Family Drama!
Two problems: My brother and his wife (who just had a baby and is off her depression medication), have backed out of my wedding as a groomsman and matron of honor. They sited that they did not know my fiance, and they do not believe that I cared/worried enough about her pregnancy for the past nine months (I threw a baby shower, I spent most of my summer (I`m a teacher) at their house keeping her company while on bed rest, and I helped them pack and clean their old house before they moved in September. On top of all of this they have declared that I am not a good role model for my niece that I have only seen once since she was born on October 7th.) My brother`s wife has been holding grudges against me, I just found this out last month, for the past four years. Their eruption of emotion towards me has caused a rift between us, all of this occured out of the blue four weeks ago. I had no clue that they were holding so much against me.
As a result, my mom asked me ro invite them to my wedding (that I`m footing the bill for). Right now, I would rather not have to see them on that day.
How tacky would it be to uninvite them, or to seat them in an area of the church so I don`t have to see them?
Please help!
Drama #2: My future mother in law is also refusing to attend the wedding, because I`m having it in a Lutheran church, and having the reception at a hotel! (There isn`t even going to be any drinking at the reception, and most of the music with be oldies!) What can I do for my fiance if his mother and father refuse to show up for this big day in our lives?
Thanks!
Posted by andrea; updated 11/13/04
Reply
Whoa! You really need to get these people together and soon. As for your fiance`s family, he needs to speak with his parents, that really shouldn`t be your department but you should be there when he talks to them for support. You should let them both know that you want them there to share in the happiness of bringing two families together and especially to be there for their son. Although, I am very shocked that they would do that to their own son! As for your brother and sister-in-law, you have no idea how post partum drepression hits a woman and if she was already depressed, then she is probably one step away from going back on her medicine. You need to talk to your brother and do it soon. You need to find out without his wife there, how he truly feels about this. He may be pacifying his wife`s emotions in order to not have her condition get worse or to have her have a breakdown. I will say this, it is rude to uninvite them (even though they are not acting like family right now). Somewhere in this you have to be the bigger person but I must say this, if they decided not to be in it, I doubt they will come to it. So show the world that it is not you, it is them. Let him know that the things you did for them while she was pregnant, you did out of love for them and your niece so it is they who must figure out how much love they have for you.
Posted by Mika; updated 11/14/04
