Eloping

Well this is just my 2 cents worth, everyone please feel free to disagree (politely!).

I dont think the way you feel is wrong because if I were in your shoes I`d feel the same way! I think she is being really selfish. Strictly speaking, u have no right to expect anything from anyone (although of course I`d be a bit hurt if I didnt get a shower!) But, not inviting people yet expecting them to spend on you redefines selfishness.

Feel free to do what you want but in my opinion, you are under no obligation at all to give any parties etc as she hasnt invited you. She is well within her rights to want only family there for whatever reason, but if you dont invite someone, then dont expect anything from them...