Is This New?!?!?

Mei Ling,
Not every wedding in America is done the same way. A lot of people are getting away from the "traditional" wedding and applying their own ideas in the decorations and style. Some of the objects such as wishing wells and money trees are use because maybe it is a second marriage for the bride or groom and they don`t need gifts for their home. Some couples choose to live together before the wedding and therefore they don`t need typical house gifts like dishes and towels, rather they prefer to receive money. These objects (wishing wells, etc...) are used to let your guest know what type of gifts that you need. It is not rude in the American culture to receive gifts, it is the way that the guests celebrate with you and they are happy to help you and your new husband get established. Having guests pay for their own drinks is also okay. Some people don`t have enough money to have an open bar, therefore they give the guests the option of drinking but they must pay for it themselves. I have never heard of anyone making their guests pay for their own food! That is a weird for me too.
Don`t be discouraged by all of our traditions because a lot of what you read about is a personal idea that someone has. I encourage you to look into our wedding traditions and not totally delete them from your wedding. I will be marrying a Brazilian and we will mix our cultures! We will also do things a little differently in order to have a cultured wedding. We will take the things that we like from both of cultural traditions and create our own wedding. Please don`t be discouraged. America is a place where you almost everything goes! If you read something that sounds really weird, it probably sounds a little wierd to some Americans too! Good luck with your wedding plans and God Bless you!

Hey,
I just wanted to let you know that all of those things are not typical american wedding things. Our society is ever-changing and some people are deciding to do things however they want without regard to ettiquette. It is never okay to say anything with regards to gifts on an invitation, anyone who does so is pretty tacky and most people are insulted when they come across invites that have that on it. Some people are already established and don`t need traditional gifts, they might have their families spread the word to guests that no gift or cash would be more helpful than stuff for the house. More and more people are opting to simply give cash as a gift and so they just bring a card with the money inside, this is where all of the wishing wells and baskets come into play, generally they are just a place for people to put the cards that they bring and are usually placed on the gift table. I`m just going to have a basket on my gift table for people to put cards in if they bring them, some people make fancy boxes shaped like cakes or use bird cages or wishing wells for this purpose. As far as making people pay for their meal at the wedding, that is definitely a no-no. I have heard of people having cash bars or sometimes partial cash bars. This can be for many reasons. To keep drinking to a minimum, or if the bride and groom don`t drink and want to make it available, or if they can`t afford a bar but want to make it available to those who want it. The idea of a cash bar is heavily debated. In general though American weddings are based on the principles of celebrating the couple and their union and taking care of the guests, making sure they have a good time. There are a lot of traditions that you may enjoy such as the big wedding cake, the flower toss, first dance, etc. Just talk to people you know, maybe go to the library and get some wedding books and see what is more typical of american weddings and choose whatever traditions you want to incorporate. There are many books out there on planning a multi-cultural wedding and how to blend different traditions, so definitely take a look. Hope this helps. Just so you know, not all american brides are greedy or want the rest of their world or their guests to pay for their wedding, unfortunately there are always going to be people out there who feel entitled and want everyone else to take care of them. Best of luck on your wedding!