Children??

I was told it was "bad form" to put it on the invitations, etc. We did it by word of mouth - mostly by our mothers.

We did have to have some one-to-one discussions with a few guests letting them know that our wedding & reception was child-free. We phrased it as "our decission/ our choice for our special day".

Most were ok with it, but a few chose not to attend because of our stance. So be it!! It`s your special day - have it the way you want!!!

Simply do not stated "& family" Write the invitation out to whom it goes to "Mr. & Mrs." We received a few invitations that had added numbers on it and we called back to those folk to let them know that the invitation was extended to them and would have to decline the added person. They will either understand or not. You can`t please the masses, you are only out to please yourselves.

The best way to word it is "Adult Reception". You could also provide childcare so that guests who have little ones can still attend. Hope that helps!

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Esmeralda, I`m not meaning to be harsh, but I think you`ve missed the point. If the bride doesn`t want children at her wedding, then that`s what she should have. It`s HER day, not a "go ahead and bring your kids even though we don`t want them there" day.

Your suggestions of giving the kids something to do is a nice idea, but if the couple wants a child free wedding, they should do so and not worry about who`s going to have their feelings hurt. Guests should be adult enough to understand that.

If the guests truly want to support the new couple, they can put aside their selfish assumptions/demands and leave the kids a home!

Yes, and the other perspectives were posted as well - calling it an Adult Reception, etc. Lots of brides I work with "decide" to not have children at their wedding until I tell them they could provide childrens entertainment instead and not worry about potential hurt feelings. Sometimes in suggesting that I can literally see a burden lifted off their shoulders. I can attest, most brides do not consider hiring a clown, etc. Its very very possible this bride had`nt considered that option. And, even if she did and decided against it ...lots of brides read the posts here but dont post their own questions. So, maybe another bride will benefit from the suggestion.

Agreed. If they choose to accomodate thier guests` children, so be it. They just shouldn`t feel obligated to do so....

You can say it, but you are going to hurt and/or anger people. There`s just no way of getting around that. People you are close to (siblings, best friends etc.) won`t understand excluding their kids from your wedding.....even if they did that for their weddings!

Like I said before, people need to be adult about this kind of situation. (And yes, less and less people seem unable to act like adults these days!)

But don`t forget to look at it from the other side too. What about the bridal couple? If they don`t want kids there and guests who just assume their kids are invited & bring them put the couple in an awkward position.

And - especially, if the guests had a child free wedding themselves - they should be the FIRST to understand about some other copuple`s whish to have a child-free wedding day.

I am "hoping" to have a child free wedding. I don`t care about proper I have "Adult Reception" on the invitation. And proper or not I wanted to make sure everyone got the message. I`m also only addressing the invite to Mr. & Mrs. I`m also doing word of mouth. I understand some people may be offended and not come but that is OK with me. I would rather not have the parents then have the parents and the children. And don`t worry I`ll call people if their RSVP reflects their children.

Everyone has a different vision of their wedding & reception, but I also think everyone should respect those visions.

Since you are paying for this wedding and no matter if they are children or adult the meal cost the same for a child who may not even eat the meal, you should simply state it all aresa, on the invitation (adult reception) on the envelope (Mr. & Mrs). If you feel that people will invite their children any way, (my friend did this and it worked) she filled out the number of guests on the reply card "2 attending or 0 not attending" I am not one who is big on having children at weddings. My cousin had children at her wedding and reception and there was running around, knocking things over, crying in the video and it is natural for these things to happen when you have children. You always have that one person who doesn`t have full control of their children and don`t make them sit still. You can only entertain children for so long and why should a bride pay extra for entertainment for children when the parents should be responsible to entertain their own children. If you don`t want them at YOUR wedding, then state that so the guests understand.

THANK YOU PAULA,
I`m so glad to hear someone else get it.

I`m right there with you two. We did word of mouth & was very specific on the RSVP cards, also addressing them to "Mr. & Mrs." Not one kid showed up! It was absolutely gloriuos not to have screaming, wild little terrors running around our reception!

We had a few people not show and that was fine with us. On the other hand, we had a few people that were very happy to have an opportunity to go somewhere *without* their kids. We were amused to see that response. :)

Wow... I am just sitting here shaking my head at most of these responses.
Esmeralda and Sarah... I like your ideas.

