Money Gifts

Ah yes...what you received was an invitation to a tacky wedding. The bride and groom are forgetting that you are a GUEST and that a wedding invitation should never - ever- ever - ever mention anything about gifts or money. These people are apparently quite presumptous that not only do they think they can request a gift, but a specific one.

Obviously it is not acceptable to request gifts or money of any sort in an invitation. There will be people who come on after me and say "oh no, it`s fine to ask for cash as long as it`s done nicely." Well, news flash for those people "THERE IS NO NICE WAY TO REQUEST GIFTS OR MONEY BECAUSE THE ACT ITSELF IS RUDE AND PRESUMPTOUS."

I see this situation as a catch 22. It`s not at all "tacky" as the other girl said to ask for gifts, she just doesn`t want to spend any more than 5 bucks. But I will agree about the money to a degree. If it`s a couple I`m close with and it`s a "it`s about time" wedding and they deserve a big wedding but can`t afford one I will give the money b/c it`s something they need. Wants never have value, but needs will be greatly appreicated, so I guess it`s really your call. There`s no certain amount needed to give. Whatever amount you were going to spend on a gift, just keep the money and put it in the wishing well, simple as that!

A wishing well is a decorated card box holder where people who bring a card puts the card in the wishing well. Ai have seen them and they are beautiful but I say that to this degree. My sister had one at her wedding but did not include a poem or anything else stating to give her money. She had the wishing well there because she didn`t carry around the bridal bag that most brides carry their money in. She had an extra attendant there to watch over the money so she didn`t have to worry about that. I do think that no matter the situation, no one should stated what a guest should give them. As a guest they really do not have to buy anything at all. People do it because they want the bride and groom to have things for their house and to show them that they love them and are thinking of them. If the people know the bride and groom well, then they know that they have everything that they need. They will know to give them money. Use word of mouth or just don`t register. Many people will ask where they are registered and the mother or maid /matron of honor will let them know. No one has to hold the hand of anyone any more. Besides, if a person wants to buy you something no matter if you have something in your house, they are doing it because they really wanted them to have that item. Etiquette and manners state not to ask for gifts, we teach it to our children and we teach them to be appreciative of whatever they receive as it is the thought that counts. Why not for a wedding. If it is an "about time" wedding, then people will know to give them money or they will ask or they will want the bride and groom to have something that really is something special to their heart that they want to share with the couple. Just be happy to have your guests at the happiest day of your life.

It`s fine to "put the word out" that cash gifts are appreciated--or simply don`t post a registry--but it is not considered polite to mention gifts in ANY FORM on the invitation. Invitations automatically carry the expectation of a gift unless the person is only an acquaintence, but they should never mention the gift.

That`s what Emily Post says, anyway.

I doubt it`s meant to be rude....but yes, it does violate the "rules."

Am getting married in November and my wedding is very traditional. At the wedding reception the bride and groom walk to each table to greet the guests. At this time the guest hands the couple evelopes with money in it. In exchange the couple hands each guest a gift. This my tradition and I will include in my wedding invitation that in lieu of gifts we suggest a gift in form of monentary donation.

In my case I think it is not rude to request for money because it`s part of the tradition and it`s the best way to inform guests that are not familar to the customs.

In general people usually have what they need so providing money as a gift is a great idea. If the guest feels offended then they should not go to the wedding...as a bride to be it`s better off that those not attend the wedding if the guest can`t understand the request or thinks negative of the couple. When I attend weddings I alway give money as a gift because most people do not need the toaster that you want to get them. I`m for helping the couple, I don`t think any couple will think if the guest is rude if they bring money as gifts, I know they would appreciate it more that the gifts.