Monetary Gift On The Invitation

"What I am pointing out is that it is pretentious to:"

Kuka, it`s also pretentious for you to initiate gift talk with your guests.

"A) have someone do your "dirty work"... That is, have people other than the wedding couple inform the guests that cash is a preferred gift."

I believe you`ve misunderstood. I`m not suggesting anyone do your dirty work informing guests of your wants. Often guests will ask close families members or wedding party members about the couple`s preferences, tastes, etc. If a guest should ask, it is perfectly acceptable for any of those people to inform. It is not appropriate for anyone to send wish lists or initiate gift talk with guests. It`s up to the guests to decide whether or not they would like or need that input. For those that do ask, the answer is appreciated. For those that don`t ask and are approached anyway, it`s presumptuous and insulting.

"B) refer to the common custom of offering gifts a wedding as an afterthought. Birthdays, housewarmings, Christmas... All have their customs, among which offering gifts is a well documented custom. Weddings just happen to cost about 1000 more to produce."

You are correct that it is customary to give a wedding gift. However, you are mistaken that there is any custom in which it is acceptable for couples to send out unsolicited gift wishes. And you are definitely mistaken in your implication that a wedding gift has any association whatsoever with the fact that a party is being paid for.

Good luck.