Im Crushed, But Also Her Friend
Ok here is the problem.. It isnt pretty. My good friend Kerry liked this guy, Christopher for a long time last year. Then she got over him. All this year I have been IN LOVE WITH HIM (ok ok..so its not LOVE but i really really like him with a burning passion inside my soul). And i have liked him for about 3 months, but for the first month or so i was too shy to talk to him ( and he is really really shy and emo so he would never make the first move) but he is good friends with Kerry so i hang out with her at lunches and school and recently have been talking to him more and more. And I get so happy whenever I can make him smile!! Anyway... So I had been telling her and my other friends how much I like this boy. (aawww! Christopher) then out of the blue (even though I kindof knew she still liked him inside) Kerry tells me that she still really really likes Christopher and that she wants to tell him this, but wants my opinion first on the situation, and also that she really values our friendship and feels that she has been a jerk. I told Kerry, that NO she definately wasnt a jerk to me and if anything, I was the jerk to her because i kindof knew inside that she still liked Christopher but continued to talk to her about how much i loved him and his eyes and his little maurisms (spelling?) when he gets really happy. I told her to tell him and that she DESERVED HIM! #1 because she has liked him for so much longer, #2 she has known him for way way longer and therefore probably likes him on a less superficial level than I do. #3 That they look so happy when they are together. The only problem is... I still REALLY LIKE THIS BOY! and I value our friendship so much. So for the past few days she hasnt told him.. And I really want her to because then, I would know too right?.. And it`s at a point where I really like this boy a lot!!! and will like get to school early just to spend a few extra minutes talking to him, though I really mostly talk to Kerry and a bit to Christopher... Anyway so today I was talking with Kerry and was like " KERRY!! I gave you three situations where you were ALONE with Christopher and you haven`t told him you like him yet!!" and then she said....."well no I haven`t told him, but see.... The thing is.. He just told me that he likes me".. I stopped dead, and after I got home, I cried. What do I do??.. Is there a CHANCE he likes me (sometimes he asks me things that I know he already knows the answer to, just to be able to talk to me..)??? I don`t know at all what to do.... Help..
Posted by Cindy Day; updated 11/11/04
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I need help too. I like this boy his name is Gabriel and since i met him i liked him alot, his two friends were there to o when i met him. Anywayz, at first he started to flirt with me when we met. Then i didn`t see him or talk to him anymore because he lives in another town 45 miles away. Until one of my guy friends from my town and started going out with one of his friends her name is Vanessa. And me and her became friends. Everyday Gabriel would ask her how I was and she would tell him that i was fine. Gabriels friends were teasing him a couple days later that they knew that he liked me and that we were going to go out. Gabriel didn`t say anything to anyone. I called Vanessa and i asked about him and she told me all of this i also asked her for his e-mail address and she gave it to me. She tells me that he doesn`t have a computer at home. But he uses his friends computer ro get on msn. We only talked for about five minutes. Cuz he goes to work right after skool from 4 pm to like 9:30 pm. I got over excited and i started to like him alot. Then later i find out that he has a different colored girlfriend and that they like each other. I got disappionted and i thought that it wasn`t true. But then my friend Jenny has a birthday party at her house and i saw gabriel making out with his girlfriend Megan in front of me and i got so pissed at him for making out in front of me and Megan for stealing my only chance to be with him. 2 weeks later i go to the mall on a Sunday with my parents and i see gabriel with his friends. I got in a store and bought a hat. Then he goes in and asks me if i bought what was in the bag for him. And i told him that it was a hat and he asked me why i bought a hat and i told him i don`t know. Then i left the mall. Now i am confused i don`t know what to do or say or even think. What should i do. He knew 2 weeks later that i met him he knew i liked him. Please help me out. I need advice on what to do. My e-mail is LilJackie_31@hotmail.com or Jacqueline_arreguin@yahoo.com But please help me out i beg all of you
Posted by Jackie arreguin; updated 11/11/04
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STOP THE DRAMA
Posted by Isa; updated 11/11/04
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Cindy, you can`t do anything since you told her to do that. When you did that, you were not being honest about your feelings with Kerry or yourself. You may have thought that it would turn out another way and you are just hurting that it didn`t go the way you had hoped. I wish I could say that I knew how you felt but I don`t. I always lived by the rule that if your friend likes a boy or has had him as a boyfriend at one time, then he was hands off. You knew that she liked him and even after she stated that she didn`t, you still knew that she still harbored feelings for him. Ask yourself these questions:
1. Did she start back to liking this boy after you started telling people that you liked him? (Figure this out slowly, most people don`t want something until someone else likes it. Did she like this boy but then stopped, then started back again because you had a big interest in him?) Figure out this question and then ask yourself the next few.
2. Is this worth losing a friend over? Do you consider her a true and honest friend?
I am going to state this again, you cannot do anything because you not only told her that she deserved him but you gave her reasons to be with him. You may have thought that you were being a good person (and you were) but you weren`t honest with her or yourself about your feelings and now you can`t handle the after mass of feelings that are taking over your heart. Take some time to cry it out and then go back out there and when you are not looking or least expect it, your "Christopher will find you and he will be even better than the other Christopher. You are young, don`t lose yourself over one boy. No boy or man is promised to any girl or woman. I have been with my husband for 17 years and he can walk out the door at any moment. He is not promised to me no matter what the vows or the ring means. He can change his mind or heart and leave me. Cry it out, be with other friends and family while you deal with this. Go out to the movies and have fun. I am only telling you what I would tell my own daughter.
Posted by Mika; updated 11/12/04
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Thank you guys so much for your input. I guess that I have alot to think about now. Aha, maybe I should just stop all of the drama. I am trying to, and I was only trying to be a good friend, but I guess that I kind of screwed myself over... I will back off of Christopher (ths is is going to be very very difficult for me..) and I will be GENUINELY happy for Kerry. She is my friend and all in all that is what matters to me. Besides Christopher said that he liked her, and If they are both happy, all of the better, right? I will still be friends with him. I know that Kerry liked him the whole time and didnt really stop liking him, just because she found out that I did, she isn`t that kind of person. Thank you guys again for helping me!.....let the healing begin...
Posted by Cindy day; updated 11/12/04
