Who Picks The Rehearsal Dinner

The groom`s family traditionally gives the rehearsal dinner, so they get to decide where it will be held. I think considerate inlaws do consult with the bride and her family. I wouldn`t force the issue, this is the type of thing that causes bad feelings in a family.....bad feelings that will persist long after everyone has forgotten about the rehearsal dinner. Tuxedos are a touchy area for us too. I`m planning a small, but, very elegant wedding and I have asked family on both sides to wear formal attire...even those who aren`t in the wedding. My fiance`s two older brothers are refusing. It`s not about money, it`s just a control thing with them. I accept that I can`t win, so if they show up in suits that I don`t like, I will limit the number of album pictures they are in......and with everyone else in black tie, they will be the ones who look out of place.