Monetary Gifts

Word of mouth is best for this. I have told my parents, my fiancee`s parents and my close friends and family that we would prefer money, but any gift would be nice. Just explain what you included on your question. Your daughter is moving after the wedding and monetary gifts would benefit them best.

Indicate on an insert in the invitations instead of the registery inserts that they have chosen a `Wishing well` as opposed to the traditional wedding gift registries, as they already have an established home or whatever the case is. The `wishing well` will be present at the reception for guest to place congratulatory cards, personal messages, and or financial contributions towards their future together..

I agree that word of mouth is the best way to do this, and every bridal magazine I`ve read states this as well. They also state NEVER to include registry information in a wedding invitation - it is only appropriate for a shower invitation. Good luck!

Like Shannon, I have heard over and over again...NEVER mention registries, money, or gifts of any kind on the wedding invitations. You can put this in with the invitation for the showers only.

I don`t know why you can`t be real about it.I know someone who put "Monetary gifts only please" on their wedding invitations....and they ended up with a down payment for their house.They had a big wedding.People understand the times.What you need is what you need.If people are too snooty to understand that then too bad, but I`m sure they aren`t gonna go against the invitation and give a gift, so go for what you need.That is some hoity toity mess for you Not to be able to say what you want on your invitations.Just be nice about how you word it, but an insert saying it would be cool if you ask me.

I`m sorry, it`s not a matter of being "hoity toity", it`s a matter of good manners. How presumptious to tell your guests what to give you as a wedding gift. Why bother to invite them at all? Just tell them where to send the money.
C

Although I understand where Carol is coming from. I agree that you can be polite about asking for money. What matters the most is the invitee`s perception. I too, have a friend that requested monetary gisft and received back the money that he spent on the wedding. I phrase such as this can be used:

Your presence at our wedding is present enough!
But if we`re honored with a gift from you,
May we respectfully request a gift of money.
Thanks in advance,
Bride and Groom

*cringe*

Wow, that`s really awful. But to each their own.

I wish there were a tactful way to say you need money instead of gifts, as we`re about to buy a house. I know that everyone doesn`t feel this way, but for us anyhow, we feel that such a request is bound to offend someone, and will probably make people think we`re inviting them for the wrong reasons. We`re inviting people to share our day with us because we want their presence on this day; we`re not inviting them just to see how much loot we can get, or to get the down payment for our house.

Taking the chance of offending our guests is something that I`m just not willing to do for money.

Of course this is just my opinion....


K

Kimberly,
I`m with you. I read these posts and just cannot believe them. I say I never thought of myself as an ediquette pro or really cared about it, but the longer I`m on here the more I cannot believe the gall of people. Let me reiterate. It is never acceptable to mention ANY kind of gift in your wedding invitation. For your shower you can insert your registry info. I live in the midwest and am going to tell you, people here will buy off the registry for the shower, and probably 95% of your wedding guests will give cards with money in them. So you end up getting cash without your begging. You are suppose to be inviting people to share your day and happiness not for the LOOT! I have to say I always give money for the wedding gift, but if I ever received an invitation with some tacky poam begging for dough, I`d buy you a blender from Walmart! Please go to some of these wedding sites and enlighten yourselves by clicking on ediquette so you do not embarrass yourself, or your families!

It is never okay to mention anything about gifts in the wedding invitation. The wedding invitation is strictly to announce your wedding and INVITE your guests to share in the day with you. It is not a place to share your gift wishes.

It is certainly proper to tell people what you would like, but there is a catch. You only tell them what you want IF THEY ASK!!!!! Most likely your guests will either ask where you are registered or what you would like. And most likely they will either ask you, or your bridesmaids or your very close family members. So let your wedding party and your parents know where you are registered or that you have a full house and money would help. But don`t ever initiate mention of gifts to your guests verbally or written. And certainly don`t ever mention gifts in the invitation. It`s just completely tactless.

Please, Jenice!!!!! That`s horrible!!!!!!

Are you kidding me???????? A note that tells your guests "only monetary gifts are being accepted" ?????

