is a Jewish tradition.

Sorry Linda Eastern European Slavic, I was typing so fast to give the answer to the poster as to why some people/cultures do these things and so that everyone knows that a traditional "American" wedding is actually compiled of so many other traditions.

Actually, back in the bible they ALL covered up in that part of the country but wearing a wedding veil is a tradition that started in Great Britain where all brides started wearing them as apart of the wedding dress as it states and even if it is mentioned in the Bible by the on person doing it just to hide, it does`t say that is where that started the tradition (meaning that more people liked the look and wanted to do it), and either way that is basically over in a totally different country so it is still not an American tradition. I understand where you got this information from Helen because I read it in my etiquette book. Linda, is known for being a bitter old tacky monster! She and a handfuld of others look to tear people down and make everyone feel that her answers are gold when they are just as tarnished as her reputation! Congruatulations to all the brides on the board and just remember, it is YOUR wedding, not your guests, not your family. Do it YOUR way, just as many others are going to do their wedding their way!

I have seen unity candles at a few Jewish weddings. But that is not the issue, the money dance isn`t about tacky, it is about making your guests feel like they are guests. When you invite guests to stay at your home, do you leave a receipt on the night stand? I know that some contries and cultures do this and I lived in PA for a long time and have been to many weddings of all nationalities and races and still have not seen that done. Being African American and from the south (yes, I was born and raised in Marietta, Georgia), I did not see this money dance. I didn`t even know what it was until I saw the movie Soul Food and wondered why people were doing it and my mother couldnt` tell me why. My only misunderstanding here is that you asked if people were doing this at their weddings and you received answers. If you didn`t want to know, why did you ask? If you had you mind already made up to do this, then you didn`t need to get so upset when you asked for opinions. People only told you why they were not doing it and I am only answering because being born and raised in the south and living in Swarthmore PA (middle/upper class neighborhood), I have not seen this. I have not had anyone in my whole family do this nor friends, co-workers and we are from the south. Linda gave her answer, Helen gave her answer, Kimi gave a great answer as well did many others and you found the one person who you felt had the answer that you wanted to hear and attacked everyone else who only answered your question. So now that we see the answer that you were looking for, I sure hope that you have a wonderful wedding and a happy future. God Bless You.

Actually, veiling the bride is NOT a jewish tradition, it DID start in Great Britain and the princess who wore a veil because it was an arranged marriage and she did not want the groom to back out of the wedding and many more people started doing it from that and it became a tradition due to arranged marriages. Yes it is stated in the Bible but it was not a tradition, that was only a one time thing to hide who she really was. That is why Helen stated TRADITION!!! Veils didn`t come into play in the US until Nelly Curtis married George`s Washington`s aid, Major Lawrence Lewis and how this happened was that he saw her standing behind this curtain and told her how beautiful she looked behind it and she decided to veil herself for the ceremony and many more picked up the tradition. As for the Jewish people, they did it in Biblical times because it was a custom for a women to go out with her head covered and even her face, much like how the Muslims wear the garb today. The veil was considered a sign of modesty and some were a state of distinction and luxury. So it was not because of marriage that the Jewish wore veils, they wore them all of the time like a Catholic Nun. That way of covering up is different from the way of the wedding. That tradition is different from wearing a veil to get married, they wore it in the presence of men, the wedding tradition is to make a bride modest...

Actually it is the guest who start this, not the Bride & Groom. In many land it would be rude not accept. I looked this up and it started in scandinavian countrys, the money was for the Honeymoon. Try going to a Wedding in Hawaii and not seeing it would be abnormal, but people in Hawaii are very generous and it is a privilege to be invited.