IN LAWS

Your inlaws can not tell you what to do. They already got married before now it is your choice on how you want your wedding to be and the location. Don`t let them screw it up. You don`t need to please them. Make it YOUR dream wedding not your inlaws. I`m a wedding decorator and a supplier. I`m located in the toronto area if you need help with your wedding i can help. E-mail me at solosweddingplace@hotmail.com.

Traditionally, weddings are held in the bride`s town, but maybe you could compromise and look for something in between. The thing about in-laws is that you are stuck with them for life, so you don`t necessarily want to take the stance that it`s your wedding and you`re going to do whatever you want. You certainly should make the wedding something you want and enjoy, but compromising or atleast taking some input will have rewards that last forever. My thought is that you should have an open ear and listen to their ideas, then you should talk to your fiance about what you want and what he wants and if you can work in atleast one of their ideas into what you and your fiance want then everyone should be happy. For your particular situation, you might consider having your small destination wedding with just close family and then when you get back have a big bash of a reception to satisfy the in-laws. I would really try to atleast let them know that you are listening and that you do care about their ideas, but that ultimately you have to go with what suits you and your fiance best. This may sound like giving in to something unreasonable, but really these are people you will be around the rest of your life and building a good relationship with them really is important. Hopefully they`ll meet you in the middle. Best of luck!

Hi Julia!

I guess my first question is: Are they helping pay for the wedding or are you and "hubby" doing it all yourselves? If they`re helping you pay than they "should" be paying as much as "their" guests will eat.

#2. Did you have a limit in mind? Get "hubby" to tell them that they have to cut back as you`re only inviting so many people.

They`ll probably be offended and let them. I was nicely reminded by everyone that this is MY wedding, I`m paying for it all, if you can`t afford (or don`t want to afford) that many of their guests you don`t have to.
There`ll always be someone who won`t like something about the wedding, no matter how beautiful and perfect you try to make it for everyone. Someone out there won`t like the food, the table clothes or the center pieces. Do what YOU want to do. When all is said and done, yes you`ll have to live with them the rest of your lives but you won`t have to LIVE WITH them.

If "hubby" feels the same way you do then just ask him to tell his parents that this is the number of people they`re allowed to invite. I don`t think there`s anything wrong with telling them this.