Siblings And Bridal Party

Personally I belive that each situation is different. Just because someone is family doesn`t give them an open ivite to be part of the wedding. There could be many factors. How close are you to your brothers, how bothered or hurt would they be to not be included. Only you can decide. If you do include them thougth my suggestion would be to find two other women to stand up for you. Let your finance pick his close friends and/or family that he wants and then just add your brothers.

What about using them as ushers? It`s important to me that my brother is up there with me. I guess I agree with the other posting...it depends on your relationship with your brothers. One thing I have learned though is that you can`t please everyone. It`s your day. What do you want?!

I agree with the posting before me. Do what you want! :) But, also remeber that it is your fiance`s day too and the same could be said for him. (He should do what he wants.) There might be some solutions to the dilemma. Like, having your brothers each read a prayer or something like that during the wedding. And, even though it is still a bit of a modern idea, you can have "Men of Honor". A lot more brides are doing it these days because of brothers and close friends who are male. In the end, just make a decision that makes YOU comfortable & happy, and let every one else just deal with it. They`ll get over it. Best of luck!!

Hi, everyone,

Thanks for the feedback. My brothers and I are pretty close; and I definitely want them included in the wedding. We`re thinking of making them ushers, or one an usher and one a guestbook pusher, and I`d like them to read scripture. We just hadn`t put them in the wedding party--and I just discovered that this was fairly important to my mom. Its been kind of touchy because I understand her point, but when it came up originally, my financee wasn`t sure because *he* didnt know them (hasnt met them as yet--family is in a different region), hasn`t seen siblings stand up in the (few) weddings he`s been at, and had a number of close friends coming in, literally form the opposite coast. Given that, I didn`t know if I should push the issue. At the time I didnt want to have to talk him into it.

So that`s the dilemma. Just haven`t been sure which request/instinct gains precedence! Haven`t been sure how things are "supposed" to work.

The wishes that should matter are yours and your fiance. It`s both of yours wedding. Not to mention this is the man you are going to spend your life with and compromise with for the rest of your life. I`m all for trying to keep family happy, but keep in mind it is HIS wedding too.

I think that you were right not to include your brothers in the wedding party. Your mother really just needs to see it from your groom`s point of view, he wants to be surrounded by people who totally support him, how can your brothers fill that role if they don`t know each other?

In my wedding, I was not able to include all of my sisters as bridesmaids, just two out of 4, and my two brothers will be sitting out entirely. My groom is asking his brother and his best friend to be groomsmen, and the friend is the best man, not his brother.

Have you talked to your brothers? They might be taking this better than your mom is. If they are understanding after you give them a call and let them know how important and special they are to you, and show how you would like them to participate, maybe you all can approach your mom on a conference call and put a stop to this.

It really shouldn`t matter whether or not your fiance has met your brothers. He knows you are close with them and he knows it`s important to your family to have them in the wedding party. So of course he should include them in the wedding party out of respect for you and your family. I don`t see where the dilemma is here. If your family is important to you then then your family should be important to your future husband.

I am having kind of the same delema...one of my sisters is a bridesmaid, but the other 2 are too young.. (I don`t want them to be junior bridesmaids) so, I am having one pass out programs & 1 pass out bubbles as everyone leaves.. That way they are part of my big day too....I only have one question....what should they wear? Should they wear something similar to the bridesmaids or not? I have been having a heck of a time tring to pick out what they should wear. Help!

Maggie is totally right your brothers are always going to be your brothers, now a days it doesnt even matter how many people stand in your wedding blood is thicker then water, i know that its your fiances day also but im sure if he had sisters you didnt know i think you`d be fine witht that, i know i would. My fiance is having some of his closest friends that i hardly know stand in our wedding but it doesnt bother me because i want him to be happy also. Well best of luck to you, and GOD BLESS!

I am getting married in April 2005 and I did not ask my brothers to be in my wedding. I am very very close with my fiance`s sister so I asked her to be in my party, and his brother will also be in with his groomsmen, but that is because he chose him to be in it, along with his close friends!!! I chose my close friends & then his sister! If you truly still want to include you brothers and or anyone else that you did not get to place in your wedding party, I would use them as ushers, that way the groomsmen get to stay in hiding with the groom until the big moment comes anywhere.. He needs them with him for support! But I don`t see any reason why you should HAVE to have your brothers! It is all personal preference & as with many other things these.. Things aren`t going by the books & everything isn`t so old fashioned anymore.. Do what you feel is right & what you want.. It is your day & your fiance`s day!!! NOBODY elses!!

Good Luck!
Meg