Grow up! things have changed, nothing is written in stone. There is no right or wrong! We are using "MATRI-MONEY" as the term for anyone asking what the couple would like for a gift. Works for us!!!
Lighten up - all this worry is not good on the nerves

I did not say Monetary gifts are only being accepted. I said that someone put "Monetary gifts only Please"...and to me that is a kind way to ask that that be done PLEASE, for anyone that Wants to give a gift at all, instead of a gift they cannot use. Every single invtitation I have ever seen has registry info in it, no matter what walk of life, so that is just a way to let people know what you want, so they don`t waste their time and money on something you don`t need or want. So whether it`s a registry list or a plea that it be monetary gifts, what is really the difference. ..and not one person felt bad about it at the wedding where they asked for Monetary gifts only please. And would mention that they understand...and many kind comments. Noone was offended.
It is not inviting people solely for loot, it`s just letting them know what you need. That if they happen to get a gift that it be this or that. Noone has to get a gift, it`s just a loving gesture. They attend a beautiful ceremony, get a wonderful dinner and desserts and favors to go home with, so I don`t think most people ever feel slighted, unless they have some of their own issues. There`s always gonna be someone that trips on something.
And now that we had our wedding, everyone said that ours was the most beautiful and loving wedding they have ever been to. It was truly blessed.

Jenice is the one who said to write only monetary gifts will be accepted. Jenice also said to write your bank information so your guests can direct deposit the funds. Mysteriously Jenice`s message has disappeared from this post. Probably good that it was gone because it was dreadful advice.

Q, it`s fine to have a registry or say you`d like money, but as it`s been mentioned many times already it`s only fine to say those things if your guests asks you. You don`t offer your gift list without being asked. You wouldn`t walk up to one of your guests and say "Hello thanks for coming to my wedding, if you haven`t bought the gift yet please I`d like money". It`s the same thing with the invititation - it`s like saying "I invite you to share in my day and please only money gifts" or "We would be honored to have you join us on our special wedding day and here is our registry gift list". I don`t care if you say 20 million people are doing it, it still doesn`t make it right.

Goodness, if you don`t understand this concept by now, then I don`t know that you ever will. Just wait for people to ask what you want or where you are registered.

That`s fine if you feel differently than I do. That`s what makes the world go around. I think difference is what makes us all beautiful. I`m cool with how I see it, and all the people I have ran across are, and like I said, there is always gonna be one person who doesn`t like Something, no matter what you do. It`s good to discuss because it leaves society in dialogue, rather than monologue. How great to be able to let people hear other opinions and decide for themselves. Instead of being stuck to one societal viewpoint.
Peace and blessings.

Yay Q.

Ask for money, don`t ask for money. Ask for gifts, don`t ask for gifts. There are better ways to do all of these things. You can be proper and safe or direct and effective, there`s a benefit to every path. Decide what you want to do and do it. Traditions start with great ideas being reused accross the community.

But this is neither a tradition nor a good idea. It`s just a matter of good manners. Like someone said either you get it or you don`t get it. Ignorance is bliss.

If your guests are polite they will pretend that they are not offended. So you`ll be blissful and they`ll cringe in private.

Maybe you should consider how close you are to your family and friends. More than likely, if you and your fiance are living together, then the majority of your friends and family know that already. Obviously they are going to know that you don`t need a toaster. At the same time, If you are close to the people you are inviting, nothing is going to seem rude. If you just say something like "the couple is not registered and gifts are not necessary, however a best wishes-tree will be available for cards". This way they are not obligated to give you a gift and either way it is appropriate for them to give a card wishing your marriage well. If they want to give you a donation in the card they can and if they don`t it`s okay.

As much as I need and would like cash gifts - I WOULD NEVER think of asking for it. That is simply rude. Every new couple needs money, and most guests know it, but it does not give you the right to ask for it. I guess class is a thing of the past.....

My fiancee and I just recieved an invitation that said they would prefer money over gifts. I forget the exact wording of the invittation, but it is for an evening, formal wedding. I think that this is the tackiest thing I have ever heard of, and makes me not even want to attend the wedding. When I have told my family and friends of this, they can`t believe it either. Bottom line: you don`t tell your guests what to get you, that isn`t why you are having a wedding....or is it???