My cousin had her wedding, put adult reception and even marked the envelopes Mr & Mrs. Someone still brought their baby and was politely turned away at the door. The wedding was very late in the evening the reception started at 8PM to 12AM so why would anyone bring a baby? When asked I responded to many people who asked about bringing a little cousin that she adored or adored her and I simply stated to them, the only babies allowed at this wedding are the ones inside a uterus. I figured that was a plain and to the point that I could get and still a friend brought the baby to the wedding because "but this is her god-child" OH WELL! When we say Adult reception we mean just that. Shake your head all that you want but i the reality of it all, no one loves your children like you do and no one should have to deal with your children but you unless they WANT to. When a bride states that she doesn`t want children at the wedding, she has that right.

To sum it up, I guess there`s no easy way of saying it. Yanis, I think it was rude of that person to turn up with a baby even after having been told. I would be a bit upset if that had happened to me. But some people just dont get it eh? Well, it your wedding and you`ve every right to make it adult only. "Adult Only Wedding and Reception Please" plus word of mouth should hopefully (fingers crossed!) do the trick!

I put Adult Reception on my invitations and the truth of the matter is, there exists people who are very selfish, doing what THEY want rather than respecting the wishes of the couple. I had to tell my sister`s cousin-in-law, when she asked if she could bring her 8 year old daughter, that I did state it was an Adult only reception. She was very offended. I asked her if she could allow her some time with the Dad or Grandfather that night? I asked her to please try. She never called me back. I`m not going to worry. I figure the people who love you, also respect you so C`est La Vie. I`m not going to be "hurt".

I was put in to a position of making an exception and felt a little forced. The flower girl and ring bearer have a brother who is a little older, and the parents included him in the response. I was ticked and was going to call, but it seems awful to exclude the kid when their entire family will be there. The entire family, grandmother, Aunts and Uncles would be there. So I never said anything.

I think it`s such a terrible thing that response cards are not mailed out in time OR AT ALL.

Here`s another thing....I invited a couple AND THEY INVITED THEIR MOTHER to my wedding. How`s that one!!!

I have another friend who I sent an invitation to herself AND GUEST. She invited one extra guest too! She does not have any money, so why would she do such a thing!

I also have nieces who I sent invites to only them and they invited their boyfriends. They live alone and are in their twenties, have little money at all, so I don`t expect much of anything from them (and that`s fine with me because they are my family) but when you know you`re not going to cover your plate WHY would you invite a guest?????

I am one frustrated Bride.

If you exclude children from your wedding, feelings will be hurt. My child and baby are being excluded from a very close friends out-of-state wedding. This will probably end up excluding me and my husband as well. I had lots of kids at my wedding and they all contributed to the joy of the day.

Well, Kristin. I am having an adult only wedding. My sister has a baby she is very proud of, and when I told her it is an adult only wedding and reception, she was very understanding. She will still go to my wedding, but her husband might stay at home if they cannot find someone. No feelings hurt, she just understands that it is hard enough to manage without kids running around and screaming.

Had there been no solution for her, I would probably have tried to accomodate my nephew and hire a babysitter for the wedding day. But if you are not an immediate family of the bride, it is not fair to expect the bride to think of your kids. Everybody is different, and she pays for the wedding, the insurance, and God knows what. Fine, initial reaction might be to feel hurt, but you should grow out of it.

How can i state in the invitation for a wedding shower that children are not welcomed? i need to use a lot of tack as many invitees will be hurt. I am just tired of chasing the kids around while the parents have a good time. Sv

Good Luck. It is your day and I hope everyone respects that. We had requested a Child-Free Reception that most people respected. A couple people that didnt pay attention to how the envelopes were addressed did bring their babies. (Im not sure why people dont pay more attention but it wasnt out of disrespect) The only thing that offended me was a family member that was told specifically that it was Child-Free brought both of her children out of spite. This was the second family wedding that she had done this and the first she was the Maid of Honor and ended up being totally distracted by her children and the poor bride suffered because of it. My point, some people will not respect your wishes, for some reason, they think YOUR wedding is about THEM! Very selfish people if you ask me. My best advise is to do the best you can, spread the word but no matter what happens on that day, if people bring their children, even out of spite, you have the best time of your life!