Multiple Marriages & Bridal Shower Etiquette
Should a bridal shower be thrown for my sister-in-law? She was married once for a few years, divorced in `97. Her fiance has been married three times before. His most recent divorce was finalized near the end of `03/beginning of `04. They are both in their forties and have been living together for nearly three years. They are talking of a small intimate, family only wedding and have not yet set a date.
While this has nothing to do with the shower question...the fiance has five children (possibly six) with his previous wives, ranging in age from 16 to two.
With this limited information, can someone help provide some insight regarding bridal shower etiquette in this situation?
Thanks!
Posted by Lynette; updated 09/29/04
Reply
The purpose of showers is to "shower" the couple with gifts. Usually, the gifts are given because the couple is just beginning and cannot possibly furnish their house with everything they need, hence "showering" them with gifts. Since this couple is older, and much more established, I would say a shower is inappropriate. However, there is nothing wrong with having an intimate get together in celebration of the marriage.
Posted by Beth; updated 09/29/04
Reply
I was just got married for the third time, my husband was married once before. We are in our 40`s and 50`s and had a small intimate wedding for family. My daughter gave me a small shower with the women invited to the wedding. No one seemed to care. They gave me wonderful gifts like gift certificates for dinner, and massages and manicures. We had a blast and my duaghter said it was great to see how much everyone loved me. That was the greatest gift. Do what your heart tells you. The couple deserve to be showered with gifts, even if they are not getting married for the first time.
Posted by Sandie; updated 09/29/04
Reply
I wouldn`t throw a shower in this case. Because of their ages and the fact that they`ve been living together for several years and their track records (this will be the fifth marriage between them). I don`t really think a shower is necessary. A wedding gift is sufficient.
But your question doesn`t really have a right or wrong answer. A shower is never mandatory. A shower is given IF someone wants to give one. So if you feel you`d like to give her a shower, then by all means you should! If you don`t want to, you have no obligation to do so.
Posted by Linda; updated 09/29/04
