Etiquette / Opinion
I have so many questions. I always wondered when it came to etiquette and opinion what was the difference? The rules of etiquette had to come from someone which since it came from a human, doesn`t that make it their opinion? Was someone offended by someone putting something on an invitation years ago and decided that it shouldn`t be done? I don`t want opinion here, I want to research how etiquette came to play for today`s society and if it is something that a human wrote, does that make it the gospel or does that make it opinion? I have watched people state that they have had "monetary gifts requested" and many people tell them that they were tacky, dumb and worse. Isn`t it that person`s opinion? So if that is that person`s opinion, why isn`t that considered etiquette? I have read a few eitquette wedding books and one said that etjquette changes often, so isn`t that a person just changing their opinion from what they may have stated earlier to conform to society today? Why is it not tacky to ask for gifts at the Shower and tacky to ask for gifts at the Wedding. Shouldn`t a Bride be happy to receive something no matter what? I don`t understand the difference. At the shower, you shower the Bride with gifts, well should she have the right to tell me what to buy her at the Shower as opposed to the wedding? Why? I have watched the back and forth, I read books and now I am asking WHY, WHAT, WHEN and HOW. I just really don`t understand.
Posted by ???'s; updated 10/08/04
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Asking this question is like asking if the laws (that we follow in society) are people`s opinions. Just like with laws, people got out of control on many different areas so a team of experts got together and decided that rules should be made so that everyone can enjoy life, parties, weddings, etc... Etiquette is like manners, it is basic common sense. You tell your children to say thank you and please. When I was a child and someone bought me a sweater that I didn`t like, I was not allowed to say, I don`t want that thing even if I felt it. You are taught to appreciate a gift because someone cared enough to love you enough to buy it for you. Same goes with etiquette. How can you and your guests celebrate comfortably if you don`t follow basic etiquette so that they can enjoy themselves? I know that I would feel offended if someone told me to pay to come to their wedding and that is what I think of when they put monetary gifts appreciated. It is as if I have to pay to go to their wedding. I would probably give them money as a gift but don`t feel that you should tell people what to bring to your wedding. At the shower, it is proper to state where you are registered so that you can "shower" the bride to be with gifts. There is a difference there. Your guests can give you something at your wedding but they really don`t have to give you a gift. At the wedding they are there to celebrate your day with you. I hope that you understand this. I, by sure, am not an expert.
Posted by Mika; updated 10/09/04
