Parents Help Pay For Wedding

Okay Tara
Even if someone else brings up church don`t respond, your response can sometimes sound even worse than their original one.
How many guests are you having?
10000 should more than pay for at least 100 people to eat and dance at a wedding as long as it isn`t at the most expensive place in town. (which I have looked into and doesn`t mean that it is the best place) and do you really know all of these family members? if you don`t know all of them that well then take them off the guest list. (I did and it made the wedding much more affordable on much less) and why do you want someone there that hasn`t talked to you in more than 3 years. By the way I am renting a ship that fits 75 people and including DJ, a great meal (not buffett style) and 4 hours of sailing for just under 5000 canadian!! If 10,000 isn`t enough check other venues,
And about your brother it sucks, but if you are a mature person forget about them invite them and have fun without worrying about them. It sounds like the more you worry about them not paying the less fun your going to have

It seems to me that you don`t really care for your mother and all you want from her is money. Granted, parents aren`t supposed to play favorites but you make yourself sound very immature when you say "but my brother got it." You refer to your mother as "evil" yet you want her to jump at your requests for money? If she kicked you out of the house at 22 you should be a little more adult than that. I am 22 and am paying for my own wedding. My parents offered to help with my wedding but they don`t have a lot of money so my mother bought my dress and I am paying for the rest myself. I would LOVE to get 10 grand handed to me as you did, but I didn`t. You should be grateful for what you got and not complain that you need more. There are others out there that can`t even afford a 10,000 wedding. If you hate your mother so much, don`t invite her and let that be the end of it. Your wedding is about celebrating your love for each other, not about spending money that isn`t yours.

Whoa! You sure are very selfish and immature. What your mother gave to your brother is one thing, you are having a larger wedding and if she states that she has no money, then take what she gives to you. This is your wedding, you pay for it. Firstly as a mother, don`t EVER refer to your mother as a b!tch. You don`t know and won`t know how hard it is to raise a GIRL until you have one. Believe me dear, they are much harder to raise than a boy. I pray that this never comes back to haunt you in the form of twin girls. You dare to call your mother a b!tch and yet she is still paying for the deposit for your gown and giving you $10,000 you have lost what is left of your mind. Secondly, what your mother buys for her household is her business. She can have 12 Hummers on the front lawn to drive once a month and it is still her business, she worked for that money and she has a right to spend it as she wishes. Her job ended with you when you turned 18 if you chose not to attend college and even at that, she still doesn`t have to do anything for you when you become an adult. She didn`t put you out when you were 16, she made sure that you were an adult (even if only by age) before she put you out. Lastly, get yourself together and get over to your mother`s house an beg for her forgiveness! Surely you wouldn`t want your fiance to see what type of woman he is truly getting married to because if you are a spoiled pain in the a$$ brat now, you will be that in marriage and worse, you will turn into a nag and he will hurt your feelings later. GROW UP!!! You dare to get on this board and call your mother anything other than Mom and you have bought yourself a large fight from me. I cannot believe the selfishness you are showing here and the rudeness. While you are getting married in that Church, you need to fall to your knees and beg the Lord for forgiveness for the things that you said about your mother and for treating her the way that you did/do. Good Luck to your future husband!

Having read your message, you have stated here HIS mother is giving you $10,000 (not your mother whom you did not call a b****). You are asking your parents to help you to pay for your wedding as they did for your brother. Never compare yourself with your brother. Sit down and talk to your parents, you are angry now but you have to get over this. Now from what I can understand about some Italian families, the parents take care of the son because they feel that it is a woman`s place to do so. I have spoke to a friend at work who is 29 and still living at home because his mother feels that until he is married she has to take care of him. But I know that his mother still did right by the daughter for her wedding (even though she got married first because he is still not married). I think you used this board to vent and that is fine. However, it is time for you to stop being angry with your mother because it isn`t going to help and it is hurting you from what I read here. I understand your anger as you only feel that since his parents are paying $10,000 you would like for your parents to show their happiness for you by paying that or close to it. I understand but if your mother says that she doesn`t have the money take what she can give to you and try not to think about the hurt. (I know, easier said than done) but it is only added stress and frustration. Good luck and God Bless.

I am the grooms mother. I would like to know who should pay for the wedding. The brides father only wants to pay for the number of peope he invited whic amounts to 1500 and wanta us the grooms parents to pay for our people which amounts to 7000. I don`t think this is fair.

I think you all make good points. I do have one thing that bothers me. I know that it is not the parents duty to pay for their daughters wedding, however, the part that bothers me is if they have the money and choose to spend it on themselves. True, they have every right, but to me personally, as a hopeful future father, if I had the money, which I`ll start saving for soon, I would rather spend it on one of the greatest days of my daughters life then on a boat, or a new driveway, or a new deck. When I`m 75 years old and looking back on my life, I can say, "wow, i wasted money on the car, that was dumb. I wasted money on that autographed jersey, that was dumb. But every time I watch the video of my daughters wedding I cry, that was the best money I spent." And that is what makes it tough for me to understand not `wanting` to pay. I wish everyone luck with there situations, in the end...Life goes on.