Etiquette
My niece is having a Sweet 16 (I know that this isn`t a wedding, I didn`t want to put this on the Quinceanera board because children cannot answer this question!) she is a Girl Scout. She wanted to incorporate her Gold Award (highest honor for a Girl Scout) with her Sweet 16. She asked her mother to put an insert in with the ticket to state this:
Girl Scout Gold Award 2005/6 (her party is in late August). For my Gold Award, I will be helping the Salvation Army collect Toys for Tots. I am not asking for a gift for myself, I am asking you to bring a toy for a needy child this Christmas season. I figured that this is like putting in your register in with the invitation. At a Sweet 16, people do not register for gifts nor do family ask what a child wants, they just get gifts. Is this something that should be done? Her mother is at her wits end looking for the etiquette on this but doesn`t want her daughter to not have her wish. Now before you answer, do not be so harsh as to hurt a 15 year olds feelings as she will be reading the responses. I told her that I wanted to post it here to see what people thought of this before we do this. We do not want to hurt anyone`s feelings. Please let us know. Thanks.
Posted by Francine; updated 01/04/05
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I don`t know the etiquette on this. However, if I received an invite of this nature I would be so proud of my niece or whoever. I think it is great that a 15 is thinking of accomplishing a goal and helping others even at the risk of not receiving a birthday present. Looking back when I was 16 I don`t think I would have risked giving up a gift to help other people like that. I would have thought of getting things for toys 4 tots another way. Cudos to her.
So back to the question. I don`t see a problem with it. Personally if I was invited I would probably buy something for toys 4 tots then also get the girl something.
Since she is requesting something for someone else in need and nothing for herself. I think it would be okay. Its not as if she is asking for money to get the windows tinted in her new car or get wheels.
Posted by helping; updated 01/04/05
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I think that is wonderful! I don`t think that etiquette matters here since she is not telling people what she wants for herself, she is only telling them that she wants to do this as apart of her Gold Award and that the gifts are for someone else. That is really wonderful!!! I too would be proud, you hear so many teenagers asking for gifts for themselves and what they want, need but she is one of a kind. Hope she has a wonderful birthday!
Posted by Jeanette; updated 01/05/05
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Ummm,
Well nowadays, things are changing and I guess it might be acceptable to do the toys for tots thing, especially as she does not ask for anything for herself. Worded like that, it seems ok, and I think if I received an invite like that, I would buy the kiddie present, attend her party and not take any offence.
PS: Its nice that she is thinking of others though, makes a change from a lot of people in this world!
Posted by Mrs Bride; updated 01/11/05
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Sounds like a wonderful idea to me. I`m originally from Long Island where most sweet 16`s are like weddings these days. I`d be delighted to receive such an invitation.
Posted by Kate; updated 01/11/05
