My Daughter Who Is 14

At 14 why was she on any kind of shot ??? and why wasn`t she still playing with her dolls? You can`t let them grow up so fast. I don` t mean to sound so judgemental but she is still to young and I am not a doctor, but maybe she had all these side effects because she was so young. Think it over your the mother.

Cheri at 14 this child is heading on a down hill spiral. If she is allowed to have a boyfriend and get on birth control, then you should not be so shocked that she has gone overboard. I know so many people on Depo and the most they have said is that it makes them gain weight. I have never heard of anything so extreme so I can only think that her very young body (which probably already had a chemical imbalance) was triggered more by those harsh hormones. You state that you blame the shot but did you ever think to look in the mirror and take the blame for this yourself? You allowed her to be on the shot. No one forced it on you or her (unless you forced it on her for her sexual activity). Did you read the side effects about this shot before you allowed a child`s body to go through that? As for the changes, it is rebellion and most teens go through it. Many not to that extreme just because of being on a shot. The shot and the drugs & alcohol were probably a bad mix and turned her out. I really don`t think that the shot made her drink or try drugs. Could be peers, boyfriend or just plain rebellion and that lead to more trouble but a shot could not do that on its own.

Are you serious??? You said it yourself.."she`s my little girl again." SHE`s A LITTLE GIRL!!!!! Why are you enabling her to be sexually active? KIDS should not be having sex! It`s unnatural! The shot made her drink and do drugs? Where were YOU when she was drinking and doing drugs??? Why don`t you take responsibility for being an absent/irresponsible mother, and stop blaming a drug that is used to prevent pregnancy. Try providing a little guidance!

My daughter is 15 and I am thankful every day that the most I am going through is the typical teenage "problems" like in the bathroom too long primping and pampering or that she is on the phone talking for hours, procrastinates and things like that. The last thing I am concerned about is her having sex, drinking, doing drugs and things like that. I thank God for my family, her father, his family, Church and Girl Scouts. She is so busy in Cheerleading, Girl Scouts, Drill Team, Dance class, International Baccalaureate program, Student Ambassador Program and trying to make it in the Who`s Who in American Highschool Students for a second time in a row that she doesn`t have time to even come home with the boyfriend idea. We have talked to her about no dating until 16. We have put out the rules for her but we find things that she is interested in and put her in it. When a child is busy and you have an active interest in her life, there is no way that this child could have been this out of control. I talk to her and I hope that when she is ready for this time in her life that she remembers what I told her about that being the greatest gift to give to your husband but I also just want her to come to me. I can`t imagine what your role is in your daughter`s life? I don`t by far make out that mine is an angel because she gets into her fair share of trouble but I am blessed to say nothing like what you have experienced and I must wonder, why you let such a young child get on any type of birth control even one as strong as that? Her body couldn`t possibly have handled that and she made it worse with drugs and alcohol. I think you need to get her counseled and stop blaming birth control for her reactions.

This "childs" problem isn`t the shot, it`s you. Were you around when she was doing drugs and drinking? Maybe YOU should consider seeking professional help. She should be having fun being a kid! She shouldn`t worry about sex or anything the goes along with sex. Let her just be a kid and you need to learn how to be a mother! Kids need limits!

I`m 20 and what I have to say is actually a different response. I was about 14 when I started getting close to boys. So at least YOU have a close enough bond that you could get her the help that she needs. Yeah that shot is not right for just about anyone. The Ortho-Evra patch is much better. To blame you for the outcomes from a teenager is wrong. No matter what age anyone is the issues would come up eventually. The girl is very lucky that you helped her. I was her age and my mom didn`t even know about what I was doing. And to all you bragging parents. I graduated high school with Honors. So Just back off of this woman, she`s going through some difficult issues right now. Aren`t we supposed to be here for support and help? Well if they aren`t I`m here and will gladly talk to you.
Sweetlilsuzyq@yahoo.com - Suzy Q.

Hey Suzie Q, Mika stated that although her daughter has honors she still gets into trouble but, to keep them busy and that would stop a lot of the things that her daughter got into. She told her to get the counseling that they needed and to stop blaming birth control. We all know that teenagers have a chemical imbalance in them and if steered in the right direction, they can help them as much as possible. I am thankful every day for people like Mika who takes time and puts the parenting first in their child`s life. I know plenty of parents who are barely in their children`t lives and nothing like this has happened and many who are in their children`s lives and this happened but they never blamed the birth control. This is just the behavior of many teenagers. We see it on TV almost every day that people have out of control teenagers and need help. This parent has stated that she blames the shot for all of her daughter`s actions. First, knowing that your child is sexually active at that young age and just putting her on birth control instead of getting her counseled and taking a little control is not going to make the situation better. I guess like many teens feel, if she allowed her to do that and provided the means, then she allowed her to be on drugs and to drink alcohol (out of the mouth of babes). I asked my youth study class about this problem. They were amazed at how the mother felt that the birth control did it all and not the fact that she provided her with the means there. So Suzy Q, you at 20 don`t know what it is like to be a Mom. You are still wet behind your ears and don`t know much about life so when you become a Mom of a teenager, see if you can change things around for how you raise your child compared to how your mother raised you and then give advice. Until then, you are just like her daughter.

I was very young when I had my first boyfriend. My mother didn`t know until I got pregnant. I was 13 and had no idea what to expect. I got an abortion. My mother then put me in a program that gave me activities to do on the weekends and put me in after school programs so that I could have things to do. When I got into Dance, I forgot about the boyfriend who really didn`t love me as they all say. My parents did find me things to do and places to go. They started being parents and asking me where I was going, what I was doing, what I had planned to do. They started planning weekend trips to family, coming to my dance recitals and being apart of my life. When my parents were really in my life instead of working so much, I stopped having sex. I graduate this school year and I am passing with great grades. I have a partial scholarship to college and from the youth program, I learned that what I have is platinum lined and worth millions. If you give it away so freely to any boy, then you have given them millions of dollars for nothing in return. It isn`t love, it is for the moment. I talk to friends about it and since losing my virginity so young, I fear that I never really learned about my body or sex. I didn`t understand what was going on in my body. What I know now still isn`t enough to know that I love a boy or a man. I just know that I thank my mother and father for being there in my life. I thank my mother for turning into the friend when I need to talk openly about things now and she may get mad but she still talks to me. She is in my life 100% and keeping me busy. She has paid out so much money for my dance lessons and other activities that I am more interested in that than in the boy I thought was going to be there for me. I know that from my interest in dance that I can`t drink and do drugs so she wasn`t just putting me in something that I loved, she put me in something that would hold my attention to good things and from that, it kept me from the bad things so birth control is not what I had, I had parental control and that kept me from all the things that your daughter did. Suzy Q, the parents could not have been in her life all like she says or she would have never gotten into trouble so deeply. She didn`t need birth control, she needed parental control and life control. Instead of getting her free or low cost birth control to make the "problem" go away, she should have taken the time and interest to put her into something to keep her busy in other ways besides into a boyfriend.