Maid Of Honor Doesn`t Want To Attend My Showe

She should be at them as she has a very important role; however, what I noticed was that the bridesmaid were not throwing you a shower. My past experience is that the parents do not throw the shower(s) but bridesmaid and friends. Are your BM involved at all? Maybe she feels bad about that.

I think that she should make both showers. Be upset, but don`t call it the "end of the world". If she doesn`t participate fine. However, it would be nice because she should take the opportunity to meet both side of the families.

As for her throwing you the party, its not always the case. My mom will do my shower and my matron of honor will do my bachlorette party.

Good luck

From a former MOH --my friend at the time she had 5 showers, I thought that was a bit to much, but I attended all of them, to be honest, I wish I didn`t, I felt pressured, I felt I had to buy a gift all the time, (because you really can`t show up empty handed) and because I was the MOH I also felt that my gifts had to be better than most.. Unless you have been a MOH yourself you have no idea what goes thru our minds when things like this comes up, because the bride doesn`t understand that this is really "HER" day and not ours, now that I`m the bride, I`m making sure my fellow bridesmaid do not experience the same things, besides who knows maybe she does have something important to do that day because we really haven`t heard her side of the story.. Also.. If you were not o.k. With it, I don`t know why you lied to her and told her you understood when it seems clearly you are not o.k. With it.. Just go on.. I don`t want to sound mean but this is really your day and nobody elses so don`t get all upset because people are not as excited as you are..

Unfortunately I can see where the MOH is coming from. Look at the expense that those involved with the wedding have to incur. Shower gifts, dresses, shoes, make up, hair done the day of the wedding, wedding gift. Its alot of money. Having been in all situations, bride, MOH and bridesmaid, beside the expense she may feel left out, or may already have been planning a shower for you (as customary for the MOH to do) and feels slighted.
I would say don`t worry about it, however; the bride worries about everything and everyone.

One thing brides aren`t conscious of is the expense their bridal party does incur for participating and being part of the Bride and Groom`s special day.

You`re right to be upset, but you have to grin and bear it. All wedding ettiquette books say that one of the primary responsibilities of the MOH is to throw a shower, so she should have held one for you. She should also plan the bachelorette party, hopefully with help from the BMs. I had 3 showers; my MOH threw one, but she didn`t come to the others, and it kinda bugged me. If she`s concerned about the expense of multiple gifts, tell her to just bring something small to each one--a box of your favorite tea, bubble bath, whatever. She doesn`t have to spend a lot on shower gifts.

Well to all the brides who are disappointed in your MOH it appears to me that you are not doing your job. You should make you MOH feeled very comfortable and welcomed at the other showers and not obligated to buy another gift as their presence there is enough. I know my MOH will be at my showers as I have told her that I would like her to be there and she was not to bring a gift as I just want her there to meet everyone because she has such an important role in the wedding and she is so special to me. In every book I have ever read it says that the MOH is to attend all showers but not obligated to bring a gift.

MOH`s & Bridesmaid`s should attend all pre-wedding parties. They are not expected to bring a gift to every party -- only one gift for everything including showers & wedding!

It`s all about support and being there for your friends. 2 showers is really not much at all. If she didn`t want to be there for her friend as a MOH... Maybe she should not have taken on such an important roll.

If her not wanting to attend is about the gift -- let her know that you don`t want her there to receive as many gifts as possible. You want her there as your MOH to enjoy the experience and make great memories both of you will never forget.

Hang in there :o) With or without her... Don`t let it ruin your special time -- consider it her loss.

TRY NOT TO CONFUSE THE CELEBRATION OF YOUR MARRIAGE WITH ALL THE EVENTS SURROUNDING IT. IN THE REALM OF IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE THE BRIDAL SHOWER(S) IS PRETTY UNIMPORTANT. IT IS IMPORTANT TO KEEP PERSPECTIVE NOW AND LEARN NOT TO SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF. MARRIAGE IS A VERY BIG STEP AND THE MOST IMPORTANT PART IS NOT THE CEREMONY OR EVENTS SURROUNDING IT, BUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND. ENJOY THE SHOWERS, AS THEY ARE....YOU WILL FIND LIFE HAS MORE "CRISIES" THAN WHO WAS AT YOUR SHOWER. I HAVE BEEN MARRIED TWICE, THE FIRST TIME FOR 13 YEARS AND SECOND FOR 29. I CAN ONLY REMEMBER ONE OF MY SHOWERS (AND I KNOW THERE WERE MORE) BUT IT WAS SPECIAL BECAUSE MY 7 DANCE PUPILS PLANNED IT ALL THEMSELVES AND ONLY INVITED THEMSELVES.

To all of the self absorbed brides out there: GET A CLUE. Although it may not seem the case, the entire world isn`t going to revolve around you for an entire year!!!! Just because you have asked someone to spend a million dollars to be part of YOUR wedding, do not expect your maid of honor to put her life on hold! The amount gifts/money people expect now when they are getting married is out of hand.

My word...sounds as though there`s some bitterness out there. I didn`t hear anyone suggesting that the `world is revolving` around anybody.

Personally, I think that by agreeing to stand with you on this very important day, your MOH is agreeing to be a part of the whole shebang. If you`re having a shower a week, maybe that would be a bit much. But this is not 12 parties to attend, this is TWO. What is the big deal? How is this over the top? She doesn`t know anyone at the other one...is she afraid of strangers or something?

I would be very hurt if my MOH chose not to attend the shower. If she wasn`t into doing these sorts of things, she shouldn`t have agreed to stand for her friend at her wedding.

WOW...........I thought this was a Wedding message boards for brides not bride haters. It sounds like no more MOH`s 4 me is a bit bitter and possibly a bit jealous of brides. Maybe you havent been a bride yourself. It has nothing to do with the world revolving around you, its about wanting to SPEND your treasured memories with people you love. I chose my MOH`s because they are close and very dear to me and all I want is for them to feel as happy for me as I am. I know my MOH`s would never have this "HATER" imagine towards me and for that I am grateful.
Basically, If your MOH is a TRUE and dear friend you will not have ANY problems with her and when her time comes to get married youll be there to repay her for everything she had done for your BIG DAY.